Finally! Sorry for the delay (I had transferred these to an external drive for safe keeping!)!!And Happy Halloween!

Hi all!

I need to go into more detail about our trip to Wolfe Island in July. We arrived on Wed afternoon to Cape Vincent. The  fields of windmills on the island can be seen across the water. Once we got to the island, the highway that leads to the village goes by the VanHals so we stopped in to see if they were home to say hi – luckily they were and it was great to see them. When we got to the hotel, I got to try out the new toy my dad got for me – a chair at the bottom of the stairs that rides on rails to the top. A little scary but it did the job just fine. They made lots of modifications to the apartment so I could be comfortable there – hardwood floors, roll-in shower. Really great. The next day was dad’s 70th birthday – in typical form, he was running all around so we didn’t get to see him too much until he slowed down a little later in the evening! The next day, Cathy Amara and her daughter Ruby came to spend the day with us. Cathy and I used to play soccer together in Seattle and were both post-docs in different labs at the UW. Ruby is adorable and they are happily living in Toronto (her parents live in Kingston which is the city across from Wolfe Island) where Cathy is faculty at Uof T.  The kids had a great time together and of course Jani enjoyed playing with them and earned the title “uncle Jani” from Ruby.  Jani stayed on the couch and late that night, Khaled and family arrived.

The next day the kids played and the adults talked. It was great to have everyone together.  That afternoon, The Soules came in and hung out with us for a few hours. It was great to see Dianne and Geoff and Andrew + families.  Sunday we went to Big Sandy Bay beach. On the way, we stopped at Jen and Brad who are expecting their first child – so cool!!  In the parking lot, we ran into Muffy and her kids Paige and Tate. They are teenagers now. Insane. They all looked and sounded great. Khaled pushed Encsi and I (she sat on my lap) all the way to the beach – no small feat! Lori and Mandy and some other spent the day at the beach with us. The kids had a blast, even with the massive seaweed! It was a fun time and I enjoyed my primier chaise lounge seating while the others “roughed in with their towels on the sand .

So I didn’t get to see nearly all the people I needed and wanted to thank in person. The silent auction party that Mandy, her mom, and Lori organized for me generated proceeds that covered about 40% of the cost of my van which is paid for completely. Given the current economic climate, this is a luxury many cannot afford. Especially considering the tenuous nature of my health, it is a massive benefit because even though I can transfer to a regular car seat, I cannot drive unless the car is modified and I cannot get my chair into the car alone (and it isn’t a collapsible chair). So this vehicle is extremely valuable to me and my function as a mother of 2 small kids. And by the way, the kids love going for rides with mommy in the van. Yesterday (most of us family not feeling 100% because of colds and cold weather outside) I took the kids for a little ride through town to get out of the house (our “little” house is not barn for them to thrash about wildly and they go pretty stir crazy in a short time!) and they ALWAYS say how much they love going with mommy in the van. I love my babies so very much and it means alot to me to be able to move around with them.  I know that once they start getting involved in stuff, I will be able to take them places and the more involved I am with them the happier I am!

So the plan was for Jani and I to take Kaden and Kyan home with us for a week but we all awoke in the morning and poor little Kyan had a fever so the four of us began our journey home. It was a good trip. Daddy took care of everything as usual. Mission completely safely.

September 11th was Rowan’s 6th birthday. My little nugget is a boy now. A first grader into Star Wars, guns, gladiators, X-men, any superhero you want to name,….a boy. But my boy still crawled into my lap today for hugs. Ah…….. His birthday was a fun boys party – horsing around, showing his guests the bow and arrow he brought back from Hungary, and serving them carrot cake (I swear that is what he chose. Ask me about celebrating his first birthday in Houston some time.) It was a nice afternoon with the wonderful people who came to celebrate with us.

OK next mission: Girish and Brenda’s wedding in Cabo which was postponed from May 23 to October 10 because of the swine flu…..

Have wheelchair, can fly!. Once we got past the check in where I realized when I scanned my passport and saw “Ismail” on the screen that I forgot I have not yet changed my passport to reflect the addition of my married name (but lucky had my driver’s licence with me! ask me about our trip to Tahiti in 2004 sometime), we flew from RDU to Dallas (DFW). Nuts and bolt: there is a special chair they have that can fit into the isle so I transfer to it just at the end of the airwalk and they strap me in and with one person in front and one at the back, they propel me to row #7 – the bulkhead row – and from that I trasfer to the airline seat. My chair goes in the belley with the plane and once everyone is off at our destination, they bring one of the funky narrow chairs and reverse the process. There, while on the airwalk in Dallas waiting to board to Cabo (SJD), Jani heard some others talking and the name “Girish” so we discovered that they were family (uncle and grandpa – tell you more about him later) coming from India for the wedding. Greeted by massive love as soon as the cab pulled up -Khaled and Mervie, Neil (groom’s brother) and their parents Suresh and Shoba (spectacular people – more on them later too). So we sat on the patio and chatted until 2am or so….so begins the extended celebration weekend!

The next day was gorgeous and so we joined Khaled and Mervie for breakfast…and what breakie would be complete without mimosa (those who know me know my penchant for this bevvie…and ask me the story about my family visiting us in Tx for Christmas 2004 somtime!)?!?!? So then we went down to the lounge chairs by the infinity pool. Ahh….even though I can’t smell, I FELT the ocean air and heard the waves crashing on the beach.

Lots of people came by to talk with us through the course of the day and it was lovely to see all these great people and spend such nice time with them in the gorgeous surroundings. That evening was the Sangeet, an Indian tradition for acquainting the wedding guests and some traditional Indian dance. The entrance was lined with a Hispanic band playing Mexican music while people mingled and chatted. The traditional Indian garb worn by the women was fantastically ornate and even the men looked pretty! We got to meet the lovely couple Elaine and Tony Malcoun. Tony is the gentleman who brought my brother in to join his group which he enjoys very much. Really lovely people. I say this over and over but truly, such an incredible range of equisitely charismatic, intelligent, and superbly warm-hearted people.  After dinner, Girish’s mom Shoba performed one of these, a young cousin another, and I think another relative did the third. They were really quite lovely. There was also an interesting show done by a yoing man and woman kind of in the distance – a flaming baton twirling + hoola hoop dance routine. Pretty cool!

So a funny story about Jani: the whole day we were at the pool and for a bit we went down to the beach (4 men took the corners of a lounge chair to get me there) under a palapa. That evening at the party, everyone was cleaned up and dressed up – mostly Indian chic. Haseena offered to come get a place at a table for us and apparently went to get started, but Jani and I were looking for Khaled and Merv and place where we could all be together. Anyway, Jani was talking about it later in the manner that Haseena was putting unexpected undue effort into it and didn’t even realize that Haseena was one of the people who had spent the day at the pool with us! He didn’t recognize her all dressed up! He didn’t live that down for the rest of the trip! She is little but she is a force!

The next day was very similar to the previous in terms of the weather. between Jani and my brother, they chucked me into the pool and there was a bench along the side for me to chill and have my beverage (2 for one poolside? oh, alright). The night was a Fiesta dinner outside by the water was lovely too. It was a pretty casual affair and people mingled and chatted more over the background of waves crashing on the beach. At 10pm the “younger” crowd (I think I just qualify but Jani, at 40, is pushing it a bit!), went to the lobby and crowded onto a bus. At the end of the journey, a really cool beach party was going on, organized by the groom’s brother Neil and sister-in-law Sajel. There were couches and table all around but it was on the beach. So Jani picked me up out of my chair and carried me about 200 yards through the crowd to one of the couches. And there I sat for the rest of the evening and people came and went and the space on either side of me was vacated. Fun. I didn’t miss going to the bar to join in the tequila shots I will tell you that (can’t drink that stuff since college!). The first person to talk to me was a nice young man who was a semi-pro soccer player (Pete? I don’t remember all the details, just that we were talking about soccer vs. football and baseball) and his friend Billy. Then Haseena, Merv, Kal, Lou, Neil, Sajel, and Sharon were around for a while (you know Jani – whole slew of interesting new people to talk to and drinks!?! I didnt’ see him more than necessary!). Then Oscar one of the wedding planners came and knelt on the sand next to me and talked for a while. Sweet young man.  There is another story there too it just depends on who you ask (Haseena, Merv, or Jani) as to which perspective you get! Anyway, another night ending at 4am.

So the next morning the breakfast nearly missed us but Jani skedaddled just in time to get some stuff for us. And then we headed to the pool! We hung out there for a little while but since the wedding was at 5pm, we wanted to make sure we were rested and ready. The wedding was on the beach and there was a terrace area I could see it from. Since they had speakers, I could mostly hear everything. Afterwards, I had a great chat with Elaine about everything from leaving the kids behind for the first time, to the Csardas (wedding dance in Hungary), to traditional Lebanese quisine (getting sick of hummus everyday versus the veriety in Indian quisine). Then I talked with Anu who presided over the wedding. I told most of it sounded loevly – what I could her that is and so she gave me a personal, word-for-word recount of everything she said. Apparently she doesn’t know Spanish but memorized the tranlations and recited them as she went along so that Brenda’s family could follow allow. When I went to Neil and Sajel’s wedding, I remember there was a ritual where they went a round a fire seven times. They did the same thing (athough it was a candle) and I asked her what each circle meant. So here is the run down: The whole thing is called the Sagtapadi – a ceremony to get validity for the occassion and sanctify the union. 1:for food, 2: for strength, 3: for prosperity, 4: for happiness, 5: progeny, 6: auspcious days, 7: friendship. So the pictures below are an amalgamation of highlights from the wedding and Rowan’s birthday party. I have lots from our trip but I have to work backwards to sort through them still!

There is so much more to tell about the wedding – several relatives from the wedding party from India approached me and said that athey had heard wonderful stories about us and came to meet us and introduce themselves.  Girish’s lovely uncle Prabat invited us to be his guests if we come to visit India. Sweet Grandpa Ram, 86 years old flew fom India-London, NY, Dallas, Cabo alone and back, took my hand and said “I will give you India” if you come. Everyone was just so kind. Hessina insisted many times that we come visit her in India. If you knew these people and what their lives are like, you would understand the depth of meaning in their words.  It was a tough trip in many respects but definitely worth it and I hope it was too taxing on those around me. I think it was for Jani even though he really enjoyed himself. He didn’t say but he certainly would never complain. 

So we are working on plans for the next couple of trips – need to go to Czech Rep and Hungary next year and then I’m thinking about telling Granpa Ram that we’ll come and celebrate his 90th birthday with him!! For now though Halloween, which is my favorite holiday, and 2 people are in my mind – Mervie will be 34 on Thursday 10/22 and Khaled next Sunday 10/31. So zap some text messages if you have their numbers! We still keep exchanging messages about how great it was to be in Cabo together!

OK that is it for this entry.  Not to end on a sour note but I will be thinking about all of you as I work through tomorrow – the second anniversary of the accident.

A short ketchup:

Went to Wolfe Island at the end of July to celebrate dad’s 70th.  It was such a nice visit. Not enough to time to see a fraction of the people I needed and wanted to see but enough to get the word out that I was there and that I love them!  Got to see Mandy and her family, Lori, Muffy and Paige and Tate, Cathy and Ruby, Andrew and Geoff their families and mom Dianne…..I need to go back soon. Miss it.

Jani and the kids had a wonderful trip to Hungary.  All the family and friends got together to celebrate Jani’s 40th birthday. Many family members took turns shuffling the kids around to different places and entertaining them.

Rowan had a great birthday.  Who said he could turn 6? At the end of the day, I asked him what his favorite part of the day was ” all of it!’ he replied without hesitating.  So darn adorable. And seems to be liking 1st grade all right. Whew!

Encsi is a little girl now. No more baby.  And all daddys. Fortunately, she looks a little more like mommy !!!!

As for me, busy is an understatement. I can’t believe it is going to October later this week. Paper resubmission due this week, grant due 10/16, going to Cabo for Girish and Brenda’s wedding 10/7-12. Khaled and Mervie will be there, Neil and Sajel, Lou,…..can’t wait!  Jani and I REALLY need this break together.

OK the rest of  this is going to be visual. Oh, and remember I said no time for Facebook. Yeah. I bit that one too.

I actually have a draft date 1/27 on which I jotted a couple of notes about stories I wanted to share. Then I updated on May. Now it is June.  There are other things of course so I’ll have to make a separate “summer” entry later!!

First, I know many people have Facebook pages but I honestly don’t have time for that. Jani has one and so you can write to him (on his wall? oh drat the techie terminolgie!!) or you can write to me at jaivirag@gmail.com or call/text my cell 252-412-8216.

I’ll start with a funny thing that Encsi said one night. We were hanging out in the pool room and Jani saw her mouth moving as though she were eating something. Neither of us had given her anything and so he booms at her “Encsi, what is in your mouth?” She grins back at him as says ”teeth”! I have told that story about 20 times and still can’t do it without laughing!!

Most people know this story too – about the pipe that supplies water to the inside sprinkler system burst on the coldest day in late Jan…in the master bedroom over the bed on Sat morning at 7am when Jani was at work. So the fire alram was going off and since I can’t smell, I didn’t know what was going on, only that water was gushing everywhere on the floor. Anyway, we survived it. The floors and celing had to be torn out and redone and the walls repainted and so I slept on the bottom of bunk bed in kids room and Jani slept on the couch in the pool room for about a month.

The first few months of this year have been wrought with tragedy. I prviously spoke about Ann Kleese’s passing. MariJo Grazziano, my dear friend Megan’s mom, passed as well so please keep these ladies in your thoughts. They have wonderful husbands and fabulous children that live because of them. We are a product of our genes and experiences. We must be strong but also enjoy each minute of every day. This is what they made us for and how they lived.

We were in the new Fresh Market grocery store at the beginning of February and Rowan and I were looking at the Valentine’s Day stuff they had assembled into a lovely showing. A man in a power chair approached us and asked me if that was my van outside. I said yes cautiously because a) thought maybe I parked it wrong/badly or b)something had happened to it (normally not a paranoid person!) but he simply told me that he recognized a scratch on the trim under the lift and was certain that he was the person who had it made and had owned it before me – and he lives a few miles away! We bought it at Van Products in Raleigh.

We had a fair bit of snow in NC this winter.  So much that school was canceled on election day. Jani was home and so he and Rowan went outside the window of the study and built a snow man.  Encsi didn’t like the cold stuff too much (she’s a beach girl!) !  As it got warmer over the course of the week, the snowman started to melt so Rowan says, “hey the snowman is losing weight!” It seems like winter went on for a very long time. Even here! It was still cold in May.

Work stuff: Jan and Feb were busy because of grants going out. March and April were busy because I got back into teaching the medical students. It was fun. Hard but good. It isn’t my area and so it will take some refinement but I like it and I’m glad. May and June have been busy because we are trying to get some data to resubmit our first manuscript paper due to AJP July 4th. Thing in the lab are going good – busy but a good group of people: Jess Dries - many of you know her but for those who don’t, she is my grad student going into her 4th year, Tracy a technician who started in October and is becoming a  Physiology grad student at the end of the summer. Davis Blanton, a 1st year medical student rotating to get research experience, and Jon DeAntonio, back for his 4th summer to help us out. I am lucky to have such a good group to work with.

Anyway, moving back to more personal stuff….

Easter egg hunt at Viquest. Jani had to work on this particular Saturday and so I thought I would be bold and take the kids to the easter egg hunt at Viquest. Although there were WAY more people than I thought, thing worked out reasonable well.  Rowan walked on the grass to get the hot dog lunch for him and his sister, then they went way across to go on the big blow-up slide thing. Aside from the fact that some woman and her child cut in front of them and there wasn’t anything I could do about it at that distance, Rowan went down the slide, then went back to retrieve his shoes and his sister (she was apparently too small to be eligible) and they came back to me. Then we went to the park area for the hunt. It was quite insane how people were urging their kids to get every possible egg  and so the first round wasn’t all that fruitful. We all wen to another yard for Encis age kids and they were much more successful. It was fun. They were good kids and I think they had fun…almost as much as me! So important to me to try to preserve their childhood. They have been through so much. We think that children are not aware of “adult” things but they are. Too much.

For Jani’s 40th birthday we took a trip to Hilton Head. Going to the beach wasn’t as easy as we had thought it would be but Jani made sure we enjoyed it.  He put me on aa lounge chair under an umbrella so I would crispify, Rowan was in the water about 99.8% of the time, and Encsi had fun people watching, talking to whoever would engage her, and playing in the sand.  It was complicated for me since we didn’t take some of the things I use on daily basis but now we know.

Mother’s Day was lovely. The kids made cards and magent pix for me and I still have them out. Of course, they will be preserved for all posterity. Now I know why my mom still drinks her coffee out of the mug I got for her some 30 years ago and never lets anyone (esp my dad who has a “tendency” to break stuff) touch it!

Jani’s 40th birthday…we had planned on spending Jani’s 40th (Mon May 25th) in Cabo alone together because we were going to go for Girish and Brenda’s wedding (Sat May 23rd). However, they had postponed this to October because of the swine flu. Poor kids. So much planning and so much anticipation. On our end, we had gotten a flight ticket for Peti, our nephew (Edit’s son) to come stay with them kids. Rowan was excited and Encsi is pretty mellow about that kind of thing.  We are hoping to be able to go in October but we have to see if we’ll be able to get someone to come stay with the kids since Rowan will be back in school.

Speaking of school….Rowan’s last day at school was supposed to be a half day on June 9th but it was actually June 8th since they were off to Hungary June 9th.  Unfortunately, the weather was yucky so they had to spend the might in Raleigh because their flight got cancelled. But they made it and have had a fantastic time as far as I can tell. They are on thier way home right now and so we’ll have more stories on this later….

As for my expereiences coping without them…..Khaled came to babysit – this is how I described it when he said he wanted to come. I thought there was a conspiracy going on between Jani and Khaled. conversation: Kaden to dad: “so you’re going on a babysitting trip?” Khaled: “your aunt is capable of taking care of herself. Kaden: “no she is going to babysit you because YOU’RE A BABY!” Nice!!  We had a great time – went to watch game 7 of the Stanley cup finals at BW3s- devastating that Red Wings lost. Went shopping the next day at the Fresh Market, then out to LA lounge martini bar where we ran into Jess and her boyfriend Patrick who joined us for a bit, then we enjoyed a late dinner of blue point oysters and paella at the Starlight Cafe (special place for me for many reasons). Sunday went to theater to see Hangover and in the evening, he bbq’d outstanding prime filet mignon, red beets, and vegetable kabobs. Crazy yummy. I’m so glad he came.  We haven’t had time alone together in 10 years….since the swim-up bar and shark dive in the Bahamas at Christmas when we went with mom and dad.  Even though it is wonderful to get together with our families, it was such a special time I will treasure very much.  It was exactly what I needed.

Megan, Melissa, Marsha, and Julie came to RDU on Friday June 19th. Megan made reservation for us at the Umstead hotel a few miles from the airport. I made it home ,packed things up and was able to get to the ariport to pick up the first 3 (Julie came very late but do you think that we were sleeping? of course not!). The hotel suite was fabulous.  Megan is our officially Betty planner for life…the rest of us can just barely get ourselves there!  Anyway, we spent the entire next day roasting by the pool. It was so nice…and so were the peach coladas! Then we went for dinner to “an”, an Asian fusion with European influence. It was super yummy and only 0.9mi from the hotel! So we enjoyed that immensely and went back to the room later to chill and talk more. The next morning, we had breakfast on the veranda and Marsha and I took the other 3 to the airport. Then Marsha and I found a little deli and had coffee and chatted for a bit longer. They don’t know this but I cried on my way home. Not only because I was sad to see them go so fast but also because I love them and I appreciate that they are so thoughtful. They came here last year to the house to spend Betty weekend and this year, I got to venture but close enough to home that if anything was problematic, I could have returned. They look after me but never indicate that they do. I don’t know if they discuss it. They wouldn’t tell me if I asked. But they know I love them and I am grateful for their friendship in ways I could never articulate.

Other little triumphs:

#1  I went to get my hair done. This is not new. I mean, I have done this before on my own but things have been INSANE this semster so I haven’t been since January. Jackie doesn’t chide me but she silently shakes her head and cuts off the garbage.

#2 I got my teeth cleaned. I have not been to the dentist since before the accident. Jani found an office over on Red Banks by Betsy’s office and so I made an appt back in April for June. I couldn’t get up the walkway and through the door so I called the front desk and a couple of the hygenists came out to help me. I was able to trasfer to their chair, get reclined, and feel the glory of having my teeth scoured.  When I say “glory” , I know full well how most people wince when they think of the metal picks scraping thier teeth. I have always been one of those. But not having had my teetch cleaned for about 2 years, I was happy to be there. The hygenist I had was really very nice and Dr. Coc spent time telling me the pros and cons of whitening with commercial products versus their treatment.

#3 I went shopping at the Fresh Market by myself. I pushed one of those little carts with 2 baskets on it through the store and got a bunch of stuff for my family for their arrival. Which is now about 5 hours away (it is 9pm). 

So many other things I need to say…the kindness people show at Fresh Market, the people I work with in the lab, I haven’t talked to Ionia folks – Rob, Cindy, or Cathy yet but I hope to soon.  So much to be thankful for.  Teresa and Dave came by yesterday to groom the yard when I was gone grocery shopping. I came home to them just finishing and was quite overwhelmed (surprising from the woman who was mowing the lawn at the other house 3 days before giving birth to Encsi…she wouldn’t come out and it was DEFINITELY WAY PAST time!). So then we went to go see Transformers (which was AWESOME!) in that afternoon. When I was taking them home, I casually asked Dave (knowing that is it his first language) about the engine light in my “limo”. So he spent about 27 seconds diagnosing, went to the auto parts store, and fixed it in 49sec.  

So I am glad to be able to take care of myself well enough that Jani and the kids can go and enjoy themselves without worrying about me.  I know that Jani wished for me to be with them but I really strongly felt that after all he has been through, he deserved to have time with his family without worry about me and how to get me around and where to keep me. They are fantastic people. On my end, it was good to be able to figure out what I can do. Jani does everything and doesn’t mind. But I used to be like that too and so even though my body doesn’t cooperate as well as it used to, my soul needed to try. Having my brother here the first weekend was great because I felt now only blissful to have his company but safe going out with him. Going to be with the girls the next weekend was great because I felt that after my brother was here and I had been alone for 10 days, I gained the courage and strength I needed to test my boundaries.  This weekend by myself at home I needed too. I know ther are going to be many times in my future when Jani and the kids are going to go do stuff without me but now I know also that there is a lot I can do because I am not only that same old me but I am Jani’s wife and you all know what that means…where there is a will, there is at least one way!

xxxoxoxox

A new assortment of pix to show you how full of life the last few months have been! And you know there are stories aplenty to go with them!! I know….it has been ridiculously long and by now you probably all think I’ve just forgotten about this site. Not true! I love this and all of you!! TIME has just not been on my side! No hospital visits though!!! So hold on please – I’m working on a mega post!

just added a few more pix to the media gallery…some didn’t work so I’ll try again soon!

Hope you all had a wonderful Valentine’s Day!!! Love from the Virags!

Today marks the day I have been home for one year. It represents my release from the infirmary and signifies my reentry back into back into my world, challenging but triumphant.  (As an aside, the word infirmary is awful, isn’t it? Shepherd was tough though and so, compared to how I feel now, that word fits.  And, while on the subject, I don’t like the words disabled or handicapped but rather, “barrier-free.” The cup is half full.).  Before I start, I would like to thank all of you for being here for me.  The spiritual, emotional, and financial energies that you have given have gotten me to where I am today.  Thank you will always be such a disgustingly huge understatement.

This week has been very tough and so I am not going to write everything I have on mind.  There are some stories to tell and so I will come back soon.

I will start with some warmth though….yesterday morning after Jani went to work, I got up and went to get the kids up and ready for school and daycare. I went in and just sat there for a few minutes, listening to them breathe and watching them sleep. It is so hard not be able to get to them to snuggle and smell them but I imagine myself doing it.  After I put them to sleep last night, I did the same thing before I went to bed. So incredibly peaceful. This is what I needed this week and what I extend to those I love.

When I say it has been a tough week, for me physically, the difficulty is only inconvenience and so that I will tell you about later.  Emotionally, things have been much harder.  I don’t want to go into detail about these things right now but I would truly appreciate if you would keep some people in your thoughts - my brother Khaled and his wife Mervie and their kids, and Ann Kleese and her family.  We all go through difficult times in life – the only differences  are what and when. When I think about what I have lost, the only way to keep sane is to look at what I have – my family and friends and all the amazing experiences I have had with them and because of them and the ones I am able to have now with them and because of them.  Life is as rich and fulfilling as you make it to be, as you FEEL it to be, and how you cope with the curve balls so that they don’t reduce your abilty to appreciate that richness.  The mind and heart take varying amounts of time to mend depending on the situation.  I may have mentioned this before: Priscilla gave me a very useful piece of advice in the card she sent me at Christmas last year – mourn my loss.  I was so busy at Shepherd I hadn’t thought about it but it came at a good time since I had been going through rehab for over a month and still had about a month to go.  Everyone has their own way of doing it and there is no recipe or right or wrong. Crying and pounding the walls of my roll in shower helped.  Keeping busy helps now – living the life I love with the family I love and doing the work I love.  When you experience loss though, there is only a certain amount or part of it that you can deal with in a particular period and then move on. There are varying degrees of loss and this complicates things.  This is compounded by the fact that we have memories and so reminders pop up when you least expect them, but sometimes there are constant, agonizing reminders.  Everyday I drive over the overpass where I was hit.  When I’m alone in my van, there are times when I scream at it. This is one of my outlets.  No one likes to see me cry but it makes me feel better.  Determination is key and for this I have the best reason and energy source - I am not going to allow this to take away from the wife, mother, sister, daughter, and friend that I want to be. That I was before.  This physically limitation is hard enough but the mental and emotional ones I have some control over and so I do my best.  This mode simply does not allow me to keep up with what is in my heart.  This blog helps because it reaches all of you that I physically cannot.  I am unable to express how much that means to me.

As many of you might know, this coming Sunday is my 39th birthday. I have so much to be thankful for I could just burst.  Love will lighten the weight of the trials of this week. Thank you so much for keeping me and those I love in your hearts. I hope I can return the energy someday to be there for you when you need me.

I didn’t write about two Christmas parties I went to this year. These experiences were WONDERFUL and must be shared. This isn’t as much an oversight as something that I thought should be written about separately. Plus I didn’t have time last time and the last installment was already WAY too long!!

The first was at Dave and Teresa’s house. They were hosting a party for Dave’s colleagues at Keller Williams Realty.  I have never met these folks and yet, when they heard about the accident, they rallied for me and gave donations to Dave to pass on to us. And not just once. There were many occassions that Dave would bring an envelope by the house even after I got home.  Anyway, we packed everyone up in the van and drove up the street to their home. They were having part of the festivities in the garage (awards ceremony) and so I rolled in there for a bit. I got to meet and personally thank them for their thoughts and help. It really meant a lot to me. It was quite overwhelming actually. I talked to a few people, gave some hugs, and thanked everyone but when I started to speak I choked. I could only muster a thanks. I hope they all know how much I truly appreciate their warmth and help despite my lack of ability to accurately convey it!!!

The other Christmas party I went to was the annual party that Drs. Lust have at their home for the Physiology department. Jess and Laura came to the house to make sure I could get the kids together and to help me unload and look after them once there. Well, when we arrived, Laura’s husband Gene took the ramp out of the back but it wouldn’t reach up the steps. So Bob and Rob and a few others had me lock up my wheels and pulled a Cleopatra dais manuever on me! Strange to entrust myself to others to that degree (and worse coming down – I closed my eyes!!!) but it was well worth it!! The kids had a blast- Encsi managed to finagle chocolate/sweets from pretty much everyone, and there were plenty of other kids there for them to play with. I got to talk to people I don’t get to see very much and it was really a lovely evening. Thsi was the first time I have seen Carol Lust since I got home. It was very nice, although the words still don’t make it past the lump in my throat to thank her and Bob for what they did for me.  I am sorry that Jani had to miss it although things certainly would have been different if my Hungarian lift was there! I am fortunate to work with such good (and strong!) people who are clever and willing to help me out.

So I continue to have lots of thanks to give!!!

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday!

Things have been crazy since Thanksgiving…..

My health:  I actually spent Thanksgiving in the hospital. I had a minor outpatient procedure a few days before and things went awry and I ended up in an ambulance to the ER the night before. I got home Friday before noon and have since recouperated fairly well but not yet at 100%.  No sense of smell yet and no indication that my pituitary function is getting better. The diabetes insipidus (the reason I am taking the intranasal desmopressin) is something I will just have to live with.

My family: Kids are fabulous. Rowan just went back to school after being home for 2 weeks and when we were on our way, I asked if he was excited and he said yes. He took some chocolates for a few of his teachers (he asked to do that!). Encsi’s language skills are phenomenal. She puts lots of words together, understands everything (and only response favorably to what she likes!) and wields words that it seems a 2.5 year old shouldn’t even know! Such a remendous pleasure they are. More beautiful by the minute.

They enjoyed having family here for the holiday. We made everyone stay here with us – not the Hilton but we had fun! My parents came 19-26th and Khaled, Mervie, Kaden, Kyan, and Kellan came 23-28th. The kids had a blast playing outside togther. Uncle Jani built fires in the pit a few times so there were plenty of s’mores -Kyan made one for his mommy, myself, and nana (this was her first ever!).  I took everyone (except Auntie Mervie – I’ll get to that in a minute) for a ride in the sticks on my Recon (the 4-wheeler). The stories I heard from each kid were quite funny. Kyan (aka “rubbermade” because he is adventurous and indestructable) was the first to hop on with me. He saw a dead fish hanging from a tree and we decided it was there because someone was trying to lure a bear in to catch it. Kaden continued that story line by saying that someone on his moms side of the family has a deer head mounted on their wall and so he thought that was why they wanted to catch the bear.  Mom was disgusted because I don’t wear googles. Apparently Walker isn’t to thrilled about that either and I think he mentioned wearing a helmet. A helmet I get, but goggles?  It isn’t like I’m going on the road and cruising fast. Just leisurely meandering through the trees I love so much. I can still imagine how nice it smells.

Anyway, we had a wonderful time. Between Papa shopping everyday and Nana trying to keep up with the supply and demand by cooking, we ate like royalty. I couldn’t smell the apple strudel but it tasted pretty good! Our neighbors, the Adamses, have an incredible display of Christmas lights and blow up decorations on their lawn. So Christmas Eve, I loaded the kids and Auntie Mervie (for crowd control – she is little but she does teach high schoolers and so learn fast that you DO NOT want to see her mad) into the van and took them to see it. Khaled took nana and papa. Uncle Jani stayed behind to keep an eye on the stove. When we returned about 15 min later, Uncle Jani was sweeping the carport and moved ahead of me when I pulled in. Since it was dark, all the Christmas lights were so pretty and we could see the lights on the Christmas tree that was in the window of the dining area just ahead. Well, what we saw then was truly spectacular! Santa Claus was putting presents under the tree! So I pulled forward a bit and before you could say Ho-Ho-Ho, all 3 kids in the back had their belts undone and were plastered against the window of the van waving at Santa! He winked at us, quickly finished putting the gifts under the tree, and then before we could back up, park, and get my slow derriere into my chair and out of the van, he had slipped out the back and on to the next house. Wow! What a cool thing to have gotten a glimpse of! Our kids must have been REALLY good this year. And I think it probably took him longer to put all the gifts there than it did for the kids to unwrap them! No such thing as taking turns when you’ve got ages 1.5, 2.5, 3.5, 5, and soon to be 7!! Auntie Mervie made nana this cool bracelet with black and white pix of each of the grandkids. Well, there were 6 frames. Uh-oh. We are hoping that clump of cells in that ultrasound image is XX and not a fourth XY!! So a very Merry Christmas was had by all!!!

So I’m going to flash back for a moment – last December I was still in the hospital. Nicle and Dave came to see us and we all went to the museum together. They moved from Seattle to Minneapolis and are doing well. Bill and Rachel from Seabrook, Tx came with their kids to see us and bring the proceeds from the generous auction/party that Susan and Kevin held for me. Christmas was lovely. I got to spend it with Jani and the kids and my parents. Todd and Megan not only loaned us their house, they put up a tree and loaned Jani a car to get me there and back. I had a “day pass” from Shepherd. I remember the kids running around, my mom in the mitchen, and Jani outside manning the BBQ. I remember Encsi trying to climb up next to me to get on the couch and when she couldn’t and I wasn’t strong enough to help, Rowan hopped off and gave her a boost. I read the “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” to them. The gifts we received from so many people. Thank you again. I may not be able to adequately express my gratitude but I will certainly always remember.  Many of the nurses in the hospital commented on how many visitors, packages, and mail I got. They said there were people there that had none of that. Some families can’t afford the time or money to leave their lives to visit a loved one in rehab. I will never forget all of you and I will never stop being thankful for each of you. Even those I have not yet had the chance to talk to. There are friends of mine from Ionia high school like Cathy O’Malley, Cindy Bollinger (now Munchy), and Rob Banhagel that I have been in touch with through e-mail or phone messages but not actually connected to – yet! Please don’t give up on me!! Rob, if you see this please call me again! I lost your number!!  One thing I need everyone to understand is that things take me longer. I am busy with my family and work but what is really limiting is that since I need my hands to move, even though I carry my cell phone with me everywhere, I can’t walk and talk like I used to. I do text people often because I can do that in an elevator since it is short and quick. E-mail too since Jess gave me her old Dell Axim PDA that goes everywhere with me too.

I’m not even going to say it was too short because that is given and when you think about life, the good times ALWAYS go too fast.  I’m just glad there are good times.  Things could be so much worse. I certainly have my moments. There is so much I need and want to do. Even though this is very difficult and some may wonder about my quality of life, if you lived a day in my shoes, there would be no reason wonder. Rowan just got home from schol and Jani took him ice skating. I remember Christmas of 2006 being up on the island and getting skates for Rowan and Kaden for Christmas and going to Kingston to sakte in the town square. Hope and Jay were there with Jed and Aiden and then Hope came to the Toucan to hang with us a bit.  So yes this really  hurts because I can’t take Rowan skating anymore. But I will watch him, encourage him, and expose him to as many of these fun things as possible and watch him take ownership of whatever he enjoys. Encsi too. They are such wonderful little monsters and I am glad to be their mom and I will be the best I can.

Work stuff: I resubmitted a manuscript to AJP-Heart&Circ in early Dec and got it back a few weeks later.  They didn’t accept or reject it. They want me to respond to comments and they will send it back to the reviewers. So we’ll see.  Also, I submitted a grant to NIH today and so that is a huge load off. Bob helped tremendously with that and he and Jian are co-PIs on it. Now we have to wait until July for the review. Time will fly between now and then though. Here is a snapshot of what 2009 has in store : Jess is in the process of writing a pre-doc fellowship proposal to submit to AHA at the end of the month; Kaden will be 7 on Feb 6th; the McDevitt’s are coming Feb 11-15th; Hans is coming at the end of March; I get to teach endocrine and reproductive to the med students (3 weeks total in Mar-Apr); Jani is turning 40 on May 25th and so hopefully he’ll celebrate with his family in Hungary; Kellan will be 2 on May 4th, Rowan will be done his first year of school June 9th; Khaled and Mervie will be celebrating 10 years together  on June 23rd which is also Kyan’s 4th birthday; Encsi will be 3 July 24th; Mervie is due in early August , then Rowan will start 1st grade in late August….and so goes the cycle of life!!!

So this is all I have time for right now. My resolution for the new year is to make more peace with myself on this and be positive for those that love and support me. Thank you for being one of those reasons for why I am here and want to be strong.

I know the intervals between my entries are getting longer and longer and I am sorry for that. I think of so many people all the time and just don’t have a minute to get in touch. I hope you all know how near you are to my heart.

This is might be short just to catch everyone up. Hopefully at some point during this holiday season I’ll get some time to elaborate! If you read the last 4 entries, you know that Jani, Khaled, and Bob also wrote to update you on their perspectives on things on the 1 year anniversary of the accident. I am glad to have all of them in my life and I greatly appreciate their words. While all 3 are supportive and optimistic, I know it is tough for them and I am so lucky to have them looking out for me.

Health is fine but still no sense of smell or sign of normal pituitary function returning.

Life since October:

Jani graduated and is now a ifrefighter. He passed his EMT exam and so one day soon he will start going out on the ambulance too.

Kids are awesome. Rowan is doing fine in school although he says he is kind of bored but we figure that is because he has to sit still and listen. Jani’s son! He was raised being outside except when eating or sleeping and so he’d rather dig holes, find wood for a bonfire,….   Encsi started at PCCC child developnent center and she loves it and we are very happy about that. Miss Sarah and Mrs. LaNeave enjoy having her there and she is getting exposed to lots of different things.

So here is what has been going on here:

Emilia who came from Mexico in July to live in with us took off without telling us shortly before Jani graduated. We had taken in her friend to keep her company and we tried to find a job for her but we couldn’t and we couldn’t afford to keep them both even though we weren’t paying the friend. So they were both home with Encsi all day (and still often couldn’t manage to cook more than opening a few cans or making macaroni and cheese) and then Rowan 3-5pm and we never saw them because they didn’t get up until 5 min before we all had to leave in the morning and then they went to English classes from 6-9 Mon-Thurs. They packed up all there stuff while we were gone int othe Isuzu, told Jani they were going out with a friend, went to meet her and then she followed them back and they dropped off the car just as I was getting home from work, they never came to say goodbye to me and left and never came back. We found the note the next evening when Jani knocked on the door and got no answer. We are actually glad they are gone because they were teenage girls. They were kind to the kids but they didn’t like being outside (well, other than sitting on the patio) and were more concerned with texting/talking their friend and boyfriends than interacting with us as a family. We tried by having dinner for them and with them, have them join in on family things, but they often didn’t come out of their room on the weekends unless they were going to eat or go shopping. Anyway no big loss. Just bad timing and crappy that they didn’t tell us they were leaving after Jani specifically told them that we would need time to work on finding a replacement and she agreed to wait for us to do so. So much for that!

So we have been very busy juggling schedules trying to get everyone to where they need to be and when. When Jani works, I come home early and wait for Rowan in my van in the driveway and we go pick Encsi up. Then in the morning I get them both ready and get Rowan to school for 7:45am and take Encsi to meet daddy at the firestation for when he gets off work at 8am so he can take her to PCCC. So we’re managing. Jani keeps things flowing smoothly.  

I went to a grant review study section in Reston, VA for a couple of days. Teresa came with me and everything went very smoothly. I enjoyed being there – met good people and learned a lot.

Jani’s sister was here Oct 21-Nov 3rd and that was awesome. She is a riot and she really helped so much. It is nice – we are not be able to communicate but we still “get” each other. And she LOVES the kids and they her. I am happy that she came for Jani’s sake - they are close and he was grateful for the help. She experienced Halloween for the first time. We went over to Lynndale to meet us with Gabor and his kids which we never did but we did enjoy going around there. They really did things up over there and there were lots of kids so it was really fun!! Encsi got the hang of it REALLY fast. A man in a vampire outfit tried to spook her and she laughed at him!

I went to vote. I took my new republican tech, Tracy from Texas and my ultra-conservative republican student Jess with me to early voting. They thought that 2 against my 1 might increase their chances. Ha!

On Nov 6th, Marilyn came to visit us for the evening. She had been canvassing in Raleigh for Obama and so when it was over she had some time to come see us. For those of you who don’t/wouldn’t know, Marilyn was a PhD student in Chuck’s lab when I was a post-doc out in Seattle. It was great fun seeing her and spending time catching up.

My dear friend Julie Ponthier (we went to grad school in New Orleans together) who lives in Australia now with her family called us out of the blue one night.  She has beautiful kids and a fabulous husband and we miss them terribly and were hoping to get to come and visit them but I’m not too sure about that for a while. We certainly live vicariously through them!

It has snowed here a couple of times recently. On Friday when I was taking the kids out to the van, we were out there a little early and so I told them to go out from under the carport and run around. They were thrilled and it was cute. My little southern babies!! Speaking of which, Rowan does immitate the accent scarily well. When you talk to me, ask me and I’ll tell you the story.

As for me, I am keeping busy. Things at work are shifting around a bit because 3 of the 4 new faculty members are here and the 4th is coming shortly. It is good to have new folks. They are all really bright and enthusiastic and so it will be fun to come up with new stuff to work on together.

My family is coming for Christmas and I’m REALLY excited about that. I haven’t seen my parents, sister-in-law, or nephews since February and so it will be wonderful to have them all here.

Anyway, I have to run now because Encsi just woke up and Jani is working today. Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts – I’m still drawing strength from you!

Big love to all of you!!

During the long time I have not written here I still haven’t been able to put all this mass to the proper shelf in my head.  I am struggling many times between feeling extreemly sorry for Jitka, and being very grateful for having her around.  I am still mad at the woman who hit her.  I am still mad at her for putting not only Jitka, but all four of us in this situation.  I am sorry for the kids that they can’t go hiking with mommy, I am sorry Jitka can’t feel the refreshing wind while running or biking.  I am sorry for every time I see her stretch from her wheelchair to reach something that is higher than 5feet.  I told her “she has legs until I have legs”, we share mine.  And I am sure if her health keeps OK, there will come a medical solution to this problem and she will walk again. Hopefully in five years, maybe in ten.  We just tough it out.  Walking is not the only thing that is missing from her life now.  But it sure would be nice to have.

I am gratefulRowan and Encsi have their mommy.  She is happy to take care of them.  I am so happy they are able to hug and kiss each other.  We grow older together this way,  we are all together.  Rowan said when I will have no more strength to lift mommy he will be very strong and will do all the work.  He even started eating like a champ for that very reason. 

Here I am worried about all of them all the time.  I guess this is something I haven’t learned how to overcome.  I sometimes wonder if it was the right decision to get a full time job at this time, when I could be so much help at home.  But then I remind myself the reason why I applied for this – , so it is O.K. 

I wish you to know I am not forgetting anybody’s kindness.  All those who helped and continue to help us, please know my heart goes out to you.  I love you.  And I love you my Luftika, Roro, and Encsi.

Greetings everyone.  Bob Lust writing….

About 5 or 6 weeks ago, as she approached the anniversary date of her injury, Jitka asked me to consider writing something for the blog.  My first reaction was actually surprise.  I’d become used to the idea that the blog was a place to go to for status updates while she was away, and it hadn’t really occurred to me that it was something ongoing now that she has been back.  I can verify that she is indeed back to work, hard-headed and stubborn as ever… she has resumed her practice of terrorizing the chairman on a regular basis!

A year is a lot of time to compress into a few words, but I’ll try and provide some snap-shots, some impressions, and perhaps those who know, or have known Jitka will see something in it that resonates with them.

Since the accident, all of us have seen the true measure of humanity that surrounds us… many of you reading this are part of it, although it seems that Jani and Jitka invoke a particular brand of generosity and kindness in others that is uniquely robust and truly remarkable to see.

It seems so long ago now that Jitka’s life was so suddenly changed, and yet it is clear that so many things are just beginning… Jitka is only recently an independent driver again, Jani (as of about 4 days ago) is a newly minted fireman with an honest to goodness steady job, Rowan has just started school, and so on…  Life has caught up to those free-spirits, as it inevitably will to us all, and Jitka has to come to grips with the fact that her vehicle is a VAN and not a sports car, that her recurring worries revolve around day care, that Jani has to worry more about structural concerns that don’t involve building the best chicken coop in the back yard, and so on and so on.   The ordinary concerns that exist for so many of us, that Jitka and Jani seemed to avoid so well, have become a greater reality for them as well.  On the other hand, they will still try and sort out daycare with live in teenage nannies recruited from Mexico, before those mundane ways the rest of us have had to address child care!

For me, I find great comfort that Jitka’s irrepressible nature is still present in her sense of humor.  If she thinks I’m having issues with anyone, she offers to run their toes over with her wheel chair!

One day, as we were walking out to her van, she had mentioned Kal, and I asked her how he had done on his boards.   She gave me this look, as if to say what are you talking about (actually she does that a lot!), and I mentioned that while Kal had been coming down to be with her, he was also preparing to take his sub-specialty board exams.  She kept giving me this look as if to say “surely you’ve lost your mind” since Kal had never mentioned it to her.  I said ‘did you ask?”, and she said something like “should I?”, to which I responded jokingly that “you know, not everything is always about you”, and we had a great laugh.

By the way Kal, congratulations!  Jitka did follow up and told me you’d done very, very well.

Just today, Jitka attended a doctoral thesis defense by one of our graduate students.  The topic of the work was spinal cord injury, and while I told her she didn’t need to be present if she wasn’t ready, she wanted to be there, and was able to handle some very graphic discussions of the consequences of spinal cord injury.  As a relatively recent survivor or a severe spinal cord injury, her emotional strength continues to amaze me.

It seems like little things, and the more I reflect, the more things creep in… in a moment of insanity, agreeing to keep her company by doing a 5K in wheel chair with her… her willingness to trust me helping her maneuver a chair up and down a curb so we could go to a reception… through it all, the humor is ever-present.  And now, as ever, she still can laugh at herself better than most people I’ve ever met.

There is melancholy as well… Sharing a laugh with Jitka now is little different than it was… the sense of humor is as edgy as ever, but now that the abdominal muscles aren’t there to support it, the deep, hearty, belly laugh has been replaced with a throaty chuckle. On the other hand, her face is even more expressive, as are her eyes.  In quiet moments, sometimes that air of invincibility so typical of Jitka now also has just of hint of vulnerability… but then she rams you with her wheel chair, and the moment passes.

I’m not sure how one commemorates an anniversary such as this, but I do know that my life, at least, continues to be enriched by having Jitka in it, and I am so pleased that she has been able to rebound as well as she has, and that she has chosen to return to work.

Now, if I could just get her to write those dang papers!!!

Bob

I know that many of you remember this better than I do. I know that you recall the feelings you had for many days that I have no memory of.  I have not seen my bike (a few pictures and even those made me cry) but today, to commemorate the event, Jani went to get it from Teresa and Dave’s garage. There were many thoughts on what to do with it:

-          to put it on the bridge at the accident site for the day

-          bury at least part of it in the backyard and plant flowers on it

-          send this poor Bear Valley Marin with Shimano parts and knobby tires to the metal yard

None of these happened. When I saw it all I could do was stare. It looked worse than the pictures. I cried a fair bit. Rowan told me not to be sad because he would buy me another one – an orange one! – with his piggy bank savings! Encsi patted me and said “awww mommy no crying”.  Jani didn’t want me to torture myself by dwelling on the past but rather concentrate on the future. But I needed to reflect today. I remember buying the yellow star hand grips. I remember Stefi bringing orange reflectors for the spokes from Germany (only the one on the front tire remains). Even though the yellow backpack had a big tear and was quite tattered and so I got rid of it, I still have the Deuter rainproof sheath she and Hans brought from Germany for me as well. Jani bought me a bell and a bigger softer seat when I got pregnant with Rowan because I rode until I was about 4 months pregnant and I couldn’t comfortably reach the handle bars anymore!  Anyway, we decided to keep it as it is for a while. Maybe it will come in handy for awareness education. Such a big part of my life I just can’t part with it. While this is an extremely emotionally taxing day for me (and the days leading up to this have admittedly been tough too), I have to balance it out by thinking of other things  – my unbelievable husband and precious children, my stupendous brother and parents, exceptional extended family members, fabulous old and new friends…all of you and your thoughts, love, and generosity that really have brought me to where I am. I could not have done it without you and I continue to progress because of you. Mon raison d’être! I can say thanks in a few languages, use lots of emphatic adjectives to drive home my sincerity, and wish away all the anguish you all have suffered along with me with every ounce of my being but none seem sufficient to express what I feel in my heart. Much love to all of you!! So while you are joining me in feeling sad for my loss today, please also join me in feeling happiness for what I have because I will continue to live heartily!

I have tons of other stuff to catch you up on but today is just not that kind of day.

Hello all, this is Kal. 

It has been a while since I have written on the blog.  I wish you all well.  What had initially begun as a way to communicate Jitka’s condition to everyone has since developed into so much more.  I remember, initially how difficult to type it was, through my blurry eyes.  It was better than speaking, which was impossible.  This blog became a way to share my thoughts and feelings…my prayers and fears, with everyone that I cared about-including myself.  Surprisingly, it seemed that the whole town (and country for that matter) caught onto the blog and I would get e-mail after e-mail from people whom we had never met offering help, prayer and encouragement.  This blog has transcended it’s capacity as simply a form of communication and has become an instrument displaying the goodness of humanity.  If anything positive has come of this situation, I think that we have learned low truly and intrinsically kind and generous people are.  

I am so glad that my fears were not realized and that Jitka is still with us.  She has come so far in the past year.  It seems that the time has flown.  She recently had a trip to a scientific meeting.  She wanted to go alone and stay by herself.  Just last week.  That’s when I realized that Jitka was getting back to herself!  You see, no matter how difficult something may be, if Jitka sets her mind to it, there is little hope of convincing her of otherwise.  Very loveably stubborn as how I would describe it.  A year out, and she is still making progress in leaps and bounds.

Well, what about me?  A year later I have learned some very important lessons.  For so long I was living to work.  Now I work to live.  So many times that I should have just taken time to go visit my sister and I thought that I just couldn’t get away.  No more-I have a second chance.  I will spend every moment with my wife, my children, my parents and my sister and her family and my friends that I can.  Everything else that we worry about; the job, the house, the bills, the 401K, are a waste of time.  So called stress.  Stress is fighting for your life.  Those other things are inconveniences.  I learned that there are some magnificent, selfless people in the world.  There is a large concentration of them surrounding Jitka!  Thank you so much for taking care of my sister.  

May God bless you all.  Gratefully, Kal

Dear all,

Everyone here is doing alright. Jani is making his way through the firefighter training and has one more month left. During this time he will have some state exams and once he passes those, he will be official. Rowan is really enjoying school and doing great. I would swear Encsi got taller over night last weekend and she is learning a bunch of new words each day. I know I say this every time I update the blog but I can’t stress enough how glad I am to be with them. They are such a source of happiness and peace to me in all this.

As far as my health goes, I am not feeling too hot these last few days because got a cold. I can’t cough the way I did when my diaphragm worked and my strength is low but Jani has really done a lot to keep the family operations going and given me lots of chances to rest so hopefully it won’t take weeks to get through it like it did when I was in the hospital. Otherwise, my fluid balance seems to be much improved since Khaled suggested that I increase my desmopressin does and at last check, my blood sodium was good.

Last Monday Sept 8^th was Bunko night. I have been very fortunate to be able join in the fun for a few of these nights at other people’s houses and the support and help I get from the ladies continues to amaze me. When I pull up, several women come out – a few grab the ramp from the back of the van and put it to the stairs while others help me into the house. Someone always makes sure that if I can’t get to something, they get it for me. I really enjoy these nights very much.

On Tuesday night there was a Rehab Social that the Outpatient Rehab clinic put on. People who had been patients there and their families were invite to come a visit with the wonderful folks who took such good care of them. I adore the people there and so it was a nice opportunity to visit with them.

On Saturday it was Rowan’s birthday and we needed to get some things at Sam’s club before people arrived. Before that, we went to a benefit at the Jaycee Park for the Dream Factory where the local firefighters and police were raising money by competing to see which organization could get more heads shaved! As it turns out, one of the firefighters’ wives recognized Jani and then me because she took care of me in the ICU. Her name was Kristen and she was a very energetic kind woman and was so glad to see me recovering so well. It was wonderful to hear. She encouraged me to go back to see the folks at PCMH because they would be glad to see how far I have come. Frankie and I have talked about this and I have wanted to go back since I got home but everytime I start to even talk about it I get overwhelmed with emotion. I don’t think that will change any time soon though and I would like to thank all the people that helped me and put up with me!

In the afternoon, we celebrated Rowan’s 5^th birthday with friends – Gabor and Judit came with their 3 kids Izzy, Vince, and Lily, Scot and Logan came, Penny brought her 2 girls Ana and Carla, Dave joined us, Shannon came with Daniel and Taylor, Tonya brought Jordan, and  Teresa and Dave joined in for a bit as well. It was a wonderful crowd and even though we asked people not bring stuff, they did anyway and of course, Rowan was very grateful for that. We all enjoyed it.

On Sunday, it was Estefania’s 19^th birthday. Jani BBQ’d, Gabor and Vince dropped by for a bit, and then Emilia sang a birthday song in Spanish and the rest of us sang Happy Birthday in English and celebrated with some cheesecake!

Tuesday night, Jani put me onto Encsi’s bed so I could snuggle with her before she went to sleep. Since she was still in the crib in the other house and graduated from the Pack and Play about 5 months ago, this was the first time I did this and it was wonderful. I really miss being able to do this kind of thing. The chair is not the warmest spot to snuggle.

As far as work goes, this week was busy.  I interviewed some people for a tech position in my lab. We had good applicants and so hopefully this issue will be resolved soon. In October, I will be serving on a grant review panel. Jani didn’t think I could pull off traveling on my own and was not happy about it. When he mentioned this to Teresa  and I explained what the plan was, she immediately offered to accompany me. This is a big relief to everyone since it is my first excursion not only away from home but away from Jani.  I don’t know how I have been so fortunate to have such wonderful people in my life.

Well, I realize this is a short addition but my head is not happy about looking at the computer screen and so I will try to rest a bit more before bathing and dinner rolls around so I can help with that.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Somethings I forgot to mention (you probably aren’t shocked by this. I know I’m not!):

If you see me driving and I don’t wave, it is because I need to use both my hands to drive – right for steering, left for the brake/gas!

If we don’t answer or return calls or e-mails in a timely fashion, it isn’t because we didn’t get them or don’t care – there just aren’t enough hours in the day! Thank you for thinking of us when you do and please keep trying!

Dearest Friends and Family,

I have a chance to write today as tropical storm Hanna cruises to the west of us. Fortunately, the only thing that happened to us was that we were without power for a couple of hours this morning (Saturday). Jani was called in to back up the regular staff because they went to other places to help out and so we was gone for about 24h. With the help of Emilia and Estefania, and Rowan being a big boy helper, we managed just fine.

Once again, I have much to tell you about and all are very important and special to me so no particular order.

My health – fluid management seems much better since dr. kal recommended to increase the dose of ddAVP. I had a blood draw on Friday and so we’ll see how my serum sodium is fairing. No sense of smell yet. Strength and independence are good – got put to the test Friday night because Jani had to go to work and then be at the fire station all night. I did all the transfers I needed to do on my own (my soldier helped me of course!) and did not kiss the floor! Whohooo!!!

So I left you last by saying that my good friend Hope and her family were going to spend a week at Nags Head and the following weekend (Labor Day) Khaled was coming to visit….

It was so great to see them all and to meet Carmen (15 mo) for the first time. She and Encsi played and the boys all romped in the water and had a blast. Hope and I have known each other for about 20 years and so it was really wonderful to spend time with someone who just gets it. Her husband Jay is awesome (they have been together since high school) and their kids are absolutely gorgeous and sweet. It was a short visit but wonderful!

As I have mentioned before, we all endure hardship of various forms. It is how we cope with it – live our lives and appreciate what we have – that determines the quality with which we spend our days. There are not too many people I know that don’t have some reason to be bitter if they chose to be. The fact that they aren’t is because of their strength of character and the love they have from  and for so many. I am lucky to be part of such a fabulous group of people.

Khaled’s visit was WAY too short but of course really tremendous. I was able to drive the van to the Raleigh airport to pick him up and so I felt a good feeling of accomplishment not to mention I was ecstatic to have him here for the long weekend! Saturday we took him to the beach and I’m pretty sure I was the envy of all that could see – Jani picked me up and Khaled took the tube to the water and they both held onto me so the waves wouldn’t roll and toss me around. I was in heaven!!!

Sunday I was “assisted” (did I mention that I have a really handsome Hungarian crane?) onto the 4-wheeler and got to ride my brother around – up the street, through the trees….as  much as it is not our style, we enjoyed the time together! He told me it smelled like pine.

Monday was a chill day. Jani made us all a nice breakfast of fresh eggs and then Scot and Logan came to join in the fun for a bit. Jani took Rowan and Logan on the 4-wheeler together and drove them around the yard. After lunch, we got into the van and drove uncle Khaled back to the airport. Mommy cried. Can’t even think about it now. We have been close for many years now but for those of you who know both of us, you know how important we are to each other. I am so lucky to have such a wonderful brother. It is amazing he still speaks to me considering that I was such a terrible big sister when we were younger (we are almost 6 years apart)!!

Tuesday morning I had an appointment with Dr. Reeg and the x-rays show that everything is good.  He checked my spine and my hip where the donor site is and fortunately, I don’t have any pain.  We had a very good discussion about the advances in science and technology.  I told him about the ReWalk.  The week before, Shaun Reece had forwarded this link to Mike VanScott and wasn’t sure about forwarding it to me because he didn’t know how sensitive I am about this. In fact, I think this is phenomenal and so I immediately forwarded it to many people.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1049215/Paralysed-man-walks-thanks-Robocop-style-exoskeleton.html?printingPage=true

The responses were rapid, many, and VERY enthusiastic! Thanks everyone! I told Maureen, Neil, and others that I am going to wait for the submersible version!

See it in motion here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQRQs-N-ZIM

Since then, I have found many other sites that talk about this and the idea is that it will be miniaturized to fit under clothing. So no more leather pants I guess! (BTW, I don’t own any but someday I might!). Seriously though, between the love that I get from all of you, and the science and technology that I know is in progress, it will be interesting to see what happens in the next decade. The orange chair is temporary I am certain!! The fact that this will cost around $20k and my chair was $6k is astounding.

In that line of though, I want to tell you about some of the wonderful people I have in my corner. So many have told me that I have been in their dreams and they have seen me walk or that they are impressed by my strength and have watched my recovery – a friend of mine from Kingston, Christine Overvelde, Frank and Linda VanHal who keep tabs on me like I am one of their own, our kind minister neighbor Mr. Gunn, a friend of mine from New Orleans, Andy Pellet, an ICU nurse that took care of me that I ran into in the elevator, Kay, the Garcias in Houston, Yehia Sirry and family in Toronto that have been friends of our family for probably 50+ years, Cheryl from the Emergency admin department that offered to help me up the incline to the door of Brody, family and friends of my brother and Mervie, family and friends of Jani’s in Hungary and around the world, my mom’s family and their friends in the Czech Republic….the list is really amazing – many hundreds. It makes me truly glad when people like Kay and Cheryl tell me who they are so I can thank them personally. From people I have known since I was a kid to people that met me because of the accident to people that my know my family and friends but have never even met me, the care and support I am still getting continues to be overwhelming. Thank you.

On that thread, Christine asked me why I feel my recovery has been so rapid and excellent. It is because I am so very fortunate to be in the hearts of so many from different faiths and beliefs that the energy I receive through all of you is immense. Thank you for helping to heal me.

I have been asked a few times what the worst thing is about this situation and many have commented that I don’t seem angry. The worst thing is not being able to show affection the way I was used to. The anger…well, there isn’t time and I don’t want to waste what time I do have.  I was a lively person before and I am grateful to be the person in my heart and mind that I was before.  My kids need me this way and I think it would be selfish to wallow. Life is awesome and I want them to grow up experiencing that. I won’t lie and say that I am not frustrated by all this. I certainly have my moments. The life I have is something I deeply treasure and the love from family and friends is integral.

The rest of the week was very good. Jess had her first committee meeting on Wednesday and did very well.  We might have to alter some things depending on how doable the first part is but that is the nature of the beast! She is a hard worker and loves the project and so I think that it will be productive. I enjoy being a mentor for her. I was lucky to have an outstanding graduate school mentor, Dr. Kathleen McDonough at LSUHSC, so I try very hard to emulate her.

I had lunch with Rukiya VanDross and Audrey Jenkins and had great talks with them. They were part of one of the crews that came to the new house to help get things ready for me to come home. They told me how nice of an environment it was because there were so many people that didn’t know each other but everyone was so kind. I am so much more than grateful to Jani, Dave, Teresa, the Maas family, and so many others that coordinated and were part of this effort.  

So I got some help from Jas (Emily’s techie hubbie who has pretty good hygiene for a computer geek btw!) in figuring out how to upload the pictures. They made it to the admin part of the site but apparently there are other steps I need to take to make them viewable to all of you. I will get there soon! I am adding about 20 more that go with this so there a lots!

Lastly, I want to tell you that I have asked Bob, Khaled, and Jani to come back online and write a few words to all of you when the one year anniversary of this chaos comes on October 19th and they have all agreed. I am planning to ask my parents too.  They have been through so much. As a parent, I know this would be much harder. The support they tell me about from Wolfe Islanders who ask them about me means a lot to me and I know it means a lot to them. I just can’t imagine what things would be like without.

So with that, I will end this installment. My sweetest angel baby Rowan will be turning 5 next Saturday and so next time you will hear all about the party we are having for him (and all the things I that I will remember that I forgot this time!) Until then, I send much love to all of you who continue to keep me in your heart and mind!

So I TOTALLY lose to the brain damage. I forgot a bunch of important things. I uploaded pix of it (that you can’t see yet because I’m technologically challenged and can’t figure out how to make them visible to you!) but I  forgot to say that our sweet little beauty Encsi turned 2 on July 24th! One of the pix is of the cake that Emi, Rowan, and Encsi decorated and the other is of her picking the piece up off her plate with her hand (the fork is in the other hand but clearly doesn’t provide the same level of gratification as shoving it in her face with her chubby little paw!).

Another thing I forgot is to write to find out who that generous person is that has an automatic deposit into the Recovery Fund each month? All deposits are anonymous so please let me know so I can at least thank you!
Another thing I forgot is that when I have gone to the store with the family, whether it be Sam’s or Harris Teeter, Rowan usually rides around in my lap (I think I mentioned this before because I LOVE having him close and kiss his beautiful head as often as I like without having to catch him!). But the point I wanted to make is how every time we are out, someone comments on how lucky he is to have such a nice ride. I hope those people can see the gratitude in my eyes!
Yet another thing I forgot to mention are more folks that I am grateful to for their thoughts and help  – our neighbors on MacGregor Downs, the Adamses, and our neighbors up the street, the Barrows. Mr. Barrow made a scrap book for me. I never knew about the note that went to all our neighbors. Mrs. Barrow was a teacher at the school Rowan is going to tomorrow for the first time. She has had great things to say about the people there and so that reduces my anxiety a little!
The beach yesterday was awesome. It was a perfect day and it was fabulous to see Hope and her wonderful family. The boys all played in the water together and the girls hung out on the beach and watched to make sure no one got washed away! Carmen is a sweet little girl and watching Encsi and Carmen play (well, Encsi being 6 mo older and more Sumo in build was more boss than companion but did have several hugs for her and gave her juice!) was quite funny. That little girl means the world many people.  And it was great to see that the whole extreme daddy’s girl syndrome is not only in Encsi and Jani’s case!
Anyway, once I get a handle on my stress over Rowan going to school, I’ll let you know how he does!

Good night!

Dear all,

I have not dropped off the face of the earth – you should know by now it takes quite a lot to slow me down!! Things are going great but only getting busier. I am striving to be more and more independent all the time but things do go a little more slowly. Anyway, lots to tell! and I hope the pix show up!

So I will start with my health: My strength and stamina are improving (this could have a bit to do with the fact that the Olympics are going!). My sense of smell has still not returned. My fluid balance issues still cause me trouble but I am learning to listen to my body much more closely and so I think that I am getting better about managing this problem. My brother and Dr. Brinn, our wonderful family physician, are certainly instrumental in this. A few days ago (Aug 19^th) was the 10 month anniversary of all this chaos. My sense of self, purpose, love of life and family, and love and support I receive from SO many dear people gets more intense each day. These things continue to fuel my strength and stamina.

I will do my best to recap the last month ⁺ events to catch you up (this is a true test of my brain function!)….

On July 18^th, Emilia arrived from Hermisillo, Mexico. Her father came with her and we were instantly like family. Language is no barrier for the heart!!! She is great with the kids and seems to be managing being away from loved ones pretty well. I am sure that having her friend Estefania (who arrived Aug 11^th) helps a lot! They are going to learn English here and possibly take some other courses as part of the exchange. They do lots of fun things with the kids – play volleyball and soccer, dance, art projects, read books, play swords (of course!)….the main thing is that the kids are happy. The girls also do a lot of extra things to help out around the house and so it really is like having more family! We might even consider sharing Estefania so give us a call!!!

A few weeks ago (I think it Friday July 25^th) a youth group of 23 people from the Mennonite faith came to groom our house and yard. It was quite a spectacular whirlwind! In just short of an hour, the women cleaned all the windows inside and out, wiped off counters, shelves, dusted the blinds, and things inside while the men outside cut the grass, trimmed the bushes, and edged the grass everywhere. It was something. An extremely kind and selfless group of people. I didn’t get to thank each one in person but I talked to a few and thanked as many as I could catch up with! Some of the photos should give you an idea of what the experience was like. Huge thanks to David and Jolene for bringing this group to help us out!!

Last week I took Rowan to his school to meet his Kindergarten teacher and have some testing. She meets with each child individually to see what level they are coming in at. He was very reluctant to leave my side (to the point of sneaking to the opposite side of my chair and placing a white knuckle grip on my armrest!) but about 40 min later he came back with Mrs. Uebler with a big grin and kind of skipping (hard to tell with those long gangly legs!). Anyway, he starts this Tuesday and so even though he looks forward to it when we talk about it, the fact that one parent will not be going to with him and that it is a new environments and lots of new people will take some time to get used to. I talked with Mrs. Buck the secretary there the entire time Rowan was with Mrs. Uebler and she probably doesn’t know it but the fact that she engaged me in conversation totally distracted me from my anxiety about worrying about Rowan. Really kind people there. I got a very good feeling about them and I am so very glad to be here to see this day, despite the fact that it means my baby is growing up!!! Sigh……….

A few weeks ago I got a new cell phone too so you might get a pic or a text from that – 252-412-8216 (Jani is -8126). Unfortunately, when they tried to move my phonebook over from the old phone, everything was gone and so I am starting from scratch. So don’t be shy about calling to get reconnected so I can bug you when I get a chance!

July 10^th I had a meeting with Christine, a reporter from the Mission – the ECU publication. She wanted to do a story about my recovery and return to work. As strong as I think and try to be, trying to speak about this and the incredible support network I have makes for a huge lump in my throat (hard to imagine me not being able to speak – I know!) and welling up of tears. I am sure that she will do a great job and I look forward to seeing the article which I think should be coming out very soon. Cliff Hollis, the photographer, came over and took pix of Jen Lust and I talking about some work that we are doing with Mark Mannie and so I have posted a couple of those as well for your viewing pleasure!

A few weeks ago I got to meet with Liz Jonhston and Griffen Avin who will be managing all the adjustments to the lab I need to get back to doing hands-on research. They gave me an adjustable height table to try out I was able to work without too much difficulty. I am very happy about this! They are also working on getting automatic doors so I don’t have to bulldoze my way in, adjusting a sink so I can use it more effectively, modifying the room so I can get around, and working with me on a few other things that will really make things easier for me. They are wonderful jovial people and I am very glad to have their knowledgeable and creative assistance in this!

So many of my friends are in touch and I try to respond in a timely fashion but don’t always succeed – the Betties, Julie Ponthier in Australia, Mandy, Lori, and the Soules in Kingston, Isa, Hans, the Murrys in Seattle, Jude and Drew in DC…..I know that you all know you are in my thoughts more often than I have a chance to tell you.

There are so many Brody people I have chatted with and everyone is so kind and I am learning a lot actually through even short exchanges with people like Ruth Schwalbe, Dave Taylor, Phil Pekala, Mark Mannie, Pam the secretary in Pharm, Kathy Verbanac, Ann Sperry, Yan-Hua Chen, Irene Hamrick, Ruth Ann Hendrickson, Mary Jane Thomassen, Rachel Roper….all the women at the BWFC, especially those that were there at the meeting on 8/19. I have heard many times that several of the BWFC members including Elaine Cabinum-Foeller have really pushed hard for bicycle safety and that there will be extensive bike paths in a few years. That will really be great…and hopefully those many people I see riding around who don’t wear helmets will use them!! I am looking forward to working with Janet Malek this year as program co-chairs for this group.

As far as lab stuff goes – the summer has wound down. Classes are back in session and so Jon DeAntonio has gone back to school. Jen Lust will stay with us since she is going to school here. Unfortunately, our tech left a few weeks ago and so we are looking for another person and the job description will be posted soon on the ECU website. Jess is working on her thesis proposal to present to her committee, Sept 3^rd and so hopefully we’ll get the green light to move forward. She is working very hard and so I think we will get some interesting stuff soon.

Brook and Drew Cathey came into the Phys dept this week to introduce us to their new firstborn, Ben. I was fortunate enough to hold all of 7.5 pounds of him for a few minutes. Wow you forget how small they are! What really stuck with me about that was how beautiful life is. Cherish each moment because we don’t get time back. In the words of Scot Reeg, “kids are so cool!” Indeed. Even though there are things I used to do that I may not be able to do again like ice skating with Rowan, kicking a ball around, running with them, trekking though the trees, etc and there are things that I want to do with them in the future that I may not be able to do like hiking and skiing, I am determined to give my kids a full life and expose them to as many possibilities as I can. What I can’t accomplish with my legs I will accomplish with my will!! Speaking of strong will, Jani is continuing to work hard to get through the firefighter training program. He is about 4 months into the 6 and he is hanging in there! He is enjoying what he is learning and the people he works with and meets and so I am happy for him. They continue to work them like teenagers and so I am really happy that he is so healthy and fit!

So, something I thought would never happen – we bought a 4 wheeler last weekend. I am not thrilled about it but what I am REALLY THRILLED about is getting back into the trees – the whole reason we bought the property back here in the first place. I just wish I could smell. Too bumpy for a chair but not for a Honda Recon!! Needless to say, Rowan is the happiest about this. My parents on the other hand….

Tomorrow we will get to see Hope Campbell and her family in Nags Head – Jay her husband, Ayden and Jed and Carmen – their gorgeous kids. I am excited since I have not yet met Carmen. I have known Jay and Hope since high school when I moved to Kingston, Ontario. She has always been very kind to me and continues to be one of those wonderfully supportive people.

Next Friday Khaled is coming to visit for the Labor Day weekend!! I am really excited about this of course. I am planning to drive the van myself to the airport so he will get to ride in style! I know he is really excited about this.

So one last thing – I will officially go back to full time status and convert to the tenure-track as of Sept 1 (my clock starts next July1). I am really so very glad to be back in action! I am going to get back to teaching soon too – a lecture to the PA students this fall and the med + grad students in the spring and so I am looking forward to that very much.

I stopped here because Jani and the kids came home from shopping (lunchtime too!) and Dave Lever had just pulled up. He came to mow our lawn. I told him he must be telepathic. I had been looking out the window this morning wishing I could go out there and push our mower around….

Thank you so much for believing in me and still reading this! I am really sorry for not posting anything for so long but it has been a VERY BUSY couple of weeks! I don’t think I can manage a daily account and so I’m going to hit the highlights. But first, my health.

Physically things have been a little more challenging in the last 10 days. I am currently feeling a but chilly but I came home from work mid-morning to rest and so hopefully things will get better fast. Mostly I have been feeling better as far as stamina goes except for yesterday and today really. I really hope it gets better by tomorrow because I have a date with my husband tomorrow night. Our 6th anniversary is coming up on the 20th.

On June 28^th the Greenville Jaycees held a 5k race – the Flat Out 5k and they put my story up to theme the event: S.A.F.E. – Streets Are For Everyone. It was a great day, hot of course, but the route was pretty – from Town Commons to East Campus and back. Bob Lust’s wife Carol borrowed a wheelchair for him and he did the 5k with me, although he propelled himself all the way whereas I had help from my co-pilot! Rowan came with us. When we got to the finish, there were still a bunch of people there and they cheered me on. It was a sensational feeling to be welcomed that way. I got to see a lot of wonderful people too – my rehab group plus others from the day rehab clinic formed a team called Rehab Magic and they had shirts made for the event. How cool is that!!?!?! Penny sent me some incredible pictures I am going to share too. Bob Lust, Jen Lust, Teresa Lever, Jess Dries, Sonja Bareiss, Jani, Rowan, and I were all on a team but since word got out that we were going by the name Team Determination (courtesy of the graduation certificate I got from Shephard – they called me Dr. Determination), I think a bunch of other people must have registered under that name because Barbara Muller-Borer and her busband Mike came, Maria Collins was there, Mark Mannie joined in, Kip Byrum, Cindy Kukoly too….and there were so many others that it chokes me up still to recall.  Our team was apparently large enough to get us the prize for largest team!! One of the nurses who helped take care of me here came and introduced herself to me – Allison. And she was there before and after the race. The support from people is truly remarkable and I hope you all know how very much it means to me.

On July 7^th my R01 grant resubmission was due I actually managed to revise it and get it in just in the nick of time.  This is a major accomplishment and took all I had but I was determined to get it done and not wait until the next cycle in November. Since your thoughts out there have been so powerful in keeping me alive and helped so much in my recovery, if you can put some energy into hoping I get at least a score again so I can continue doing what I love, that would work for sure!!!

On Tuesday July 8th, I picked up Rowan from daycare a little early and took him to the theater to see WALLE. We had a really nice afternoon together. One of these days I will tell the story about the tube at the beach. These kids are my soul. Encsi is going to be 2 in 2 weeks. I am so happy to be here to be with them and see them grow. They are spectacular.

On July 10^th a reporter from out internal publication called the Mission came by to interview me to do a piece on my recovery and return to work. It was a very emotional conversation but I am really glad for the opportunity to reach out to the Brody community this way. I meet people in the elevator and hallways but since I have been so busy trying to get on top of things, I haven’t made my way around to thank people. Additionally, I don’t remember much at all about being in the hospital here and so I don’t remember people and so when they approach me like Allison did, I am so happy to thank people in person. I am sure Christine will be able to put into words what I still get teary and speechless (I know – this is hard to believe!) about – the support from so many people for so much. I told her that I can’t find words to express how I feel and so I might just have to make some up! I said that I haven’t been back to the hospital to thank the people there either. I want to but I don’t feel like I can do it alone. One day soon Jani and I will go together.  We have a woman coming next Friday to live with us to look after the kids. Since Rowan will be going to school in the fall, Emilia will mostly be with Encsi but she will be here when the bus brings Rowan home around 3pm. We have communicated with her quite a bit and she seems like a very kind woman and she is young so I hope she will have lots of energy for our young ‘uns!  I just talked with my brother and he is thinking about coming for Labor day weekend for a visit and so maybe I’ll ask them both to come with me then. Considering that I heard that I was not an easy patient (apparently not speaking was good!) I’m sure that most people will be happier to see Jani and Khaled anyway!

So, I am going to work on getting a bunch of pictures uploaded to share with all of you and catch up with so many other life things – reach out to friends that I haven’t contacted in ages because I have been wringing my brain cells into that grant!

So, to all of you who are following my recovery, you are wonderful. Thanks is a weak word and so if anyone has any ideas about a new word I could use, please let me know!!

Have a wonderful weekend!!

Dear all,

I thank all of you who are still reading this. So many people have been commenting to me that they have followed and still do follow this blog. My sister-in-law was telling me about her co-workers who check up on me and talk to her about it. There are SO many people who are looking out for me because they care not only about me but my relatives who have been affected by all this as well.  My gratitude for your thoughts and wishes is boundless. My thanks for supporting those I love is….well, the lump in my throat doesn’t allow me to say how intensely I feel about it without totally cracking. Thank you.

Things are going alright. Last week I was able to spend a lot more time at work than I have previously and I am glad for that. Although being there reminds me of how much catching up there is left to do and so trying to move forward is like rolling up a steep incline  - laborious, challenging, and frustrating because I  see where I need to be and I know I could get there faster if I had the “tools”. But I’m doing the best I can.

Physically: My fluid management is getting better. My strength is improving. I miss my therapists at rehab though. My anterior pituitary decided it would listen to my hypothalamus and my ovary and uterus didn’t want to be left out and so now I get to experience some femalehood again. Although I have to admit that if it weren’t for the typically “brain symptoms” (moodiness, tiredness, etc…OK I’ll give in – crabbiness!!!), I wouldn’t have known it was coming. So, I can attest to the fact that PMS is not a figment of the female imagination!  Anyway, things are taking a bit longer but anything that was normal before is welcome back. Other things haven’t changed – my smell has not yet returned. Now my jasmine flowers are gone and that makes me sad. I hope that sense comes back soon – I really miss the scents of my kids and my husband. I believe that how I perceive my senses makes me feel alive. I guess since I can’t feel with most of my body, I just want to have that extra sense to be able to devour them as much as possible.  Fortunately, I have other senses to work with and so being able to hear them, see them, and hug them makes this tolerable.

Saturday was fun but in a bittersweet way. Jani and I took Rowan to Jumpin’ Monkey to wish Elliot a happy birthday and bid farewell to the Abbott family who is moving away this week. Of course we wish them the best and know they will be in good hands since they will be closer to family but we will miss them something fierce. Dr. Susan has looked after us as if we were kin. Good souls. 

Apparently this party was another example of how small my world is now.  My friend Cindy from Ionia Michigan who I have been in touch with a bit here and there and moreso lately (and just found out that her family is 3.5 hours away in SC!) sent me a note saying that she knew I was at that party because of friend of her husband’s was there too. Unfortunately, Eric Frank and I didn’t recognize each other (her and Karl were a few years ahead of us in high school) but hopefully I will get to see all of them in a few weeks!

Anyway, I have to run to get myself together and get to work but I just wanted you all to know that I am so glad that my heart and brain are doing what they used to. With the support and encouragement of so many fabulous people, more will heal. Please keep believing for me.

BTW - Yesterday, Khaled and Mervet celebrated their 9th wedding anniversary and their middle child Kyan turned 4 too! I love them so much.

Dear all,

This has been a really great week!! And today is a fabulous Father’s Day!!  Happy Father’s Day to all you daddies out there and to the dads of all my wonderful family and friends!!

Every morning I have been up to see the kids off – I wave to them and blow kisses to their smiling faces. I am so glad that they like going to Child Time now. Rowan always talks about how much he likes Miss Sierra, Miss Alma, and Miss Pat. Encsi is putting multiple words together all the time these days. Most people wonder if their kids don’t speak when they think they should. What do you do with 2 that don’t shut up!!?!?!? It is really great. I adore them.

Although Jani and the kids have colds, their spirits have been good. Hopefully my system will evade this bug! (this was written earlier in the week – they are all doing much better and I still have no sign of it – yay!)

It has been a week of many “firsts” but some are kind of personal so I won’t share all but here are some: I was work every day!!  Bob Lust moved the fridge and microwave from my van into my office yesterday on Tuesday.  People are happy that my stinky lunches will be kept in my domain (curry and pad thai stink?!)! The main reason for this equipment is so that I will have the intranasal desmopressin on hand and also when I need to heat something, I won’t burn myself carrying it on my lap or spill it everywhere. Krista made me a couple of trays with Dycem on the top and bottom so it won’t slide around and things on it won’t slide either.  I hadn’t seen this stuff before but I love it and I also love the edges (thanks Chris and Winnie). Now I can carry stuff on so I won’t burn myself and things won’t slide off my lap and so I am set!

I managed to get my hair cut on Tuesday. It was good to see Jackie (Practicality).  I’ve been going there since I moved here and so she has seen me 23 months pregnant and she has met the little monsters too!  Anyway, she seemed pretty happy to see me – she hugged me like a sister. A few tears were shed. It is still tough to have people see me like this and obviously hard for people who knew me before to see me like this.  Knowing that people keep me in their thoughts is more valuable than I can say.  Plus she did a great job on my new short do – no surprise there! She always took good care of me in that regard!

I have had some very nice interactions with many ECU people this week too – Mike VanScott, Dick Ray, Deirdre Mageean, Ruth Schwalbe, Ching from Pharmacology, and Pui-Nn Ho, a medical student who spent her first summer in my lab came by my office to visit with me. People of all walks offer to help me any way they can. And as I say to all who tell me it is good to see me, it is great to be seen!! I don’t remember anything about most people visiting but now knowing that they did I am indebted.  Ruth Ann Hendrickson visited many times too and still keeps her eye on me. I have such an incredible battalion of people looking out for me so THANK YOU!!!!!

To boot, the Flat Out 5k I have mentioned previously, Bob Lust has offered to cruise with me in a wheelchair! I am pretty excited about that for many reasons.  

No one has told me yet who put up the get well sign on the road where the accident occurred. If you know, please send me a message!

Friday was a very productive and bonding day. In the morning, I went to work and resubmitted out first manuscript to Cardiovascular Research. Keep you fingers crossed for us! At lunch, I went to pick Rowan up from Child Time and we met daddy at Coldstone for ice cream.  Then I took Rowan for a Wendy’s cheeseburger and fries and then later to go see Kung Fu Panda. It was a very nice afternoon.

Saturday was good too. We tried to go strawberry picking at Briley’s but the season must be over already. Oh well, blueberries will be easier for me to pick if someone can park me next to a bush!! Then we went to Sam’s club, and then home and then we all had a good nap! Encsi slept for 4 hours!! In the afternoon, Gabor and his kids came to hang out a bit. After the kids were fed and bathed, Jani and Rowan and I stayed up late and watched Indiana Jones. I told him I would take him to the new movie if he liked it but when the German guy drank from what he thought was the wrong holy grail and vaporized on his skeleton, that was enough to scare Rowan off of Indie for a while!!

Now is a rainy Sunday morning. Jani and I were up early and got to have croissant and coffee together at 6:30 before children awoke. Rowan was awake first but a cartoon took care of him for a few minutes. Then Encsi didn’t wake up until 8am. Now they have been fed and are playing but every couple of minutes they want attention from one of us and so I am going to sign off.  Jani is messing with stuff – the alarm system, replacing air filters, dumping laundry on the bed for me to fold….it is father’s day though and so I will just smile and be glad that we have such a good daddy! And so now I’m going to hang with the kids and call my daddy and uncle Kal to wish them the best father’s day too!!

One more thing though – I keep hearing from people that they do keep up with this blog to see how we’re doing and I am very glad for that (although I have to admit it feels a bit weird to write to the internet that doesn’t reply!). If anyone has questions that you think I should address, please don’t hesitate to let me know.  As far as my health goes, I feel better and I am getting stronger but my sense of smell hasn’t returned and my pituitary is still misbehaving.

One more quick thing – so Jani is messing wit the alarm system and so some loud ones went off (we were warned) and when Jani turned it off, Rowan said “that scared the eyeballs out of me!”  How funny is that?!?! I had a mental image of a cartoon character with his eyeballs 3 feet out infront of  him while his body was already turned in the other direction to scram!!!

Anyway, gotta go!! I still haven’t had a chance to ask Vince about the pix but I promise I’ll get to that soon!

Well, last week was certainly better than the previous one physically.  My sense of smell is not back yet and my pituitary is still malfunctioning.  Healing is still going on though so keep hoping with me! Psychologically, the week was more challenging. Friday was my last day of therapy.  I think it many ways it is time for me to move ahead and try stuff on my own as my strength continues to improve, the rehab folks have been truly instrumental in acquiring the abilities I have now. Not only that, they are really good people and I feel fortunate to have had their kindness and intelligence working so hard for me! As much as I had separation anxiety for this event, I am more at peace knowing that I can go back to them if I need to. As Dave put it, it is another chapter closing. Sigh.

Fortunately, I have my family to keep me busy and entertained! Jani continues to be the positive presence. The kids continue to grow and get more beautiful each day. Jani put us all in the pool yesterday. Now that 100+ degrees is the norm, it is a relief! Rowan paddles and splashes around and Encsi is pretty brazen in it considering that the water comes up to her chest! With daddy around, there really is nothing to fear (except for him when he is angry!)!

Encsi was so sound asleep this morning that even mommy was up and rolling before she was awake.  So I got to go to her room and see her sleeping. Such a wonderful sight! I took pictures of course!! Rowan has been getting better about parting in the morning and even on Mondays. Although he did ask yesterday, “mommy, does Friday come after Tuesday?’ don’t we wish the work week was 3 days long and the weekend was 2!!

So now, what do I do to ease the pain of no therapy? I bury myself in work! I have a TON of stuff to do and there are still parts that I am trying to catch up on so I can not only be up to speed, but also get a few steps ahead of the game (needs to be done to be successful in this line of work!).  So today I am working on resubmitting a manuscript and will concentrate on the grant resubmission from now until July5th. From here on out, I am planning to be at work everyday and hopefully most of those days.  We just bought a mini-fridge/freezer and a microwave for me to keep in my office so I can keep my intranasal desmopression (has to be refrigerated and I have to take it at 6am, 2pm, and 10pm) and food/drink in my office.  Getting back to normal life (well, mostly)! I also bought a ramp to put in the back of the van so that when I go to people’s houses that have steps (most do here since we’re on pocosin wetland) so hopefully I’ll be able to get to more Bunko nights!

I am looking forward to visitors later this summer too. Hope and Jay and their kids are planning to come by when they come down for a vacation at the outer banks in August. Cindy and Karl and their kids and hopefully Cathleen and her family will join us too for a weekend in July or August. 

The news of the flat out 5k that the Jaycees are putting on here in Greenville to benefit burn victims and to help me out too this year has spread like wildfire.  Jani, Teresa, Dave, and Claire have worked to put this together. I put the website link up on the last posting but in case you can’t find it, it is www.flatout5k.com.  The theme this year is S.A.F.E – Streets Are For Everyone.  This will be grueling physically and emotionally but it is yet another example of how many people have come together to help out and support me and apparently, since I am stubborn (I keep hearing this and I’m not sure if it is good but I am still here so I hope so!!), I intend to be there and if it takes me all day to cross the finish line, so be it!. Overwhelming doesn’t even come close to describing how it feels to have so many people reach out to me.

A story that I want to share from my stay at Shepherd:

I had a very nice visit from some old friends from Seattle (they just moved to Minneapolis) Dave and Nicole Nuckley. We went to the Atlanta art museum and then they joined the McDevitts and my family for dinner in the family recreation room. They brought many treats from Seattle (I had to hide some to keep others away from!) like smoked salmon, chocolate covered cherries, choclate covered almonds….mmmmmmmmm. It was awesome to have them visit and to catch up on Tama and Jerrod and Isabelle, and Priscilla and Jeremy. Thanks again for coming out of your way to see me and spend time with all of us!! I hope you are enjoying Minneapolis!

If you are still reading this blog, thank you. I feel good to be able to share these experiences with you and know that you care to read them. I am getting stronger all the time and even though there are ongoing battles, the love and support I have from my family and friends is phenomenal. I wish all those that suffer adversity would have the network that I have. The world would be a better place. I know that many of my friends and family have suffered and I hope that I have been there for them a fraction of the way they are here for me now.

So with that, I wish you all a Happy Monday and hope the week goes well!

I just wanted to pass this along and thank everyone involved in advance.  If anyone in interested in participating remotely, I understand that that is a possibility also. The therapists here at the PCMH Rehab outpatient clinic are putting a team together! I am planning to do this too!! The support continues to be truly overwhelming.

http://www.flatout5k.com/

Hi all! Once again too much going on to write about everything but I’m going to try! Last week was not good physically for a couple of reasons but I’m not going to go into those boring details other than that I got some virus Wednesday evening that kicked my butt through Friday and so I stayed in bed all day Friday. I felt better over the weekend, relapsed yesterday, but today was pretty good again so I hope it stays like this and continues to improve.

In other respects it was very good. I got to see Dr. Reeg on Tuesday morning. My spine looks fine so I am healing.  I felt stronger after seeing him. Hard to explain in words.

I rally want to thank our sweet neighbors Gary and Mac for all the bunches of daffodils that decorated our kitchen this spring.

Jani is hanging in for the firefighter training. It is a workout physically and intellectually but he is still working hard at it and enjoying what he is learning.  The kids are doing better now with the daycare thing. Not sick and not crying when they get dropped off so that makes life more pleasant for all of us. This morning Rowan woke up on his own all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. Both kids were happy, ate, kissed mommy, and hopped in the car. I feel MUCH better about it when they are like that.

As for me, I am trying to get to work more. Still working around some logistics but hopefully everything will get worked out in time.

I’m sorry for this being so short but I’ll try to go into more detail next time!

OK – this covers the last 10 days so hold on!!!

Does anyone know who put the sign on the road where the accident happened to wish me well (I never got to see it because it was up while I was in PCMH/Shepherd but I heard about it)? If so, could you please tell me so I can thank them?

So today (when I started writing this) is Monday May 19^th.  Poor Rowan had a fever all weekend and so he is home with mommy right now. I took him to see Dr. Susan this morning and she made him feel better because he didn’t have to have any shots.  Hopefully it isn’t anything serious but we’ll see how things go in the next few days. He gave Dr. Susan 2 hugs and she gave him two stickers – Batman and Spiderman. I was glad to have been able to take him there and have her see him.

I would like to send a special thanks to Bardia Askari, Steve Berard, and the Murrys for throwing a benefit auction for me at Kate’s Pub in Seattle.  The people at Kate’s were very generous in their donation of the space and Kate and Eric put their tips into the pile as well. This was Steve’s brainchild (as Bardia calls it – that means a lot coming from him because my sense is that he thinks most of humankind is clueless) and the Murrys have always been very generous in spirit and in addition to having contributed tons to the recovery fund, I am extremely grateful to have them in my life. Thanks so very much all of you. I appreciate all of you tremendously.

As few more things I have been thinking about lately…

I was a bit cryptic about the emotional experience at therapy last week but I am going to share this story with you now.  At Christmas, as I mentioned before, we got tons of cards and gifts from so many thoughtful people. One of the cards was from some friends of friends in Seattle. Priscilla told of her experience similar to ours – her husband suffered traumatic brain injury. Aside from that, the point that struck me hardest was her advice that I should mourn my loss.  This has really stuck with me. Only time will heal that wound. It still upsets me when I think about it and I know it will for a long time. I am an active person. I had 2 wonderful pregnancies and enjoyed all associated sensations immensely. Two days before Encsi was born I was mowing the lawn (she liked the pool that mommy built for her and didn’t want to come out and so I was trying to discourage that comfort).  When I see a bike I get grumpy.  I loved to ski (well, try to anyway) either cross-country or downhill. I loved hiking when I lived in Seattle. I want to jump through the waves at the beach with the kids.  Anyway, it is difficult to share these feelings but I hope it will make it easier not only for me, but for those who love me. I hope that when you read this you will think about those that you love and the trials they have been through and understand how it has shaped them. I could be depressed and miserable but not only is there no time because life is speeding on around me, no one I love would want to be with me and that would not be fun at all! I have said this to people and I will probably keep saying it because it makes me realize how futile those emotion are. So if you think that I am strong because of that, I thank you but the thanks really goes to my family. You know my dad, my brother, and Jani aren’t going to allow me to be sad!  Jani calls me “weepy” when I tear up – about anything, even when it is because of something sweet!

Tuesday May 20^th. Staying home again today with Rowan. Poor kid.  For the record, it is not funny when a 4.5 year old nephew tells his nephrologist uncle that his kidneys hurt.  The funny part to me was that if anyone out there knows any 4.5 years old that know where their kidneys are, please let me know!  Anyway, poor uncle Kal has been through enough between his brother-in-law and mother-in-law’s kidneys, his son’s hernia surgeries, and my accident (this is a short list by the way – the real one is much longer) and so I should have know better than to joke with him when he is hard at work!!

Came across this article about clinical trials through Geron using ES cell therapy for SPI being halted. 

http://www.nature.com/news/2008/080519/full/news.2008.842.html

For those of you who are missing Jani because he doesn’t have time to get back to you, please know that it isn’t for lack of desire or thought. This firefighter training is intense mentally (they have a few tests/week) and physically (they are working out everyday), and in addition to taking care of the kids, the dog, the house, and me, he gets a few hours of sleep.  Yet, he never complains and not only that, he smiles and makes us all laugh.  If I haven’t said so before, I will say that I adore my husband beyond words. Truly a spectacular man in so many ways and I feel so incredibly lucky to see his wonderful smiling face every day.

Well, Rowan went back to nap again and so I am going to try to get some work done!

Saturday May 24^th. Well, the rest of the week was better. Rowan was well enough to go to daycare on Thursday and Friday and is totally fine today. When I got home on Friday, Drew from DC was waiting in the driveway.  It was nice to visit with him for the evening (he stopped on his way to visit with family in SC) and he spoiled Jani (with Guinness and Heineken) and the kids with toys (a helmet and words for Rowan and a little wagon for Encsi to pull George around in  -so cute!). Anyway, poor Ensci was fine all evening but around 11pm she woke up vomiting and was sick all night. Probably a rotavirus. She is still sleeping this morning. Poor daddy is cleaning the sheets in the rain outside. Well, tomorrow is his birthday, not today! Neither of them got much sleep and so I see big naps on the agenda for the afternoon.

As for me, Friday was nice at therapy. I got a good work out with weights and doing push-ups with Joanne and then Krista tested me out on some Magic Wheels (a Seattle company!).  Just so you get a feel for how economically challenging this is, these wheels alone are $4500. My chair was around $6000. Insurance coverage for a medically necessary item should theoretically not be an issue. These wheels, if they work well, could really help to save me should pain. I can put them into a gear so that when I am rolling up hill, if I let go of my wheels I won’t roll backward. For all those that have seen me going from the van to the Brody building, you know this would be very helpful. So I am trying out a demo pair for this weekend and we’ll see where things go from here.

A random interjection: Everytime I drive over the overpass I see the red circles where the police made markings at the accident scene. Even though the paint is fading, I still feel a twinge every time I drive past.

Today is Tuesday May 27^th. I know it is terrible not to have put this up before but there was a lot going on. Drew came to spend Friday night with us. Encsi had a bad belly all night that night and kept Daddy awake throwing up. Saturday there was a fox in our yard jumping to pick peaches off our tree (you’ll have to ask to get the full story). Sunday was Jani’s 39^th birthday! Rowan bought him beef jerky and 2 super tootsie pops (which he ate/is eating!).  Terese and Dave came over to celebrate with us and brought a really nice cake with fresh strawberries – yummy!!  The Magic Wheels came off on Sunday – too heavy!!! Also, there is too much play when it is in gear. I don’t think they will work for me. Monday we hung out at home and enjoyed Jani’s first long weekend off! Nice that his birthday fell in the middle of it! I got to see Dr. Reeg this morning and he said my spine has healed well. It was great to see him. I kind of feel the same way about him as I did about Dr. Thompson in Seattle who came from dinner with her family late in the evening, was pregnant herself, and stayed into the wee hours to help me deliver my precious son Rowan (1:57am on 9/13, 2003). There are just some people that, even though they are doing their job, they make you feel as though they really care about you as if you were family. Then I had therapy this afternoon with Joanne and Krista. They are going to leave me to me own devices as of next Friday. I can go back if I need help but they think I am ready to do things on my own. I have really come a long way because of the folks at outpatient rehab and I hope to continue to improve.  Tough road………

Anyway, I have pictures that I have tried to upload and will keep doing so but I can’t see them so I don’t think it is working. Will have to bother Vince soon…..

Hope you all enjoyed a beautiful Memorial Day weekend!

Dear all,

            I hope you have had a good week! It is about noon on Saturday and it has been very busy this week in the Virag household.  Jani has been a bit sore from his rigorous physical training but is enjoying that they take them to different places around town to see how things work in case of a Fire.  The kids are both fluctuating with being sick and so we are trying to help them get better by eating, drinking, and sleeping. Hopefully the summer weather and being outside to get fresh air will help!

As for me, I have been at work a bit each day this week and so I am very glad about that. The lab is busy now – Jess has her comprehensive exam coming up at the end of the month, Sailly is working to get a handle on how we do things, Jon came back to spend some of the summer with us, and Jennifer will likely come to help us out part-time too. Therapy is Monday and Friday each week and so I only get one chance to be in the pool on Fridays but I will do my best to try to get there more. Monday was tough in terms of being emotionally taxing but I could not ask for kinder people to help me adjust to the reality of this situation.  

So many other things to share I don’t know where to start!

I got a phone call from Cindy Bollinger (now Munschy) and heard from Cathleen O’Malley (now Chojnacki) – two women I was good friends with in Ionia since St. Peter and Paul middle school. Cindy and her family only live 2.5 hours away in SC and so I am looking forward to having them visit this summer and meeting their families!

Wishes for wellness and contributions to the Recovery Fund just keep coming. I can’t begin to express my gratitude. Thank you so very much for keeping us in your thoughts.

I was recalling visits from friends the other day. When I was at Shepherd, my friend Dr. Frothy (other know him as Jude) from DC came and spent the weekend with me.  He has a fabulous sense to humor and he set me straight on some thoughts I was having. He did’t bring his blender then but hopefully the next time I see him he will make some magic! I thank Todd and Megan McDevitt for hosting him.

When I got home, Eric and Andrea Soule and their 2 kids Carly and Fletcher came by for a few hours on their way from Kingston to Florida. I have always adored the entire Soule family. They have been a source of love, laughter, and strength for me for many years.

Healthwise, my fluid issues are getting much better. I just had a blood draw yesterday to check things and so we’ll see how well my system is adjusting when those results come back.  Otherwise, there are not really many changes. I still need the medication and, as time goes on, the likelihood that my body will resolve it on its own becomes slimmer. This is troublesome because of other symptoms as well but mostly because I don’t like to put medications in my system and In the beginning, the doctors told me this would likely resolve in about 6 months.  My sense of smell is not back either but that could still take some time.  

Well, I am going to make this one short today because there are lots of things to do while the children nap! I just want you all to know that if I haven’t called or responded to messages, please re-send them. The blog is connected to Jani’s e-mail and so he forward things when he gets a chance but you might have better luck if you try my e-mail directly:

jaivirag@gmail.com

Big love to all!

Oh, and if you have any suggestions on what to spoil my hubbie with for his birthday which is coming up on May 25th (#39) let me know!

Dear friends and family,

First let me day what a wonderful Mother’s Day it is. Friday Rowan and Encsi brought cards they made at daycare with their handprints on them. This morning, Rowan went outside and picked some flowers for me. Then some of our wonderful neighbors came all dressed up before church to bring some tulips and wish me a Happy Mothers day. Really a lovely surprise (I hope they can forgive my bedhead!). Then I went outside with the kids for a bit but it started raining so we moved our play inside.  After lunch when Encsi went for a nap, Rowan and I snuggled in bed, ate popcorn, watched some cartoons, and read a story.  We talked to my mom, Jani’s mom, and Auntie Mervie too and wished all mothers lots of love. Anyway, it is only a little after 3pm and so I’ll let you how the rest of the day goes!

Most of this next part was written earlier in the week…..

I can hardly see the screen through my tears. I am working at home today (Monday) and I decided to take a break to go back to the blog. You might recall that a month ago I got through some but didn’t finish reading past posts before I started writing. I read some of the initial posting that Bob wrote and then read up to my birthday.  The words, descriptions, and thoughts from Bob, Kal, and Jani are truly heart wrenching.  I have always had great admiration for these men for a huge range of reasons but there are no words to express my intense appreciation now.  I am so incredibly fortunate to have such amazing people in my corner. I balled like crazy when I read what Jani wrote about his mom in mid December.  I was glad to laugh though when I read what my brother wrote about ending up at PCMH because of nearly falling out of my chair – the eyes rolling. Bets on when that will be? And I cried my heart out when I read how Khaled described his view of me watching my kids as my first sunrise. So true. Everyday is really a gift with them. Seeing Rowan’s sleeping face next to me and the gorgeous smile on his face when he wakes up to daddy’s voice before he even opens his eyes. When we were outside this weekend it was beautiful and so I was wearing shorts. Encsi (now 21 months) came over to me and looked at the graft donor site scar on my right thigh, pointed at it and contorted her face into a concerned visage and said “ow”. I said yup that mommy’s ouchie and then she leaned in, kissed it, and toddled away to play.  This is the attitude – be tender briefly and then get on with the important things in life!

Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I cry and I get frustrated. Not because I can’t reach something (that has always been an issue being married to a very tall Hungarian!) but because there is so much I want to and need to do and everything either takes forever, is very difficult, or seems impossible….but not for long. I was outside cutting watermelon for the kids recently and found it to be pretty tough, not because of my hands and arms but because of my torso – no abdominal muscle control to balance.  So many of you have commented on my strength and my positive attitude and I thank you because I am working at that and so I am glad to know that it is paying off. It is real. Laughter is incredible medicine. I am so very happy to know that there are so many great people around me and the genuine support and care you all share with me is indescribable.  However, this is a new mode and I am not made of steel (well, except for the stuff I don’t like to think about like the Greenfield filter that I didn’t know about until I saw the foreign object in an x-ray I was looking at with my brother at Shepherd and he explained it to me).  I want to get up and run in the yard after Rowan. I want to go over to the pretty little fig tree Jani planted in the yard for the third time – it came from Houston as a Christmas present in 2004 to 1231 Forest Acres in 2006 and now 1259 Forest Acres in 2008). I want to feel my feet in the sand as Ensci digs around in the sandbox. I want to go pick strawberries and blueberries together (most of you know how nuts my kids are about berries). I want to smell the beautiful jasmine plants that are starting to flower (Mother’s Day gifts from my wonderful husband when we lived in Houston).  I want to go camping with my family like we did last summer – listen to the water over the dunes and fall asleep under the stars….  BUT, I am determined not waste too much energy feeling sorry for myself because I have it pretty good. To be alive for one thing but the life I have is pretty darn good. I try not to think that things could always be worse or better but it is human nature to place ourselves on a continuum.  So what I aim for each day is to slide toward the “better” end of the continuum.  Laps in the pool and propelling myself down Forest Acres will replace running and biking.  I will find other activities to substitute for ones I can’t do anymore.  Suggestions are welcome! As much as I have tried, crafts are not my forté but eventually I will attempt to make more soap and candles. I guess the boxes of photos I have could be put into albums….I am so glad to be digital now!

I got to host Bunko on Cinco de Mayo and that was very special to me. Thanks to my mom for making lots of food when she was here because I pulled out a yummy lasagna to share (I didn’t tell everyone that mom is the chef at the General Wolfe but they said it was very good!), I made some salad, and when we were at Panera on Sunday we bought some of their death by chocolate and caramel chocolate brownies (me and baking have never been close).  It was nice to see those women again and they were all very kind and helpful. For example, Karen fixed me a plate, Marion reinforced my strength (although she won in my house and I didn’t!) and we had a really good talk about coping with adversity, Teresa brought her sunny personality to sub for Barbara and put all the dishes in the dishwasher, Terri and Cheryl made sure that the game proceeded, and Frankie is taking care of the Powerball ticket (keep your fingers crossed!).  Thanks ladies!

I got a wonderful surprise e-mail from a dear old friend, Cathleen O’Malley this week (she has posted comments on this site too) and so I am really very happy to restablish contact.

The middle of the week was just plain busy – between work and therapy, things are moving along!

Friday was interesting. It started off fine, until I got to work. There was a thunderstorm in the morning and so I waited until that passed before I headed to work. When I got to the parking lot, there were only a few spots available and none of them were spots I have used before. So I pulled in, not thinking that the hatched blue areas would vary in size between spots. Well, I tested the lift and it looked close but I thought I would be able to make it out. No such luck. I tried and managed to get myself stuck between the lip of the lift and the car parked to the right. Well, luckily I had me cell phone on me and so I called Laura and told her I was “good but stuck” and asked if she could find someone that might be physically capable of helping me out. So she and Dr. Ray came an rescued me. Not only that, Dr. Ray reparked the van so that I would be able to get in when I had to leave.  Also, as all this was happening, Dr. Lust arrived and said he thought we might be having a meeting outside. Then Dr. Iams arrived and saw us all out there and so he came over to join us.  So much for not drawing attention!  Fortunately it wasn’t pouring anymore. One can only laugh about something like this. It makes for a good story!

Emily and Jason were in town visiting from Boston for graduation and we got to spend some time sitting out on the patio with them on Saturday too.

Healthwise, the intranasal stuff works alright but as I get more physically active, the dose frequency doesn’t seem to cut it so I’m going to work on that this week. My physical strength is responding (well, a little more slowly than I would like but it is aging too!) and so hopefully by the end of the summer I will be independent.  People seem to be surprised that I have been going back to work part time since March and driving since mid-April.  I will continue to strive for physical and mental strength!

Have a great Mother’s Day Sunday afternoon and a wonderful week everyone!

Dear all,

I have to warn you that these posts are probably going to be long for a while.  Partly because I like to think about what to write and how and partly because I write some and then I don’t get back to it for a day or sometimes more.  So I hope you’ll bear with me!

I have to tell you about this week because lots of things have changed around the Virag house. Then I will go back in time for a spell and lastly I will update you on my health.

Wow it has been a busy week but pretty good all in all. Monday morning we rose early so Jani could make sure all of us were ready for the day without him. Rowan and mommy were a bit grumpy because we don’t like to be woken up but daddy and Encsi’s energy is contagious and so we forget and move on quickly. Daddy took the kids to daycare. Rowan is going through separation issues but once he gets into things, he has lots of fun with his new friends. Encsi, well, she is like her daddy – she will talk to anyone, anytime, about anything and entertain herself and others with whatever is on hand.  Mommy stayed at home in the morning and took care of some things and then drove herself in the fancy van to therapy in the afternoon. I really enjoyed going to outpatient to work with Krista, Penny, Dave, and Joanne.  I got to go in the pool Mon, Wed, and Fri this week so me and my circulatory system are happy campers!

Tuesday morning mommy went to work for a bit to greet Sailly, the new addition to our lab.  It is good to welcome a kind woman with great capabilities. In the afternoon, Teresa came with me in the van to help me pick up Rowan from daycare and we took him to his orientation at Falkland, the school he will be attending in the Fall. I got to do the parent part and Teresa accompanied Rowan to the classroom with some of his future classmates to play and learn some of the school policies and practices. Anyway, it was a good day.

Wednesday I scared Jani a bit because I charged my phone and popped it into the bag underneath me, not realizing that it had turned off. So he couldn’t reach me and I was busy all day and didn’t use it so I didn’t know. It was a productive day though! Working at home on a manuscript and then therapy (pool again!)

Thursday, I saw the family off, had some coffee, got myself together, worked on the computer for a bit and then drove to work and parked with my new accessible parking pass. Got the best spot possible – my lucky day!

Friday, I went to work in the morning. In the afternoon, I went to therapy to work with Penny in the pool (hurrah! On both counts!).  Then I went to an appointment to meet with Dr. Reeg only to find out that it was supposed to be the day before. I was pretty disappointed because I was very much looking forward to seeing him again (this is the man who operated on my spine).  Now I have to wait until May 27^th.  After that I went to pick up the kids for the first time. There was a girl there who was kind enough to put Encsi in her seat and away we went in mommy’s new van! When we got home, both kids were able to get out through the front passenger door and then they waited for mommy to come out in her chair.  

So all in all, it was a busy week, full of “first tries” but fortunately, without incident!

A few things I was thinking about recently that I want to share and when I was at Shepherd:

Jani gave me a few of his shirts to wear, mostly because I didn’t have the arm mobility to pull many of mine over my head. I was glad about that especially when he wasn’t around because it gave me strength and peace of mind.

When the family would leave the room at the ends of visiting hours and go to the elevator, Rowan would always run back to give me extra kisses. One time, he looked at me with those big tearful brown eyes and whispered “mommy, if you move over just a little I could fit into bed with you.”  Obviously there was not one single time I didn’t cry for hours after they left to drive back to Greenville.

When Mandy and Lori (from Wolfe Island/Kingston, Ontario) came to visit me in January, their flights got messed up because of inclement weather and so, because of my therapy schedule, I really only got to spend a few hours with them. However, it was really good quality time. Being with them, talking about life stuff, laughing and crying with them, and seeing pictures of Mandy’s little Rosyln…all of it really made me feel so lucky to have such great friends and still be integrated into their lives. I think you all know about the benefit they held for me at St. Margaret’s on Wolfe Island. There were so many people there and the money raised is so much appreciated I can’t begin to tell you. I look forward to getting up there one of these days and I was thinking that maybe I should just sit on the ferry all day one day and hug everyone I can get to!

There were lots of people who visited me there and I met some really nice people while I was there so I will come back to it often.

My health: Things are better with this intranasal stuff but I still have to watch things pretty closely. My right shoulder has its good and bad days. The therapists want to keep me for 4 more weeks (my discharge date was May 9^th) to see if they can help with that and work more on strengthening and mobility.  This would be good. I am getting better at transferring by myself but for some things (like the pool and my shower chair) I still need help. They tell me that one day I will be able to just pop myself over instead of using my sliding board. Yikes.

One last thing. You know what I am really glad about? That when people I know see me, they aren’t afraid to bend down and hug me.  It means a lot.

Hope you’re having a great weekend everyone! Today is my youngest nephew Kellan’s first birthday. Even though I can’t be with him to celebrate, I am so glad to be here to see the day!

Dear friends and family,

There are so many things I want to say! This site was not only a great way to keep people apprised of my progress (thanks so much to Bob, Khaled, and Jani) but now I find it soothing to be able to communicate my appreciation for all of you, memories, feelings, and coping strategies. I thought of more people I want to thank and there are two stories I will tell now (but that doesn’t mean that I won’t talk about other things irrespective of chronology at some point!). I want to tell you about Christmas with my family in Atlanta, how I spent the day of the 6^th month anniversary of this accident, then I will update you on my health.

Thanks so much for staying with us. I have heard from many people that they managed to get through my essay (that’s what my dad called it) and I know there are so many people that I missed… like my family in the Czech Republic, including my aunt Jitka who is looking after my health and telling my mother to relay useful information to me and the others who locked down intense thoughts for my well-being and supported my mom through all this insanity… my sister-in-law’s family (all 300+ of them who pulled for me), and friend’s of Khaled’s and the thoughtful people who know him through work and have continued to inquire about my well-being, the Meades in Ionia, MI, and the wonderful flight crew that flew me from PCMH to Atlanta. I reserve the right to keep adding to this list as time goes on but please don’t hesitate to send me a note if you think I will miss someone!

Christmas story: My dear friends Todd and Megan McDevitt were going to be in Texas to spend Christmas with family and so they loaned their house and one of their cars to us. Not only that, they put up a lovely Christmas tree for us. Did I mention that I have a unbelievably fabulous group of friends? So on Christmas I got a day pass (well, closer to half a day in real time) from Shepherd to be able to spend some quality non-hospital time with my parents, Jani, and the kids. It was wonderful. Jani put me onto the loveseat so people could take turns coming to sit by me. I so enjoyed watching them open presents – we all got spoiled by so many people! When the adults were in the kitchen cooking, Rowan came to me with the Dr. Suess’s book “How the Grinch Stole Christmas”, (courtesy of Neil and Lou who visited me at Shepherd first and came all the way from Chicago). As we were reading, Encsi came and wanted to get up onto the couch with us but I couldn’t quite lift her since I don’t have control of my abdominal muscles. So, without hesitation, Rowan hopped off the couch and lifted her up as much as he could….which turned out to be just enough for me to get enough leverage to bring her up all the way. So, even though it only lasted a few minutes (as most of you know children this age don’t sit for too long!), it was an incredible moment for me. I missed them so much it ached.

6 months:

Friday night April 18^th late in the evening, 4 Bettys came (this was the name of our soccer team in Seattle for those of you who don’t know) – Julie from Austin, Megan and Melissa from Atlanta, and Marsha from Worschester, MA.  I got to spend the whole day with them Saturday April 19^th. It was a beautiful day to sit on the patio and talk. As Marsha said, it hit the “Reset” button. I also got a lot of Megan love. Melissa has always been a calming presence. And Julie made me feel like I haven’t missed a beat. We all laughed a lot together and of course, there were a few tears. To say that I am grateful for their friendship is a huge understatement.

So an update:

Healthwise, we are changing things a bit (intranasal – yuck!) to manage my fluid imbalance issues so I’ll let you know in a couple of days how this goes.  My shoulder is still bugging me but my PT did some deep pressure therapy on it and so it is better today.  I caught a bit of a cold – had a sore throat for a couple days and have a little cough but nothing like what I went through the last couple of times. Immune function creeping back! 

You all have inquired about the van that we got Thursday April 17^th, so here are a couple of pix. I will tell you that I drove Jani to therapy with me last Friday April 18^th and he came in the pool with me. Saturday April 19^th was my first time out without Jani (I’ll bet this felt pretty good for him too!). Where did the Bettys go – why, downtown to the 4^th street wineshop of course! We also wandered around in Jefferson’s for a while (I just found a bag in the study/dining room last night – a couple of those cool square candles and holders).  Then we came home and sat on the patio more. Jani took care of the beautiful steaks on the BBQ and made a yummy salad for us! Sunday April 20^th, we went to visit some friends and I drove the whole family there. It was a great feeling to be able to do that and to spend time with good people.

So Jani and I were talking the other day and he came up with this idea (mostly to humor me I think). He suggested that I write a list of things that I won’t be able to do for a while. So we have come up with five…

1. Line dancing.

2. Sit-ups

3. Karate

4. Bull riding

5. Squats

Otherwise I am working on my arm strength and endurance and so I hope to be moving around faster soon so I can bother more of you in person!!

In other news, most of you know that Jani is going to begin his firefighter training today and the kids are going to daycare for the first time. Soon I’ll let you know how all that goes!

I know so many of you have been asking why we haven’t updated the blog – I am very sorry to keep you waiting and so I hope some of this makes up for the delay! We are coming up on the 6 month anniversary (4/19) of the accident. Since I got home 1/22 things have been crazy.  Jani has effectively been a single parent for so long and now he has had to take care of me in addition to that, juggle fixing up both houses, and manage a ton of other things in order to keep things moving forward. This blog was turned over to me but among other things, it took time to put my thoughts down.  I hope you’ll stay with me!

I keep saying this but I really feel that I am so lucky to be alive and to have so many amazingly beautiful people as family and friends! Thank you so much for being with me through all this. The support I have received is truly more than overwhelming and I know that the thoughts and energy you have all invested is the major contributing factor to my well-being. There are so many people to thank – I hope to reach everyone in person one day but there is not a day that goes by when I don’t think about so many of you. For example, here in Greenville there are a great bunch – Teresa and Dave, Walker and his family, Bob, Dick, Jess, and the whole Physiology department and BSOM, Chad, Steve, the other early response folks, Drs. Reeg and Newell, as well as Omar, Frankie and all the nurses – the whole ICU and beyond including the outpatient rehab folks I work with now – Joanne, Krista, Dave, Penny, Sarah, Megan – as well as my Bunco group; some of the folks at Shepherd in Atlanta – Erica, Jeanette, Paul, Marlene, Sheila, Robert, Blair, Marion…; my friends from Seattle – Marsha, Megan, Melissa, Julie, Cathy, the Murry family and lab, Bardia, Hans, Sandi, and all those who went to the party held for me there; my friends in Kingston/Wolfe Island – Mandy, Lori, Hope, Jen, Robert, Sherry, the Soule family, Wolfe Islanders, and everyone who attended the event at St. Margaret’s to honor my 38th birthday; the boys in Chicago – Neil and Lou and their families; Loree in Vancouver; Vince in Winnipeg, the boys in DC – Jude and Drew; the Ponthiers in Perth Australia; Dr.McDonough and the pholks in the Physiology department at LSU in New Orleans; in Houston – Rachel, Bill, Susan, Kevin, Valerie and her family and all the people who attended the auction held for me there; my husband’s family in Hungary – Margit, Edit, Ibolya, Peter, Sanyi, their kids, and so many relatives who have extended so much support to me and to Jani; and of course my absoSmurfly phenomenal husband Jani, beautiful children Rowan and Encsi, my loving and selfless parents, and my devoted and brilliant brother Kal and my sweet sister-in-law Mervie and their 3 handsome boys Kaden, Kyan, and Kellan. If you are reading this and weren’t mentioned, please know that I feel so incredibly grateful to have you in my life. I have been thinking about this website for some time and have been avoiding it because I wanted to start from the beginning and see how things evolved and do as much as possible to let people know how much they mean to me. Well, my dear husband placed the computer with the blog site in front of me one night in early April and so I had no choice but to read. So I made it through October. What a nightmare. Everyone tells me that it is all in the past but in some respects (emotional), it is hard to pick up on life from a given point. Physically, I still don’t care to know much detail. I know what I need to know and am working on building my strength. This is very different from my normal level of activity but give me a year. You all know this is not my style. I’ll figure something out. Plus I believe in the power of science! Self-assembling nanofibers injected into the spinal cords….And Jani, my wonderful soldier Rowan (this is what he told me he was when I was in the Rehab hospital in Atlanta – no question he went through a lot and I am thrilled to have the handsome ball of energy to guard me!), our little social beauty Encsi, and all of our family and friends are my motivation to make my life even more grand. I knew I was lucky before all this but now I know my fortune is extreme! “Thanks” doesn’t even begin to express my sentiments.

This letter has taken me a few weeks to write. I really am sorry to keep you all waiting. I will keep you apprised of developments as long as there is progress and you are all interested!

So to catch you up on what has been going on: I arrived home on Tuesday 3 days before my 38th birthday. Jani threw a party for me in the new house and my brother arrived on my birthday to help me celebrate. Kal and Jani each took a few of the rings I always wore and kept them on strings around their neck. On my birthday weekend, I was happy to reclaim them. So many people came to that party and it was great to see everyone…some I did not remember but I was glad to have the opportunity to meet them and thank them for helping out. Everything everyone who was there did saved my life and not to be cheesy but I am eternally grateful. As I have told my friends, there are so many more people in life I need to aggravate! Oh and speaking of cheesy, Cheesy was well looked after mostly by Teresa and Dave and they brought him home when I arrived. He is 12 now but still getting his lumpy self (he has dozens of lipomas all over but they are all benign) around well and I am very happy for his company.

The move took place on Feb 2 and again, lots of people showed up to help out. It was amazing and we appreciate it immensely. Then my parents arrived and continued to move things over from the other house for the better part of their month stay with us. In addition, they bonded with their grandkids, cooked yummy food for us, and for those of you who know my dad, you know that he went shopping all the time and not only for good things for mom to cook but also, he found a lot of great things to help make life easier. Then my brother and his family came for the week of Valentine’s Day. The kids played together and we all enjoyed each other’s company. Drew came down from DC in March to help Jani paint in the kitchen of the old house. Jani’s mom and sister Edit came at the end of March to stay with us for 2 weeks. They were tremendous is helping to look after the kids, cook, clean, and help Jani work on the other house too. Plus they were good company for Jani. His sister Edit has such as fabulously contagious laugh that I would laugh not even being able to understand what was so funny in the first place!

So, now we are moved in to this beautiful home that so many of you helped to fix up, paint, and move us into. It is a great place.

I have been going back to work as much as I can and I am very happy to be back. I missed many things about it and as hard as it is to get caught up on things, I am happy and grateful for the chance to do so.

I am in outpatient therapy 3 times/week and they are helping to conquer the mobility issues. Good folks there. I am getting stronger and more educated about how to cope with more than mobility issues and I am actually happy to go there. I get to use the pool (you all know how I love the water) a couple times per week and so that is a huge treat to get out of the chair and do some cardiovascular exercise!

Medically, most of you know more than I do about what happened but I’ll tell you where I am now. My dexterity is good in both hands. My left hand is always colder than my right – probably some vessels got messed up so my circulation isn’t the same. My right shoulder causes me pain but since I depend on my arms and shoulders for everything, I think that this will be a constant battle. My hormones are still awry and so I am taking an ADH analogue to keep from dumping fluid abnormally (well, too abnormally in that I don’t become severely dehydrated like I did 5 months ago). They say there is nothing wrong with my pituitary and that what is wrong will right itself over time. My physiology says different but hopefully with time the problem will get fixed. I have no sensation below my chest level but I might be getting some ability to contract my upper abs a little bit. The rest of my muscles spasm when I change posture but this doesn’t get in the way of most things and so I am glad that they contract to retain some tone. As I understand it, the first 18 months are the critical healing time and so I have another year in which anything can happen….although there are reports of people getting up and walking 5 years later and so on and so we hang on to the hope that my body will also perform such great feats!!

Van Products just called that my van is ready and so we’re going to get it 4/17. This van is possible because of all the generous contributions you have all made. It has a lift that operates by remote, I will be able to strap my chair in behind me, transfer to the driver’s seat, and off I go! Not having to have Jani hoist me into the Armada will be a good thing for his back and I will be happy not to have to ask him to take me to work and therapy. Plus, obviously it is another step toward independence so THANKS!!! And for any who may question it or wonder how such a thing works, I have passed my driver’s evaluation which involved using my left hand to push a lever for gas (down) and brake (forward) and my right hand to steer using a bracket (attached to the steering wheel) with a knob on it so I don’t have to do hand over hand. Something to get used to for sure but hopefully I’ll be the soccer mom extraordinaire when that time comes! At any rate, I am so glad to be here to see my sweet nugget Rowan be his wonderful 4.5 year old self and have his first day at school which will be this fall. (He has slept next to me nearly every night since I have been home and even though this age brings curiosity and defiance that is well…. let me say confusing to reasonable people, he is a good soul). Who knows what Encsi will want to try but I am happy to be here to watch her grow. Her smile and her gorgeous chubby thighs (she’ll be so mad about this10 years from now!) are simply addictive. And then there is Jani, my loving, wise, seriously silly but wonderfully sexy fireman (to be – starting 4/28!) husband…well, my heart is too full for words.

So as things progress from here, I will let you know how things are going. Thanks so much for sticking with me through all this. There is no question that this situation is traumatic in many ways but I have a great life to live in many ways too and I will continue to do so……so stay tuned!

Dear all who still bother to look this blog up,

I am so grateful and happy to know you care about us.  I tried my best to keep this blog up.  Recently I had my mother and my sister visiting here.  They have been a great help for sure.  I am home with Jitka and the kids until the end of April.  Then I will start my job with the Greemville Fire Department.  I though it will be a great thing to do for me, and hopefully for all whom involved……

Jitka has to find the mind to keep this going. 

Thank you so so so very much!

Love

Jani

Today Jitka was back in her office. She thinks of it as the first official day back on the job.  She was so proud of herself.  In a few weeks I hope she will be able to drive herself, as she is trying to learn a manually operated HC vehicle at the rehab facility.  We are going to find a minivan that is already equipped with chair lift and controls.

Her parents were with us for over a month. Today they are driving up to the freezing cold weather.  It was great to have some help for sure!  Now I am back in the laundry room….  

A few days ago we had the Red Oak Fire Department’s Chief Singleton here visiting with the EMS man who were the first responders at the accident.  They are so nice.  I hope we will be able to keep in touch with them.  At this time we owe so many letters and phone calls to people that it seems crazy to think any of will be able to keep in touch – not even with our own self sometimes.  I am sure a time will come when this chaos subsides and life will be less of a scramble. 

Tomorrow I am starting to paint the “old” house.  Hope fully it will be rented out or sold in a short time.  

Well, I am too tired again to write, so good night

I hope you are all well!  Eat lots and sleep more!

Jani 

Wow, we had an eventful morning.  As I first stepped into the kitchen this morning I noticed a massive “lake” accumulated on the floor.  I got so scared.  Just yesterday we had a service man here to try to repair our heating system, which has not worked since we moved in.  The house has a non-functioning floor heat system.  Yesterday the repairman said he gave the pumps a temporary fix, so the pipes would be under circulated pressure.  I thought there was a leak somewhere and that caused the flooding.  (Need to mention I had to break up the concrete floor in a bedroom already to repair a busted pipe.) But I was very happy to find that the freezer was causing the trouble.  It is just a busted water supply for the ice-maker.  Then a few hours of mopping and we were all happy again:):):):)

As you can see I uploaded some photos here.  I am hoping to get some more on – especially form Wolfe Island very soon.  By the way, if someone could send me telephone umber or email address of the weekly magazine published there that would be great!

Started looking around for a vehicle that can be driven by Jitka when she can easily transfer to and drive a modified car.  I really dislike shopping, especially for cars.  So it will be a very hard thing to do.  Of course need to be done.  I hope she will be able to get around by herself in a few months.   For the time being I lift her out of the wheelchair and place her in our car when we need to drive to her rehab.  I am getting so strong my friends!  Except when it comes to midnight and I need to update this site…..than I feel sleepy. 

Tomorrow I am going to write about our friend Bardia.  Be prepared! 

Back on line!!!  This is Jitka here…..I am ready to take this over now….    Just kidding, she is not ready yet.  She is not ready to read this site for some strange reason. 

Jitka has started her therapy.  She is really gaining strength.  There are some health issues to deal with of course, but generally she is in OK spirit.  I am putting in a concrete walkway for her to get access to the “outside” world.  Working on a few things at the same time to make our new home enjoyable.  Trying to fix up our old home in order to rent it or sell it.  Any buyers?

Days are going very fast.  Getting everybody ready takes a long time!  Kids have no mercy on  me because of the situation!  Absolutely heartless kids!:)  Actually, they are so lovely!  Encsi is a great humorist.  Rowan is a great helper!  He puts his working boots on and helps me a lot!  We installed a drainpipe together.  He managed to get stuck in the mud with his rubber-boots at least once a day.

Well, that is it for today.  Sorry for the short entry.

Night-night! 

Hi,

We are going to have internet connection from the 20th of February.  Jitka will be able to log on and read/write to you.

At this time the move is taking up all our time.  PLEASE don’t ever think I will stop this blog!  I have pictures to share, stories to tell, people to thank!   

With love,

Jani

hello

I am so happy to say that we are moving into our wheelchair accessible place tomorrow.  Finally the floor is done and we can move on one more step.  It has been a challenge for both of us to manage here at our “old” house.  We have some more wonderful people coming tomorrow to help with the move.  It is our 4th move in 3yrs.  Not too bed even for Gypsies, eh?  I think I should have installed wheels on all furniture 3yrs ago. 

Jitka still has her beautiful flowers and cards displayed.  We will move all of those.  If the kids are behaving fine we will take them too.  They sure keep us busy.  I am still looking for a nanny!  Just to keep me loving them, instead of being their ref all the time.

Jit had a rehab appointment yesterday.  She is going to be doing therapies for a few weeks.  Of course she needs to get stronger and develop new skills.  I will be taking her back to the wonderful people of our local hospital.  She had an appointment today with the endocrinologist.  Kal will write in detail about some of the medical issues as soon as he is done with his grammar classes.  (As a new requirement Michigan doctors need to pass a writing skill test.) 

So tomorrow we will move some of our gear into the new place.  Then I will start working on a walkway that wold allow Jit to go out to the street – the gravel is to hard to ride on with the wheelchair.  I guess when that is done, our place will be functional, (or “functionable”, as our leader would say:).  The rest will be a pleasure.  

You won’t believe this, but I was told today I am running low on energy.  But I am certainly not low on help received and offered.  Thank you so so so very much. 

You guys on WOLFE ISLAND do ROCK!!!!!!!!!

Koszi szepen! 

Jani

 A lot of fun! More pics are coming!

Jitka is going to be forced to take this update over!  I have asked her aready, but you must know, she haven’t had the courage to even read into it.  She has not seen her own photos either. 

We had a short and sweet party on Saturday.  We were so happy to see  40-50 wonderful people.  Thank you for coming! I am going to upload a lot of photos very soon, just waiting for some more pictures from the party on Wolfe Island, Canada. 

We are so ready to move into the wheelchair accessible house!  It will be great.  Need a few more days to finish the floor and then we are in. 

This time I just wanted to say thanks to all of you!  (I will do it many more times!) Also, wanted to bring your attention to a wonderfully written article -or to at least the on-line version of it – that was in the Greenville paper:  It is under “homecoming” on Sunday’s  01/27/08 of www.reflector.com 

All the best to you!

Jani

Hello everyone!  I went to see Jitka, this weekend, and it was extraordinarily eventful!

First, I would like to thank Jitka’s dear friends Mandy and Lori on Wolfe Island who arranged a very successful party for Jitka’s birthday (Jan. 25th).  My parents went and were so so touched to see everyone there to support Jitka.  Thank you to the entire community on Wolfe Island!

Then, on Saturday, Jani threw a welcoming home party for Jitka at the new house.  It was heartwarming to meet all of the people from whom we have received e-mails of well wishes and support as well as those that have been helping out with the work on the new house.  I also had my first opportunity to meet Walker, the young man who arrived on the scene moments after the accident.  He stablized Jitkas spine and airway, and somehow managed to slow the bleeding from her gaping leg wound until EMS arrived.  Teresa had initially described him as a “trained paramedic”, as he had performed so calmly and skillfully under pressure-it seemed that he had done it a thousand times before.  We were all shocked to later discover that he is only 15 years old and was trained as a boyscout.  Fifteen going on 25.  He is a very mature young man.  I tried to thank him, but the words just don’t capture how deep our gratitude runs. 

Earlier that day, a very kind  reporter from “The Reflector” came by the house to interview Jitka.  She wrote a beautiful story that actually made the front page!  You can read it at www.reflector.com, and just search “Virag”.  The article is entitled “Homecoming”. 

Jitka is thrilled to be back home with her husband kids.  She watches them as though they were the first sunrise she had ever seen.  Jani lovingly carries her up the stairs and puts her in the bath tub, washes her hair and gets her dressed.  He helps her with her flexibility exercises.  That guy is a dynamo.  He embodies the vow “in sickness and in health”.  He is truly selfless. Jitka is moved to tears whenever we speak of what he has been through.

Finally, we went for a lovely walk on Sunday.  Jitka nearly made it down the street and back on her own.  Wasn’t lighting, but she did it.  She’s got grit.  As far as getting used to being at home-there were a couple of near misses.  When we got back home from the walk, she told me that the wheel on her chair was rubbing against her leg.  I held the side of her chair in one hand and tried to manipulate the wheel with my right.  To my surprise the d–n thing came off in my hand with one gentle tug!  It was hanging by a thread the entire time!  Fortunately I was able to knock it back on so that it was stable enough to hold her while I got her out of it!  Next, she decided to put her shoes on without putting her seatbelt on and nearly smooched the floor.  Managed to catch her that time too.  I can just see the people at Pitt County Memorial rolling their eye if she were to wind up back there again!

Ok.  Long-winded again!  But I will  sign off with one more expression of our sincere gratitude to each and every one of you for your prayers, helping-hands, cards, donations, e-mails…the list is endless.  God bless you, and goodnight.

Kal

3 months and 4 days after being hit on the road Jitka is finally home.  It has been and will be a time when remembering that she is alive despite the injuries she suffered, and knowing that how much you care helped and will keep helping us to live with a grateful and hopeful mindset.  The road home has been very long for her.  Thank you for cheering on!  Thank you for putting wind in our sail, and for the hope in our hearts.  I keep promising, but one day I will have enough time and will do it too: I will write here your names (and your phone numbers…:)) who touched us by your kindness.  I just need to feel the right way of expressing myself.  And while I am thinking about all that, please be reminded: We will have a party to appreciate you all and to mark Jitka’s homecoming toward which we all looked forward so much.   This will take place on Saturday, 26th.  Please come by!

There are some pictures without comments bellow. there will be many more to come, but for now, this is what I have managed to upload here.  Some are from the house repair, and others are from Shepherd Center.  You can also see Jitka’s arrival home, and visiting her new home.  As I said, I will put on many more of them later!

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jani

And just one quick posting from Lori Woodman:

Hi all .. just thought I would send a reminder to all who were invited about the Benefit Night for Jitka this Friday, January 25, 2008 at Saint Margaret’s Hall, Wolfe Island with the schedule of events to be as follows:

Wine & Cheese 6:30 – 8:30
Silent Auction 6:30 – 9:00
Dance starts at 9:00 with RWI
Cash Bar opens at 8:30

Entry is by donation only!

This event promises to be a great event with great food, unique and lovely auction items and great music.

The items for the silent auction include gift certificates to restaurants, clothing stores, hair salons/spa, the Cineplex Odeon, for fishing charter, horseback riding, etc. plus we have an assortment of artwork, jewellery, gift baskets and other wonderful items to auction off!

Look forward to seeing everyone there to send well wishes to Jitka on her road to recovery as well as wish her a Happy Happy Birthday!

Thanks a bunch.

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Hi everyone, this is Kal again.  Haven’t written  in some time, but I got a phone call this morning that overwhelmed me with happiness.  Jitka called me from Jani’s cell phone from the car!!  On the way home!!  She was so thrilled that I cannot even explain it.  She is so excited to see everyone back in Greenville.  We also want to thank everyone who worked so hard fixing and painting the house.  God bless you all.  Jani tells me that it is coming along beautifully and he promised to update the blog with photos of the fruits of everyone’s labor as soon as they get home.  Meanwhile, Jitka is savoring the fresh air as though it were a silky Cabernet.  If only I could describe the tone of her voice when she said “I’m just so happy to be alive.”  And live she shall, reunited with her family after over three months in the hospital.  Thank God she is home.

 Thank you again and again, all of you.  I look forward to seeing many of you soon on my next trip to Greenville.  Have a great night!!

Thank you for the great help today!  We started working on the house.  There were 16 of us working today and had little Roro assisting all he could as well.  My friend Nina was looking after Encsi all day.  Thanks Nina!

Conductors Eris and Teresa got us into motion.  It was wonderful to see how clean the kitchen got, as masking tape was flying onto the walls, paint snaking after the brush and rollers.  Started repairing some plumbing problems as well.  Really trying hard to get ready by Monday evening as much as possible before the flooring guys need the space.  I did take some pictures, but I don’t have the energy to download them.  Sorry.   Will do tomorrow.

Jitka told me her skin graft got scraped again and is looking a little bit worse.  I guess she needs some good rest and attention.  She is really ready to come home.  It is hard to be separated, especially on the weekend when we could have time together.  But this house issue needs to be done.  We will try to get to Atlanta tomorrow. 

Hello!  It is time for me to write again – I promised I won’t write until I have good news, or something better to say than complains. 

Finally, today the paperwork for the purchase of a wheelchair accessible home got approved.  It has been a very difficult process to obtain a loan at this time.  The banks are being very careful…..  Hopefully we can close on it on Friday.  Mr. Brown the real estate attorney, David Lever, and Joey Barrows worked very hard to get us to this point.  Thank you gentlemen!  When we are ready with the repairs I will upload pictures of the work and house. 

Jitka’s birthday will be the date for a very nice event on Wolfe Island, Ontario that you can read about on Facebook, but here is an appetizer:

Everyone is invited to attend the Benefit Night for

Jitka Virag

Friday, January 25, 2008

at Saint Margaret’s Hall

Wine & Cheese 6:30 – 8:30

Silent Auction 6:30 – 9:00

Dance starts at 9:00 with RWI

In case you don’t remember, or haven’t had the opportunity to get to know Jitka, she moved to Wolfe Island with her brother Kalid and parents, Mustafa and Eliska Ismail when she was beginning high school. She lived with her family and worked for her grandparents, Miro and Hanna Zborovosky at the General Wolfe Hotel throughout high school and university. During those years, Jitka made many friends on the Island and in Kingston and those friendships have passed the test of time. We have put together a benefit night on Jitka’s birthday, January 25^th!  All proceeds and donations will go to the “Jitka Virag Recovery Fund” to help cover hospital, home, and family expenses. Please plan on stopping by Saint Margaret’s Hall to show your support and send your best wishes. If you would like to contribute something to the silent auction, please contact us, as we would really appreciate it! 

On October 19^th our dear friend, Jitka Virag was bicycling home from work, when a car travelling 50 mph near her home in Greenville, North Carolina hit her from behind.  Her extensive injuries included serious head and lung injuries and various broken bones and worst of all, numerous fractured vertebrae with a spinal cord injury at T4-5, which has caused her to be paraplegic. Jitka spent three weeks in ICU then a few more in intermediate care where she endured stomach tubes, ventilators, pneumonia, skin grafts, etc.  Her loving husband, Jani has been a pillar of strength, tending to Jitka as well as caring for their children: Rowan (4) and Ensci (1).  Jitka has astonished us and made us all proud with her bravery and strong will to recover. In December she was transferred to Shepherd Rehabilitation Center in Atlanta, Georgia for intense rehabilitation. She is expected to return home to Greenville in late January.  

Their current home, which Jani had just recently renovated is a two story and no longer suitable. They have purchased another house that has been vacant for a few years and has had much water damage BUT this house is already wheel chair accessible and close to their current home! Renovating this house will be expensive as will the cost of a vehicle with a wheel chair lift. 

Jitka was able to leave the hospital for a half day on Christmas. She spent it with her family at a friend’s home in Atlanta. Being out of hospital and surrounded by her loving family was overwhelming for Jitka, making her immensely more home sick if that is possible! If all goes well, Jitka will be able to go home in a few weeks, when she will begin the final challenge of adjusting to daily life with the reality of never using her legs. Jitka counts her blessings but it is difficult to imagine what this family has gone through and will continue to endure. It makes us stop and appreciate what we have, and cherish our loved ones. 

We hope to see you on the 25th!

Mandy Clark   Lori Woodman

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         613-549-8541           613-385-8545 

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Everyone is invited to attend the Benefit Night for

Jitka Virag

Friday, January 25, 2008

Saint Margaret’s Hall 

Wine & Cheese 6:30 – 8:30

Silent Auction 6:30 – 9:00

Dance starts at 9:00 with RWI

Cash Bar opens at 8:30

This event promises to be a great event with great food, unique and lovely auction items and great music. 

Thanks to the following folks who have contributed so far

      Active Orthopedic Solutions  Fargo’s General Store

      Agent 99     Frank’s Garage

      Atomica     Henry Saxe

      Blue Print     James Brett Salon

      Mosier’s Groceries & Convenience  Bruce Mellon

      Cathy Colwell & Joe McAllister   PC+NET Solutions

      at Corner Stone Farm, Kingston

      Chien Noir     Pyke Farms Landscaping

      Dennis and Corliss Piasetzki  Pyke View Meadows

      Wolfe Island Riverfront Golf Course RWI

      Brown’s Bay Inn    Cathy Greenlees

      Merry Family Foot Clinic   David Dossett

      Cineplex Odeon Theatre Kingston Woodman Machine

      Telus Communications

      and many more …

If you live in that area please go buy and have a good time!  It is organized by Mandy Clark, her mom, and Lori Woodman.  Thank you very much for every-one’s help there!  Please take lots of pictures!

Also, next week Wednesday I will be driving her home from Atlanta.  I still need to do some training in order to get the blessing of the hospital for her departure, but one thing is certain: Us too will celebrate here at our house on 26th of January, Saturday.  I think from 4:30PM till 7PM I will be thanking everyone who can come for ALL THAT WONDERFUL KINDNESS that has been given to us during this horrible time!  Please come, and let me thank you!  You ladies and gentlemen at PCMH ICU and rehab, employees and students at Brody School of Med., our attorneys and their secretaries, neighbors, friends, the State Troopers, the Fire Department, RBC employees, Susan A + fam, Keller Williams folks, KidzTown ladies, Eric Maas’ friends, all Jitka’s friends,and many more of you plus your families who live close enough to come by: PLEASE come and see us.  (1231 Forest Acres Dr.)  I hope we won’t fit in the house!!!   

Jitka was taken to the Atalanta airport today to experience the way boarding an aircraft is for a paraplegic.  She actually set on a Moscow bound Delta flight at the gate.  I think she had a good time.  I still need to hear about it from her. 

Her skin graft from two months ago still has to complete its healing.  It was ripped open by accident shortly after arriving to Atlanta.  However, she said finally today it seems like having the proper bandage on it for the last couple of days allowed it to start healing. 

Oh, I need to mention one more thing: Please don’t form too strong of an opinion when I express mine about whatever subject.  There are some truly wonderful nurses and people in other profession at Shepherd Center who are really caring about Jitka.  For example there is Jeanette and Erica who trained me a few times.  They are absolutely amazing.  And I know Jitka is very impressed by her PT.  I will get all the names right next time I am there and will have an e-toast to them!   Some of the issues that make her stay difficult come from having a room-mate who require an ICU type of care.  It is just really hard to get a few hours of sleep when people always talk laud next to her in the middle of the night.  Still, it would be unfair to take the praise from those very hard working individuals who have respect for my wife and truly care for her and for all their other patients.  It is a very busy place that needs more employees.  This is my business analysis for the night. 

Hi all!  Hope you are well!  Unfortunately we are a bit delayed in the closing on the house and so the repairs are cancelled for this weekend.  Sorry for the late notice!  Thank you again for everyones’ willingness to contribute their time to help us out.  We truly appreciate it!  Once things come through, we’ll let eveyone know.  Thanks again and have a great weekend!

http://www.newsroom.ucla.edu/portal/ucla/ucla-scientists-show-nervous-system-42656.aspx

Visitors Mandy and Lori

Surely, I will come across to some as a person that complains too much.  That is the way my coconut is these days. Doesn’t matter…..I promised I provide the most accurate info here, and when I don’t have better to report I need to report the bad news – CNN does it without a reason, and it is Atlanta based too:) Jitka’s infection #3 is the same as #1 was.  I really don’t know what to say. I just don’t.  I am just mad! For now, I FedEx a case of EasyOff to use around the toilet in her room, it seems to need it.

Jit had the opportunity to use an equipment that helps her to be up-right.  That sure made her happy.   She didn’t experience any dizziness.  Her blood pressure is still close to what it used to be.   I am going to try to find a few equipment for her to help with exercising after she comes home.  I am so determined to organize a little rehab on our own that is going to help her to stay healthy.  It is another three weeks from today when she is scheduled to leave that hospital, and I haven’t even been able to secure our new home.  I still hope it will be all ready to move in.  Some fast work will have to be done to it.  I am going to ask for all those wonderful offers to help painting, cleaning, moving, etc.  Her birthday is the 25th, and I am inviting all of you to come and celebrate with us. Will pick a day right around that date, most likely the Friday or Saturday of the same week.  I would like that party to be an appreciation to all of you for your help and kindness!   Neighbours, friends, coworkers, nurses, doctors, relatives are all invited! It is going to be a big one!  So write it in your calendars, and hope the house is ready!  Will finalize it and send you the address, date, and time. 

Tomorrow morning I will be driving back to Greenville again.  It is nice to go back in a way, but it is hard for all of us to part again. 

Jitka’s had an easy day.  One PT session for today only.  I gave her a little leg and foot rub.  I think a highly recommended place like the Shepherd Center should have someone on staff to provide massage to those who need it and benefit from it.  Don’t you agree?  I need a vote on this.

I am not happy with another thing – and I might get into trouble for this – but I feel like mentioning that she just finished the antibiotics yesterday for her second urinary tract infection.  Now, it seems she is getting her third one…..  In my own opinion, either she needs to be monitored how she takes care of herself, or she has to be taken care of.  It is just absolutely annoying.  I have more to say about it than Jitka has, but the spellcheck won’t know those words….  Is it like this in every hospital? I really don’t know and need a vote on this too.  Skin -, bladder -, and bowel care are possibly the most important to pay attention to at this time.  Also, patients can easily transmit bacteria/virus with the wheels of their chairs.  It runs on the floor and powers by the hand.  It won’t get any easier than that.  Well, I won’t go on about it, I am sure there are plenty I don’t know, and there are many wonderful, caring people whom I don’t want to hurt.

There are 365 days left in the year!  Make them count! Happy new year to you dear reader.

365 nap van hatra az evbol.  Szamitson minden nap!  Bodog Uj Evet!

It is time now to order THE wheelchair.  It will be a decision that no-one ever thinks about making.  How about a car, or a house….,but a wheelchair?  It takes a lot of consideration and expertise to decide on the size, material, shape, and -in case of a woman:) – the colour of a chair.  Someone along the way must make a pretty profit on a $5,000 chair…..  The insurance picks up a chunk of it in our case – BUT if you are looking for a sales position it must give you an idea of field:)   It is 4 wheels and a frame, nothing robotic.  I guess Wall-Mart didn’t get the right approach to it yet.

At this time the source of most problems actually comes from her room mate.  It is more and more clear to me now that Jitka suffers from sleep deprivation.  Between the regular 4hr interval of care (8PM, 12 and 4 AM) she has to wake to the sound breaking, barking snore of her neighbour.  Fortunately, it will make her appreciate my gentle, nightly “serenade”. chraa…..brrrrr

For two days we have Teresa and Jess visiting from Greenville, NC.  If you follow this blog you sure have had a chance to read about them.  They both have been a tremendous help to me personally, especially looking after Rowan and Encsi when I needed it. The children are the driving force of this process.  I feel guilty of the times when I thought they slow me down. I know it is actually I, and this horrible situation, that has slowing effect on them. I am looking very hard to find a caring, loving nanny for them.  They deserve more attention.  I think I am just a little bit worn out.  Fortunately, Jitka just absolutely adores having them around regardless the chaos we three carry along to her…..   It is wonderful to see.   

I mention one more thing before calling it a night: Love and THANKS to my family. Thank you for your help.  Love to Jitka’s brother and his family. and to her parents, many thanks.  There are neighbours who turn into friends. There are friends who turn into family.  And there is family which becomes an ever closer and stronger entity. It is too bad Jitka has to pay the sacrifice for it, and I am so limited in sharing the burden.  With all my love, thank you ALL!  Jani

We had Bill and Rachel Anderson here for a quick visit.  I hope you all know them, so I won’t need to tell you how wonderful people they are:)  They were our friends/neighbours in Seabrook, TX.  I didn’t tell Jitka about their visit ahead of time.  It was really exciting to see her face drop when she noticed them!!!  I wish I had the camera there with me.  Under this Seabrook entry I would like to thank Susan and Kevin for the special event for Jitka.  And thank you all who visited us via them! (and helped Kevin emptying the keg)   

Jitka has no break from the hard work she is doing.  Her really wonderful nurses and caretakers are helping and doing a great job.  I will need to dedicate a very special page to mention the medical stuff at Pitt County Memorial Hospital and at the Shepherd Center for their “job well done”.  Will make a “Page of our heroes”! 

Magyarul a vegere forditottam

Arriving on a “day pass” to friends’ house – H-Megerkezes az ismerosok hazaba

Roro playing with the wheelchair – H -Roro jatszik a toloszekkel

The pretty smile is back – H - A visszatert mosoly

Colour matching what? - H – Meg a  szinvak is megdorzsoli a szemet ettol…

I was allowed to take Jitka from the hospital for the afternoon.  We used our newly learned chair-to-car transfer skills.  After a long struggle of moving her into the car we drove to our friends’ house.  Jitka’s biggest treat ever!  She loved sitting on the couch.  We had a wonderful afternoon with a great dinner.  Encsi and Roro were very happy to open their presents.  I think all this made Jitka a little more homesick if that is possible…..  I am so happy we are able to be together like this.  It was very special in many ways.  She cried through opening her cards and presents.  Thank you for your thoughts, gifts, and spirit! You help us all not to look at the past, but to look toward the future with greater hope and stronger courage.  What a wonderful feeling to have such a great support behind us.  It makes a GREAT difference.

Hungarian :

Megengedtek hogy kivigyem Jitkat a korhazbol ma delutan.  A nemreg tanult toloszekbol valo atmaszast az autoba most hasznaltuk.  Talan fel ora amig elkeszulunk az indulasra.  Utanna egy baratunk hazaba mentunk.  Jitka nagyon orult neki.  Kulonosen a heveron valo lazitasnak.  Gyonyoru delutanunk es vacsorank volt.  A gyerekek kibontottak az ajandekokat.  Ez az egesz nagy honvagyat ebresztett Jitkaban.  Boldog vagyok hogy igy ossze tudtunk jonni, nagyon kulonleges volt sok ertelemben.  Jitka sirt amikor a lapokat olvasta es az ajandekbontas kozben.

A sok szep gondolat es joakarat nagyon segit bennunket hogy ne a multat sajnaljuk, hanem a jovot nezzuk nagyobb remennyel es erosebb batorsaggal.  Ez nagyon jo erzes hogy ilyen sokfelol es ilyen nagy mertekben kapunk segitseget.  Ebbol tudunk a valtoztatashoz erot meriteni.

We would like to take this opportunity and wish you – the wonderful, caring people – a very merry Christmas!  We wish you get to hug those you love, and feel the love in and around you!  Thanks for being there when we needed you.  Thank you for caring about us.  Thank you for the hope.  Thanks for the love. 

Jitka, Janos, Rowan and Encsi

Here we are ganging up on Jitka for Christmas.  Her parents are here as well and she certainly has lots of attention.  Now we make our dinner time like a family should: We bring food to an area with tables and spend some nice time together.  Jitka has OK appetite – eats more than mouse, but less than a kitten….

She had her neuropsych testing done and it seems like everything is all right in the memory department. I am a little disappointed about it though: For a while I was hoping that some things I have done in the past she would be grateful enough not to recall:) 

Fortunately her fluid waisting problem has improved greatly as well.  She does not need a constant catheter any more.  This makes moving around more plesent.  As a great disappiontment, this morning the catheter had to be reinstalled because the of a likely new infection.

Jitka and I started to practice moving into a vehicle.  I need to learn how to help her transferring on a slide board.  If we get signed off on it we will have a chance to get a pass to leave the hospital for a few ours.  That would be just absolutely great!  I am planning to use the time to have a nice meal together at our friends house here in Atlanta, and to open presents by their Christmas tree.   

We had such a nice tine yesterday evening.  Jitka, Papa, Nana, a friend from Seattle Monja, Todd, Melissa, Charlie, Rowan, Encsi, and I were all together.  Had some great meal from Wholefoods – (thanks Kurt:)) – and took lots of pictures.

I was back at home in NC for a few days.  It is still absolutely amazing how much support we get from our friends there.  Someone is looking after our house, Niki at Kidstown is looking after the children if it is needed.  Neighbors gave us food/presents/offered help with work on the house.  We built a ramp with Jitka colleague Dr. Ray to the back of the house.  At this time we are waiting to get get our application approved to purchase a house with full wheelchair accessibility.  It is difficult because we can’t sell our current house before the purchase of the new one.  Too many details to mention here…  The ramp is needed to our current home for Jitka to go home to the house she knows is home.  She won’t be able to live there, but I think it is very important to take her home there first, even if it is for an hour.

I hope I get to update this site one more time before Christmas, but if you don’t get to read it for a while, Merry Christmas to you from us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I found out why my mother keeps cutting our conversations short when I call her. She abruptly says bye and rushes to end nearly every time we talk.  She still can’t talk about Jitka without crying.  Today, she didn’t hang up, but she could not keep her tears either.  I knew this tragedy has been wearing her thin, but have not heard her cry since I left Hungary two days after the accident happened.  She said she feels Jitka will stand up again, maybe she won’t walk well, but she will stand.  She also told me that her strong feelings sooner or later are always right.  It would be hard for me to say “yes, that is true” after years and years of disagreement.  And I need to say yes.  I need to say yes, because her big heart never failed us.  My mother is truly one who has suffered greatly and crossed hardship with the greatest strength I have ever seen.  I like to feel she is right again.  She said she cries as she prays every night for Jitka to walk again.  She said better times will come.  Mother, I hope so much you are right.

My wife wants to come home so much.  She says it now every day that she wants to come home with us.  Rowan said we all need to eat more now to be strong, and able to carry mummy.  I guess we all have opportunity to do our best now. This horrible accident has brought a tremendous amount of good out of family, friends, neighbours, colleagues.  Jitka cries when reminded of our 15 year old neighbour Walker who held her bleeding head up until the responders arrived.  Thank you Walker. From that moment on so many people helped to save her life.  I wish to thank you all. 

Hello all, we hope you are well.  It has been a little bit eventful for Jitka the past couple of days.  Jitka has had a real problem with the fluid restriction of 1500ml.  With her spinal cord injury she has to drain her bladder manually and this should not be done extremely frequently to avoid complications.  Therefore the patient should not drink excessively.  Unfortunately her urine output did not decrease much with the fluid restriction and therefore it looks like she has something called “diabetes insipidus”.  It is a condition that can happen with brain trauma that reduces the levels of “antidiuretic hormone” or “ADH”.  This hormone acts on the kidneys to allow them to reabsorb water so that it is not lost into the urine and is the reason we don’t drink and pee constantly.  In any case, Jitka is being treated for this, and actually the over production of another hormone called “prolactin”-I’ll let you figure out what that one does.  She had a pretty nasty response to one of the medications and was vomiting quite a bit.  I spoke with Dr. Beauman and it looks like they are going to stop or cut back significantly on the med that made her sick.  Hopefully that will do the trick and there is nothing else going on.  Dr. Beauman was extremely kind.  He even gave me his cell phone number! I promise not to abuse it!  It is just so hard to try to understand what is happening through little tidbits from Jitka.  She has enough on her mind.

Jitka has been fortunate to have so many visitors from out of town.  It means alot to her that so many would come from so far.  I think that it is good for everyone.  I know that seeing her improvement at my last visit set my own heart at ease.  Hers too, I hope.

Otherwise, Jani is back in Greenville, trying to make arrangements for Jitka’s return.  We are still working on trying to buy that house next door-hopefully things will progress expeditiously as Jitka’s projected discharge is toward the end of January.  There’s alot of work to do between now and then.  Thank you to all that have offered help.  Right now, it is just a matter of waiting on the paper work.  Our friend, David Lever  is in real estate and has been working tirelessly with Jani to arrange the purchase and repair of the home.  David has done so much; I don’t know how to thank him.  God bless you, David, if you are reading this.

Well, I think I’ll stop there.  We’ll keep you posted on any new developments.  For now, I think that no news is good news.  I think that I have had all of the “news” that my coronary arteries can handle in the past two months.  I have been comforted by the tremendous outpouring of support.  We all have.  Thank you all so very, very much.

Have fun Christmas shopping!  Take care,

Kal

Hello Everyone,

I can’t log on with the lap top for the time being and the promised pictures are still to come….

Jitka is working on transfer form chair to bed moving.  She had craft class, and tomorrow she will be taken out of the hospital the first time.  Hopefully to the cinema.  Shepherd Center is making an excellent job making it available for people to do what they love doing. 

She is very seriously thinking having her hair cut very short.  The lock in her hair from the blood and being bed ridden just don’t want to go away.  That will be a different look for sure!

Rowan went to eat pizza today with his new friend Cali today.  Encsi is being looked after by Megan.  It has been a wonderful two hours with the children screaming around!

I will be back in Greenville to get some stuff done.  Will do a nice update with pictures here from there.  In the mean time, THANK YOU for everything!!!

I am tired of Kal’s bad English again.  So here I am sending out a quick update.  It is a such a happiness for me to see Jitka looking forward to things. She is so happy to hear friends coming to visit her. Today Marsha and Steve flew down from MA to visit. This was perfect timing for me since today I had to spend time in training to learn how to take care of daily activities that her injury requires tending to.  Also I had an opportunity to spend more time with her today since Megan and Melissa were looking after the kids. I need to mention here that Jitka’s water intake has been restricted again. She’s been taking in more than necessary fluids and we have to keep an eye on how much she drinks. Her appetite is fair, and she is happy to roll down to the cafeteria to spend lunchtime with us. I have a picture later for you of Rowan pushing her wheelchair (to be posted later). Her bones are nearly healed (with occasional pain still), but unfortunately there is a recurring wound from a skin graft on her leg that was accidently ripped open that continues to weep. Hopefully that will heal soon as well. Now we have to start thinking about what she will need once she leaves the hospital setting. It is amazing how many issues there are to think of. Soon we will need a to-do list. Jitka just realized today that she would need a wheelchair once she reaches Greenville. Part of her thought that she had time to shop around for awhile. She enjoys the attention and daily emails and cards she gets from people and she repeatedly asks me to thank you all for your kindness. I believe her memory is improving greatly now. She showed me how to erase pictures from our digital camera and we will have more pictures to upload soon.

 Please forgive me for the infrequent updates. At this point her progress is slower as she learns to power herself in a wheelchair and gains the strength to move her body with her upper arms. So medically we are not seeing the rapid improvement on a daily basis that we were seeing before, but important progress is still being made. She has made friends with many of the staff at the Shepherd Center.

She is very thankful of all the encouragement from her co-workers from the Brody School of Medicine. She is looking forward to being back on the job again. Today for the first time she had her contact lenses again so she can start typing more easily. Thanks to all of the medical school faculty and students for their support!

It will take a long time for us to thank everyone individually for all their acts of kindiness. I would like to take the opportunity to express my gratitude to our neighborhood, MacGregor Downs, for their wonderful support. They have given us so much in these past weeks. Watch out I’m coming home for a few days soon! 

I would very much like to thank Susan and Kevin in Seabrook, TX for organizing a benefit concert/party for Jitka. They were our neighbors when Jitka worked at NASA. Please see below info if you are in the Houston area.

  A Christmas Charity Benefit for

Jitka Virag 

December 22, 2007  from 7 pm until …

2409 Duhon Place, Lake Cove

Seabrook, Texas

 281-326-0193       sukreag@yahoo.com 

 In October of the year, our dear friend Jitka was badly injured when she was struck by a car while bicycling.  She has suffered T4-5 spinal cord injury damage and is currently in Rehabilitation in Atlanta, Georgia. 

On December 22^nd we will be having our Third Annual Christmas Party.  As in the past we will have appetizers and cocktails, as well as live music, caroling and a hayride with Santa.  This year we request that you allow us to provide you with all of the festivities and in return we would like you to open your hearts and make a donation that we can send to the Jitka Virag Recovery Fund. 

We will be holding a Silent Auction from 6 p.m. until 9 p.m. with donated items including a brand new Nintendo WII, original art work, and professional services.  Donations can also be made directly to : The Jitka Virag Recovery Fund Trust, RBC Centura Bank, 2390 Stantonsburg Road, Greenville, NC 27834.  Routing #053 100 850, Acct #0255412250. 

Please join us for an evening of Christmas Cheer and in the opportunity of helping the Virag family this Holiday Season!

Hello all, this is Kal again. 

Well, as soon as I finished writing the last update, I went back downstairs and spent some time with Jitka while she did her occupational therapy.  Essentially, they are teaching her to do all the things that she will need to do to survive at home.  Monday, it was “learn to put on pants day”.  They had an elastic band tied around her legs to simulate pants, and she had to pull it up from the ankles to her waste, and then back down.  She tried so, so hard.  Imagine doing that without the use of your abdominal or low back muscles-let alone your legs.  She struggled for about 15 minutes with it, and then tears welled up in her eyes.  She had the choice of balancing on a barely healed fractured left elbow, or wiggling around her healing right shoulder blade.  She blamed the tears on pain in those bones and her shoulders, but I  suspect they came from a deeper place.    I smiled and kissed her on the forehead and told her she was doing a magnificent job.  She truly was.  Inside, my heart was crinkling like a tin can.  Fortunately, her will is iron.

I would like to take a moment to talk about the “Beauman team”.  Headed by Dr. Brock Beauman, these folks at Shepherd know what they are doing.  More importantly, Jitka adores them.  They have her in therapy starting early in the morning and going straight through into the late afternoon.  They meticulously and compassionately address each and every need she may have for a successful and expeditious recovery.  In the beginning I wondered if we needed her to make the trip to Atlanta, but now I know there is no place any of us would rather she be.  Thank you to all of the wonderful doctors, nurses and physical and occupational therapists whom I had the pleasure of meeting this weekend.  Especially the “Tylenol girls” as Jitka has endearingly named them.  (She needs tylenol shortly after her sessions with them.)  Everyone at Shepherd Center is so skilled, and we were met at every corner with a smile. Thank you for taking care of our precious Jitka.  God bless you all.

I received an e-mail invitation to a benefit dance on Wolfe Island for Jitka.  It will take place on January 25th, which happens to be Jitka’s 38th birthday.  I would like to thank Jitka’s dear friends Mandy and Lori for organizing that. I am amazed at the wonderful things that everyone is doing to help out.  When something like this happens, it is overwhelming.  I honestly don’t know what we would do without everyone’s support.  We sincerely thank you.

Yesterday, the last remnants of the ICU were removed.  On monday, her ”button” was removed, and the wound in her neck from the tracheostomy is expected to heal quickly over the next week or two.  Yesterday, they removed her feeding tube which went directly into her stomach through the skin.  She was pleased with that-no doubt.

Jani is hanging in there.  He has come down with a little bit of a cold.  He blames it on me, jokingly, as I stood next to Rowan whose nose was running like the Mississippi.  Their friends Todd and Megan have been kind enough to give them the key to their home while Jitka is in Atlanta.  We are sincerely grateful for that too.  Not only that, but I am sure that many of you have received e-mails from them regarding what Jitka, Jani and the kids might need.  They have been instrumental in coordinating the efforts to help them out.  They’re awesome.

Okay.  I am long-winded again.  Sorry.  God bless everyone, and have a good night.  I hope everyone is looking forward to the holidays, and you will all certainly be in the prayers of the Virag and Ismail families.

A hetveget Jitka a tesverevel es ket barattal toltotte.  Vettek a fiuk neki egy karacsonyfat es ajandekokat ala a gyerekeknek.  Ezek a haverok akik ide jottek mindjart a baleset utan a Jitka felepulesere iranyulo alapitvanyt nyitottak ki.  Es szinten segitkeznek a hazvasarlassal.  Jo hogy vannak ilyen haverok. 

Ahol Texasban laktunk ott koncertet szerveztek december 22-re/itallal/tanccal/kajaval.  Az abbol befolyo osszeget is a Jitka helyzetenek javulasara kuldik.  Tovabba, ott ahol a a szulei laknak Kanadaban, Januar 25-en – Jitka szulinapjan lesz sajt es borkostolas, 2 koncert, es ital -etel.  Ezek az emberek is atutalasra szanjak a bevetelt. 

De remeljuk egy kis szerencsevel mar aprilisra en is tudok munkaba allni.  Meg itt kell lenni Atlantaban 5-6 hetet.  Utanna valahogy visszakolozunk egy napra a regi hazba.  Abba amit Jitka “otthonnak” tud.  Addigra rendbe kell tennunk egy masik hazat amelyik toloszekesnek van epetve es berendezve. 

Ma lett a torokcso kiveve belole veglegesen.  A gyomraban az etetocsovet meg bennehagytak.

De most elhagyhatja az emeletet.  Le is mentunk a kajaldaba.

Most szombaton kezdodik nekem az oktatasom itt a korhazban.  Megtanitjak hogyan kell rendben es tisztan tartani Jitkat. Es azontul a beontest es kateterezest is.  Ez 3 es fel napos kis talpalo, de nem tudom hova tenni minden alkalommal a gyerekeket. 

Egy jo fodraszt kuldjetek mert ha nem akkor levagatja a halyat total rovidre.  Osszecsomosodott a feje tetejen, es kihullott a tarkojan.  Ebbol lehet en jovok ki hosszabb hajjal:)

Minden jot

j

Hi everyone!  Sorry it has been so long, but I couldn’t pull myself away from Jitka.  We have had a wonderful weekend together.  I arrived Friday, and have spent pretty much every allowable hour with her since!  She is doing terrifically.  Initially, I was afraid that she was remaining so positive because she wanted to protect us.  Now, I know that she is just pure strength. Still, unbelievably, her main concern is that WE had to go through everything that we did with her.  I have not heard a complaint from her yet.

Last night, I brought “Panera Bread” for her and she had a chicken sandwich and a greek salad.  She was telling everybody for the next several hours, until this morning, actually, that she had a tomato yesterday and it was soooo good!  After the respiratory therapist left the room, she looked at me and said:  “He probably thinks I’ve lost my marbles, but that was a damn good tomato.”

My friends Lou and Neil came in late Friday and stayed all of Saturday.  We went and got a christmas tree for her room, and they bought a bunch of presents for the kids.  We sat and talked all day long and told stories and laughed.  It was so nice to hear her laugh.  She is just so happy to be alive.  She’ll decorate the tree with the kids when they get back today.

Well, our Jitka is with us.  She is wonderful.  I am inspired by her strength and positivity.  We were alone for most of the day friday and we talked about alot of things.  We shared laughter and tears; but tears of relief and gratefulness that we have this time together.  That we will have these times together.

Take care everyone.  Hopefully she will be updating this website herself very soon.

Thanks again for all of your love and support.

Kal

Don’t ask why, just wanted to put this picture here.  Might take it off soon.

Ne kerdezd miert, csak ezt ide akartam tenni. Lehet leveszem nem sokara.

1. Rowan and Encsi

The World is about to turn:

A vilag a fejere fordult

Like you never imagined

Ahogy soha el nem kepzeltuk

Airlifted to Atlanta

Atlantaba indulas

Thanksgiving Day

Egy itteni unnep: Halaadas Napja

Life goes on

Az elet megy tovabb

with LOVE

szeretettel

My last update from MI.  Tomorrow, I’ll be in Atlanta with Jitka.  She is doing well.  I spoke with her yesterday morning, and she said that she woke up and felt great, and all of a sudden felt chilled, and a weakness came over her body.  She said they sent her urine for culture.  I knew already that she had a urinary infection.  She is on antibiotics now, and doing better.  When I spoke with her I was driving to work.  There was a beautiful sunrise, and I described it to her.  We agreed that the world is indeed gorgeous. I took a picture of it with my phone so that I can show her tomorrow.  I cannot wait.

Jani told me that they were together for a few hours yesterday.  She played with the kids, and finally, after some time said “I’m so happy to be here…”  We are too.  So glad.

Somewhat oddly, there is a house directly next door to Jitka and Jani’s current house that was built and designed by a gentleman who was paraplegic.  It has been on sale and uninhabited for almost 3 years.  As their current house has all bedrooms and baths upstairs, it is not an option for her anymore.  We have taken steps toward purchasing it.  The problem is that is needs alot of work.  Alot of work.  There is significant water damage and it needs new ceilings, paint, flooring and roof repair.  Time is kind of working against us.

Many have asked if they could sponsor Jitka’s family for Christmas.  We tremendously appreciate this generosity.  Jani has assured me that he and Jitka’s friends in Atlanta have plans for making this a very special Christmas.  I would ask, then, that if anyone wishes to contribute to Jitka’s family, please direct it to her recovery fund.  We have spoken to several experts on the subject, and it would appear that the health insurance company will likely take any insurance settlement that Jitka might receive from either the driver’s insurance or her own.  The likelihood is that she will face rebuilding her life with a stack of medical bills.  It makes me sick, but it would seem that the only way to stand a chance of making it through something like this is to be hurt by Bill Gates.  Ironically, just today I spoke with a patient who had been in 2 car accidents.  The first thing that she said was “You don’t get any money like they say you do on TV.”   In any case, I do not wish to ask anyone to give; but only to explain what Jitka really needs to those whom have asked me to do so.

The trust info is as follows: The Jitka Virag Recovery Fund Trust, RBC Centura Bank, 2390 Stantonsburg road, Greenville, NC 27834.  Routing #053 100 850, Acct. #0255412250.

I continue to receive encouraging e-mails from so many wonderful people.  I thank you, and as I said, I will collate them and give them to Jitka.  It is still difficult for her to be in contact with everyone, but she repeatedly asks us to thank you all for your unbelievable kindness.

Thank you all, and Goodnight. 

One quick update before I need to head back to NC for a few days.  Jitka actually should be able to do her own updates here by next week. 

She is learning to use a self powered wheel chair.  It will take a while to get used to it she said.  Also, she is allowed to sit up to a higher degree now, instead of the 30 degrees she was until yesterday.  I will upload some photos soon, now that she is able to “sensor” them.

All the best.

J

Yesterday Jitka said bye to the trach. Now she has a so called “button”. Keeps the accessibility, but acts as a closed device, so Jitka has to breath through her nose. 

We had a “family conference” yesterday with her doctor.  Had to hear about her injuries and chances.  It was very emotional, but as before, she received everything she had to hear with great dignity.  Long and hard road ahead of all of us for sure.  However, she was assured they will teach her here even to scuba dive or drive again if that is what she wishes.  For the time being she is just getting stronger and trying to learn how to balance for sitting without having control of her stomach muscles.    

This place (Shepherd) is full with broken hearts and yet great success stories.  We are certain Jitka will take full advantage of what is offered from the people and experience they have to offer. It is very important to live with this opportunity while the injury is fresh.  We hope to able to be around her as much as we can to give her support and strength when she needs it. 

Hello all, this is Kal.  I just got off the phone with Jitka.  I am so extremely proud of her.  She is so strong.  She is remaining so positive!  I held the phone up and tickled Kellan (my 6 month old son) and he let out a fit of hysterical little baby laughter.  When I put it back to my ear, Jitka was laughing the same way.  So good to hear.

On a medical note, they took her tracheostomy out today.  That is a terrific step.  She is still working on swallowing, though.  They have her fairly restricted when it comes to liquids.  She loves her water.  We talked a bit about how powerul a sensation that thirst could be.  She told the nurse: ” I would tell you what is wrong but my tongue is stuck to the  roof of my mouth.”  At least she can joke about it. 

Jitka is always stating and restating how grateful she is for everyone’s support.  I hope that she will be able to participate a little more in the blog.  It is still a little difficult for her to talk on the phone.  That, in addition to the fact that they have her in therapy for pretty much the entire day.  She says it is like “boot-camp”.  She is glad to be learning to once again become independent.  She has always been the epitome of independence-she will be again.

Have a good night, everyone.  Look forward to hearing from you all.  If there are any messages that you would like to send to Jitka, just attach them to the blog, or feel free to e-mail me at kal.ismail1@gmail.com.

Jitka wrote a note to post here:

“The impressions and care you have instilled upon me are so valuable, they give me strength to work to continue my journey.  Every minute you give me thought gives me strength and warmth to hope that I will sense you again.  Even though I likely won’t recall so many of the individual kindnesses you are showing me, please know that the impact of your contributions is very greatly appreciated.”

Csak a legfontosabbat: Boldog szulinapot Editnek, Jennynek, Nandinak, Peternek, Palinak!  Es boldog nevnapot a kedves Erzsiknek akiket ismerunk (es akiket nem), Katalinoknak es Andrasoknak!  Ezt Jitka es en egyutt kuldjuk!  A tobbit hozza el a Telapo – ha nics zsakja akkor a zacskojaba. Azontul ha jol emlekszem akkor most volt Emma nap is.  Meg sok boldogsagot nekik is. 

Ha mar itt irogatok magyarul akkor elmondom, hogy Jitka bal oldali mozgasa annyira javult hogy a bal kezevel megerintheti a homlokat.  Probalta ma aloszor a fogat mosni.  De csak hatradolve, torolkozovel a mellkasan tudta.  Naponta  ketszer-haromszor toloszekbe emeli a plafonra szerelt kis daru.  Igy Rowan mar egyszer az olebe is ulhetett. 

Nagyon meghatotta es koszoni szepen a lapot amit olyan sokan alairtatok. Azt mondja az ilyen szemelyes figyelem es aggodas ami atsegiti a gondolatain es napjain.

Be ready to hear (read) something from Jitka very soon.  She asked me for a note pad and pen today! 

She had a towel on her chest and was trying to clean her teeth today as we arrived for our morning visit.  Of course it is normal to think brushing our own teeth can be taken for granted.  For her, it was such a proud moment.  We had a good laugh when I ended up finishing the job for her and covered myself with “stuff”….

She was also happy to notice her left arm mobility allowed her to touch her forehead with her left hand. 

She is still on thick liquid diet as far as fluids go.  Today I was allowed to bring her a mango smoothie.  She was SO happy about it.

The kids and I are staying at our friends’ (Melissa and Charlie) house until tomorrow.  We are invited to move in with Todd and Meg as well, but I am afraid of dropping gears and getting lazy if we do so – those guys are already babysitting/cooking for/feeding/supporting us as is.  I am afraid of getting too comfortable.  Next thing you know I am sleeping 8 hrs a night….

Jitka has Sunday “off”.  Nothing on her schedule.  So lets hope she rounds up a couple of thoughts and sends out a note to be published here.  If she won’t, I’ll just pretend she did and write a bunch of good stuff about myself:)

I spend a lot of time with Jitka yesterday.  Twice I was with her with the kids and once by myself. She was lifted onto an electric wheelchair with a ceiling mounted hoist and came along with us to a family room to watch the kids play.  She already has been taught how to drive the wheelchair and is doing a good job at it.  I had a plan to sit to a table together for dinner, but by the evening came she was out of energy to move around.  So I made a makeshift “dining area” and spent dinner time together. 

I have put all her well-wishers’ cards on the wall..  Her room has a TV, but she prefers not to watch it. She said she likes to think of all the people supporting her now.  She is basically digesting what she is up against in her future.   I told her she is entitled to be sad, angry, and mad.  She is entitled to anything.  But she has to find a different folder for all her feelings. I just asked her to open a new folder too and look at her situation as an opportunity to do something new. Let it be research related or music related.  Let it be anything, but there must be something she can look forward to even though her mobility has been taken away. She is so fragile and humble now.  She certainly is a changed person. 

Her voice is getting stronger.  The trach is still in, so is the feeding tube.  She is not receiving narcotics anymore.  She is in physical pain, but slowly less and less.  I hope being around her sometime we can help her days go happier.  This is a huge rehab center. Experts and nurses are great. You can look it up on their web page, I am not going to write too much about it.  We are out of our routine here and the children are making me feel it!

Hi all, it is Kal again.  I spoke with Jitka very briefly today.  She says that she is learning alot at Shepherd.  She is in good spirits, but I think that she is intentionally keeping the conversations superficial.  I’ll let her set the pace.  Yesterday, she was telling me how she could still hear and feel us and still feel our kisses and love us, and she was grateful for that.  So am I.  She has so much to be thankful for. We all do.  When I spoke to her today, she had a full house there.  Jani and the kids were there, and her friend Todd answered the phone.  I am so glad that her friends Todd and Megan and Mellisa are there.  Jani drove there with the kids.  He started yesterday and got there today.

I took my nephrology boards yesterday.  I was remarkably relaxed about it.  It is amazing how one’s perspective changes.  Had none of this happened, I would have been a nervous  reck about it.  I couldn’t have cared less.  I felt like I was playing a video game.  Jitka actually apologized that I was distracted.  Can you believe that?

“When my voice gets stronger, I am going to tell you how much beer to bring me.”  That’s the ticket.  Just a forewarning, in the spring, with Jani’s permission, and if Jitka is up to it, we are gonna throw a huge welcome home party for her.  A New Orleans style “crawfish boil” if we can find’em in NC. (that was Neil’s idea, but I’m gonna run with it.) So plan on it.

Jitka had a moment outside in her wheelchair today.  She said she enjoyed the fresh air, but it tired her out.

Well, that is about all that I have to report for today.  I would like to send our love and thanks, on behalf of the whole family.

Goodnight,

Kal

Jitka had a nice experience getting out in the fresh air from the hospital on her way to the airport.  She told me she really enjoyed the smell of the air.   The aircrew arrived a little early.  I had to scramble to get Rowan to the hospital on time to say bye to  Jitka.  Teresa was kind enough (again) to come to our house at 6:30AM to babysit.  When came to time to depart she drove Rowan to the emergency and left Encsi with Crystal – who has also been a tremendous help with the kids. Rowan and I had the opportunity to say bye to her on the small Beachcraft airplane.  Jess accompanied her for the ride and helped her with getting situated at her new room.  I am going to start driving there today and going to take all her cards and notes you sent her. 

I can not write anything about Shepherd Center yet. It will be a couple of days before I have a chance to ask Jitka and look around myself.  Now I am getting my thoughts together what to take to Jitka and for the kids.  It will be a lot of driving to and from Atlanta for the next coming weeks.  Will try to keep this blog up to date as well as I can. 

I have got so accustomed to driving to the hospital few times a day here, that it feels strange this morning not to do so.

Wow, what a day so far.  She managed to yank her trach out….  Needed to take a lot of mucus from her plugged up lungs.  It seems like it is better to have it reinserted.  She could not get her oxygen saturation up to desired level without it. Way too much coughing today.  I hope she will get better soon.  It hurts me to see her in pain. 

Jitka got very tired today.  Toward the end of the day her care nurse Ashly tried to pretty Jitka’s hair.  She still has two large chunk of hair totally stuck together and tainted with blood.  It will be nice to be able to wash her hair again. She needs a good rest for sure.  If all goes well, the air ambulance will pick her up in the morning and fly her to Atlanta. 

Okay, my turn.  I have been so thrilled to hear Jitka’s voice again.  She started talking again a couple of days ago and I had the chance to speak with her twice.  It still tires her out significantly, so I try to keep it brief.  She has so much to say!  I can’t imagine what she has saved up for almost a month!  I was so happy when I first spoke with her that I was walking around the hospital and I wanted to tell everyone whom I came across that ” I spoke to Jitka today!”  But most of them don’t know who she is or why it is so important. 

As far as medical progress, Jani has pretty much covered that.  The hypernatremia has subsided, but she is still working on swallowing.  They are still not quite ready to give her  the thin liquids.   Other than that, she is doing wonderfully from a respiratory standpoint and Dr. Newell has said that she has made great leaps of progress.  He was terrific through this whole thing, along with Dr. Goodwin.

Jitka, the goof, thanked me for coming to see her.  I told her that she is crazy.  Also, she asked me and Jani to thank all of the people that have sent well-wishes and prayers and helped out.  Also crazy, but more from a logistic standpoint.  She has no idea how many wonderful people have come to her aid.  I am going to work on collating all of the e-mails that everyone has sent us, along with the blog.  I am sure she will be astounded and elated to read them.  I also wanted to thank my best friends, Neil and Lou who came down the first week and were dynamos as far as looking into her benefits and figuring out how her family is going to make ends meet while she is recovering.  More than that, they cared enough to know that I needed them, even though I told them that I would be fine.  I wasn’t fine.   I don’t feel that I deserve to  have been blessed with such amazing “brothers”.  But as her strength grows with each passing day, so does mine.

Jitka has such a terrific attitude.  She knows what she faces, and that it will be tough.  Despite this, she remains positive.  “I’ll be SCUBA diving in 2 months.” she said.  “Let’s go somewhere with seahorses.”  “Fiji.” I replied, “We’re going to Fiji.”  I think that Jani and the kids will be so glad to have her back home, though.  I’ll have to wait my turn.  I’ll wait.

Finally, Jani has been unbelievable.  For all the s–t I gave him before they got married! I couldn’t imagine another man at my sister’s side.  He is such a good man.  I know that he has what it takes to get her through this, but I worry about him.  I am going to rely on our friends in NC to look out for him when I am not there.  Keep me posted! You know that he is so stubborn when it comes to accepting help, and I don’t want him to burn out. 

I am long-winded.  I sat down wondering what I was going to type; and look. 

Thank you all so much for your support, and for following along with her progress.  It has meant the world to us.  Please keep praying with us.

Gratefully,

Kal

I will write a more detailed update later.  For now, I just would like to send out this note on her rehab news: Nearly 100% sure that she will be air-lifted to Atlanta on Monday.  She will start rehab there at the Shepherd Center.

Con’t.: Well, I am all excited about Jitka’s progress.  She has improved so much within the last week.  She is eating her meals and talking up a storm now.  Of course, the meals are small and takes her two hours for half of it to eat, and it takes a rather hard effort to form words and careful listening to hear them. But she is getting there!  Now she will be off to this wonderful facility to learn to function with her spinal cord injury.  We are very thankful for Rose, (social woker at the PCM Hospital) and the BlueCross insurance/staff who made it possible.  I will try to post here her departure details in case any of you who are here in NC want to wish her farewell at the Greenville airport, or wave out of your windows:) 

I have another information I mention tonight.  Our friend Dave and a local lawfirm spent a considerable amount of time to create a Trust for Jitka.  It is called Jitka Virag Recovery Fund Trust.  Thank you for all who were involved in this work and those who contributed to it.  It is opened at the RBC Centura Bank, 2390 Stantonsburg Rd., Greenville NC 27834. The routing number is 053 100 850, and the account number is 025 5412250.  If any of you need any information on the Trust please e-mail me at jani.virag@gmail.com 

Good night.  Jani

Jitka had a good hair day.  Her mom cleaned and combed her hair for three hours.  Most of the dreadlocks are out. She looks very nice.  Trying hard to learn to eat.  It takes a lot of concentration not to make a mistake.  Oh, if she would know what she is missing – that tasty hospital food sure could make her day. 

She asked me today to send an e-mail to those who came or offered to come to help us.  I told her that there is no way I can remember how many times I have been offered help.  So please allow me to extend her very sincere gratitude to all of you.  

I am so proud of her strength.  She took the news of her prognosis with the greatest dignity one can do.  I promised her we will find joy, and I will do everything possible to give the smiles that were taken away from us back to her.  Thank you very much for understanding the importance of letting her take time to heal.  During the last 5 days I have restricted visitation to her.  She just needed the time to rest.  There is never a stretch of time long enough in her situation where she can  relax or sleep for 3 hrs – day or night.  We all have he same goal of getting her well and strong again.  So if you see her, please limit your time to a few minutes.  Her memory is still a challenge.  Today I asked her to tell me how to get to our house from the hospital.  She could not recall.  Also, she asked me again the location of the accident.  I believe this was the fifth time I told her about it.  On the positive side, she knew what she did before the accident.  She remembered first time today that she bicycled to the supermarket before heading home. 

I have had some great help with the domestic work during the last 6 days.  Julie, Megan, Marsha and Steve – some of the “old” Seattle friends flew in, along with Jitka’s parents, and helped me catch up with floors, laundry, bathrooms.  Can you come back soon, please? :) 

Today the hospitalized part of our family went to see Dr. Susan for our flu shots. The kids didn’t even cry, but I had some problems….  next time I’ll try harder.  This was my first flu shot, until now I used to use a totally different type.  The shot that came from a neat little glass instead of the needle.  Thank you Dr. Susan, but I’ll probably going to go back to the old way of flu prevention next year.

I am happy Jitka is getting better.  Unfortunately she is still in such a great pain. Her back and shoulder hurts her greatly.

It is an Ambien night.  Popped it ten minutes ago and it is already in the works….   Our love to you!  Jani  
 

Hello everyone, 

I managed to beat CoolKal to the update again! Great to be have so much time!!!  

The speech therapists today inserted a camera line through Jitka’s nose to monitor the way she swallows different types of food.  She needed to evaluated on water, ice, milk, pudding, apple sauce, sandwich, cookie, a soda, grape and orange juice.  Just a little amount of each of course.  She did well with all, except the water, ice, and milk.  Will try those again in a week.  In the mean time she will be cleared to have some amounts of a regular meal.  Her high viscosity drinks will need to be thickened.

It is time to think about what decission to make about rehabilitation.  The Pitt County Memorial Hospital – where she currently is – has a great rehab center.  It seems like we won’t need to move to any other location in the country for rehab, however we keep that option open.  I would like to make sure she gets the best possibly chance to make her life easier.  She can start full rehab in a couple of weeks.  Her broken bones need a little more time in order to support her. It is also time for me to look for an appropriate wheelchair accessible van and house.  For that reason, it would be great if we could stay here for the few weeks of rehab. 

Two more important thoughts:  Her sodium is on the right track, it was 144 last time I have seem the lab results.  Also, she does not dump her her fluid at such high rate any longer. 

Every day I could make a list of people to thank.  Please don’t think I am forgetting any of you!  Thank you now, and will thank all of you again!  I am sorry for not being able to reply to phone calls and e-mails. I am truly planning to catch up on that!  I do appreciate them!

Jani

Good evening, everyone!  This is Kal again.  I told Jani that I would update tonight, but I guess he thought that I had fallen asleep. (he is usually right)  He left out the best news, though!  Jitka was off the ventilator today.  I am told that they took it out of the room entirely.  That is a huge step toward recovery.  Now, the main thing that I am worried about is the amount of urine that she is making.  8 liters yesterday.  Funny, I spend the better part of my life worrying about people not making enough urine (I am a kidney specialist for those who don’t know me). I am thinking that she is just getting rid of all of the salt water that they gave her to support her through the surgeries (a solute diuresis, if you will).  Sometimes when you do that, the kidneys become “washed out”, and one loses the ability to concentrate the urine and therefore conserve water.  The urine output remains high in order to excrete the salt, and there is obligatory, yet inappropriate loss of water. Hence, her serum sodium is up to 150 (normal is 140).   This leads to a tremendous sensation of thirst, which remains her primary complaint.  The speech therapists have not yet cleared her to swallow, and therefore she may not drink.  As Jani said, they give the water throught the feeding tube.  Hopefully her sodium will come down with that and the horrible feeling of thirst will abate.  I felt so helpless sitting there with her as she begged and begged for water.  You would think that it would be such a simple thing to do.  Swallow.  Nonetheless, we gave her none, and I don’t think that she has forgiven me yet.  I told her I would buy her an ice-cold case of aquafina once the speech path folks gave me the green light.  That, and some Warsteiner.  She rolled her eyes.

I can’t tell you how overjoyed I was to be with my sister again.  We all get so busy with life, and put off the phone call or the visit.  If anyone takes anything from this blog, let it be that you must charish each moment with your loved ones.  Recognize the happiness that they bring.  You truly cannot imagine what life would be like without that person, until you face something like this.  Thank God that I have a second chance with my sister.  Most importantly, little Ro-Ro and Encsi have their mommy.

Goodnight,

Kal

Today she had a nice progress.  She had her trach reduced to 4mm diameter.  Also, she has a speaking valve – it sure has a better name… – installed.  That is great!  I heard her voice first time in four weeks.  I could barely hear it, but i could make out what she said with my ear next to her. Her memory is coming back too.   I talked to her about her injury today.  She took it very bravely.  We will need to talk more about it of course.  I just didn’t want her to hear it form someone else. 

Her IV has been cut off for the reason of having sodium in the fluid, which she has a lot of without getting more…  She receives water through her feeding tube. 

I told her about the all sorts of kind gestures that we receive from people. She is very moved by them.  I beleive tomorrow she will get a ride in the “pink Cadillac”, which is a wheel chair for riding on her floor.  Just a little sight-seeing.  Sleeping pill is down and working – good night! Jani

Hello everyone, this is Kal again.  I wanted to wait for the next update until I spoke with the Doctors.  I spoke with Dr. Weibel, the trauma surgeon today.  He kindly answered all of my questions.  Jitka had a skin graft placed on the wound on her right leg on friday morning.  That went well.  She was later to have a percutaneous enterogastric tube placed
(a feeding tube that goes straight through the abdominal wall into her stomach, rather than through her nose or mouth).  The procedure was aborted when she developed a large amount of air in her abdominal cavity.  This could mean that they accidentally injured the colon, or that the air from the insufflation of the stomach simply leaked into the abdominal cavity.  In any case, they decided to take her to the operating room urgently to open her belly and take a look at the bowel.  Fortunately, everything was intact and it was simply the gas from the procedure. 

Mervie and I got into Greenville at about 1:30 am on Saturday and I went straight to the hospital.  She smiled when I came in.  I was literally overcome with joy to be sitting and talking with her again.  I told her that it had been too long since we sat and talked- just the two of us. She lipped out that the she wished we had some red wine.  No joke. She asked me “What happened to me?”  Jani has told her, but she forgets, and is traumatized every time she hears it.  I told her that I would sit down and explain the whole thing when she was more fit to talk and she wasn’t getting all of these medications to make her forget.   I told her I want to make it as easy as possible on her.  She nodded and said “I appreciate that”.   I told her that I have a scrap book with pictures and an account of everything that has happened.  I’ll give it to her when she is ready.  Not yet.  She lipped the words “I can’t move my toes.” My heart sunk into my chest.  I explained to her that she is going to have alot of work ahead of her.  She will only get as well as she believes she can, and we are all going to do everything in our power to make sure that she does it.  She put up her arms and replied “super-Jitka!”  That’s the spirit!  Minutes turned into hours and before I knew it, we had both fallen asleep.  I woke up in the chair at 6:30 am when the resident came in to round on her.

For all that is going on with her, her main complaint is that she is thirsty.  Really thirsty.  She will do or say anything to get a glass of water in her hand.  I feel so bad for her.  Her sodium had crept up to about 147 yesterday (normal is 140, the higher, the more dehydrated), and so she was feeling as dry as a bone.  She can’t swallow yet and we don’t want her to develop pneumonia again from fluids going down the wrong pipe, and so she can’t drink water.  I was using a sponge with some ice chips in it to swab her mouth and she keeps reaching for it as if to say “don’t trouble yourself, I’ll take care of it.”  As soon as she gets her hand on that cup it goes straight for her mouth.  Her tenacity remains intact.  I spoke with Dr. Weibel about some free water replacement and he assured me that they were on top of it.

Last night (saturday), she had a horrible episode of coughing.  She was coughing for about three hours and then began vomiting.  Jani stayed with her until she fell asleep, and that required a bit more sedation.  She became quite confused with the sedation and began tugging at her trach and tubes this morning.  She just does not like that stuff.  She was having trouble with breathing off of the vent, and so they had to put her back on.  By the afternoon, she was more comfortable and back to herself again.  Just a little step back, but a small battle in this war-a war that she is winning. 

Thank you all again for your love and support.  You are all in my prayers every night. 

Have a good night,

Kal

Hi- It’s Meg McDevitt, visiting…Just a quick note:  Jitka has had a couple surgeries in recent days, in addition to many visitors (including me) and we have been advised the Jitka’s visitor’s as of now, are being limited so that she can rest.  It was so good, very hard, but good.  Jitka recognized us, and tried to communicate, but we are left mostly reading her lips, which is frustrating for all parties.  She looks like “our” Jitka and was concerned that they had rustled her hair.  She was clearly asking for “betty help” with the hairstyle she was left with.    Personally, I was just so happy to see her and her smile.   She wanted to have her hand held and loved it when Julie caressed the inside of her palm….and her spunk is still there.   Steve and Marsha arrived a bit after us and she was happy to see more Seattle faces.   Her strength amazes me (and us), but is not surprising if you know our girl.  Marsha and Steve are here until Monday and Julie and I were here until Tuesday.   If there is anything that we learn that people can help with, we will pass the information along.  The good news, Jitka was off her vent for over 9 hours today.  She is bothered by her trach and we hope that her condition allows for doctors to reduce the size of the trach.  She had four very hard hours this evening, coughing (it seemed like she had swallowed a lot of air).  She seems to be more comfortable now.The sores on her back seem to be getting better.    We are very grateful for the care she received from her nurses and respiratory specialists.    She was excited to see the kids, her brother, and her sister-in-law, in addition to the new faces that arrived today.  Thank you everyone for your support, visiting has reminded me that we all need to be available for the long hall… we need to continue to support our girl!  Love, Meg 

Wow, thank you for all the kindness we are getting from everyone.  It is just really overwhelming.  Thank you. One day I will thank you all individually.

Jitka had a very busy day today.  You will be able to read the proper update soon.  Kal with the right terminology will let you know the details.  I just would like to mention that she had two procedures planned for today.  One was the skin graft for her right leg, and the other was the insert of the feeding tube (peg-tube) through the wall of her stomach.  There was some worry for her well being during the second operation.  Her operating physician took all precautions to keep her safe and the procedure successful.  She is now in the recovery room.  That is all I can say now.

I would like to mention here a very important thing regarding visitation.  Jitka  still suffers from memory loss.  We all have to be very careful and tactful  what and how we talk to her about.  She stresses out greatly from not being able to remember  what she’s been talked to about.  She does not remember names of old friends and neighbors.  This is an issue that will come to an end very soon.  She is recovering from it.  However, please do not mention the extent of her injuries to her yet, and do not talk about much more than the current day if you are visiting her.  There is no need to create frustration, and have it repeated day after day because she does not remember what was said the day before, or for not remembering the subject of the conversation.  I spent a long time last night getting her focus back on to her recovery and appreciating that she is alive.  Depression will come, we don’t need to look look for it.

It was a very long day.  I am going to my recovery room too.  Good night.  And thanks again for all your kindness!!!!!

Hello everyone.  This is Kal again with my poor grammar, so please forgive me.  Jitka is doing better today.  Her white cell count is down to 11 thousand, and most importantly, she is lucid and communicative.  She finally gave Jani permission to drink beer again, and gestured that she would like one too!  (Jani had sworn not to drink until she gave him permission)  Our Jitka is back!  She is doing well with the process of gradually coming off the ventilator, but has a busy day tomorrow.  We are told that they are going to do the skin graft on her right leg as well as the feeding tube that goes directly into her stomach (percutaneous enterogastric tube).  An unfortunate necessity to make sure she has adequate nutrition in order to properly heal.  I am sure the poor thing is starving after she pulled out her temporary feeding tube.  I have a feeling that all of this will be in for only a short while.  She is making outstanding progress.

In the meantime, Mervie and I are flying down for the weekend with our youngest son, Kellan (6 months).  I cannot wait to see her!  It has been horrible being away from her, but now that she is more lucid, I think that it will mean more to have us there.  Knowing her, I am sure she is angry that she slept through our last visit.

I was at work a couple of days ago, and a nurse that I have known for a few years approached me and kindly offered her prayers for Jitka.  She had asked what happened and we briefly discussed it and I gave her the website for the blog.  She explained to me that she had lost her son on the first of October to complications from diabetes.  He, also was a young man.  I cannot believe the tragedies that have occurred in the past month.  I saw her again today, and she had told me that she had started a website for her son as well, and that it had helped her so much to write her feelings and share them with those that she cares about.  Many people that don’t know Jitka or our family have e-mailed with their support and prayers.  I would like to say thank you to those wonderful people as well.  Everyone’s support has helped us tremendously.  I would ask you all to remember in your prayers those whom we do not know that are having difficult times as well.

My next letter will be from Greenville, NC.

Goodnight,

Kal

I got boxed in by a Dormicum pill last night and didn’t get to write the great news of yesterday: She was off the vent for 93 minutes and took it really well.  Her resp nurse Brian said she is improving really well.  She was very aware of all activity around her, to a level when she asked her own questions on lab results and settings.  Of course it was a challenge to understand.  Need to become a pretty good lip reader if she goes on like this much longer.  She was alert for 4 hrs.  The white cells were on the decrease now for two days.  That is great.  Now the count is in the 11000 range. 

I could not talk with her last night.  She was already sleeping and didn’t have the heart to wake her up.  I always forward her the messages you send.  She is very touched by all the attention she is getting.  Thank you.  J.

Last night Jitka managed to pull her feeding tube out.  At this time inserting a peg-tube directly to her stomach is not possible.  Her white blood cells are on the increase, and the count cannot be relied on to establish the success of the operation.  She needs to have a stable or decreasing count.  So for the time being it is a bit of hunger that keeps her mind REALLY occupied.  It is to an extent that I was afraid to tell her I was going to the cafeteria….  Her air intake was the lowest at the same setting I have seen.  However, it improved from the lower 200s to the lower 300mL/breath – at the same setting of 5PEEP and 45%O.  This change occurred between 2PM and 9PM.  That is promising.  I am looking forward ot finding out the white cell count and the respiratory numbers tomorrow morning.  Her red cell count continues to climb.   Today I established contact with the rehabilitation specialist.  She will start working with Jitka very soon.  It would be great if she would not need the ventilator anymore. In that case she could try to swallow food and the peg-tube would not necessary be needed. Please give me some room here for error.  I am not the medical pro.  I would let Kal update this site, but I am just tired of him making mistakes with his English. 

I know this site is dedicated to Jitka, but sometimes I will write some news about the kids as well.  They are very lovely and not giving me hard time at all ————–,that was my nose growing there.  They ARE lovely.  Rowan feels all better. Encsi never got sick at all.  I am very grateful to a local drop-in child care called Kidztown for taking them in.  Thank you Niki!  I also have help from friends who stay with them while I see Jitka in the evening.  Thanks to you too!  I am planning to spent tomorrow afternoon with Rowan.  I think he would appreciate some one-on-one attention.

Jitka was awake and aware of her surroundings for at least 4 hours this morning.  She got really tired of me being there….  She is frustrated by all the tubes and noises.  At least that is my impression.  We try to communicate with different methods, without great success.  That must be nerve wrecking for her.  I know it is for me.  We will have good friends and family visiting from Saturday.  I am looking forward to that.  I am sure she will be very upbeat about seeing her friends and family too.  I feel like writing more, but I won’t torture you with my English anymore.  I have ONE sleeping pill left.  Put that to use in a minute.  Good night!

Happy 70th birthday to you mother form Jitka, Rowan, Encsi, and I! Boldog szulinapot Edesanyam! 

Jitka has been moved to the intermediate care.  Her IV has been taken out and she receives fluid through her feeding tube.  The vent setting has not changed, but I am sure it will soon.  She is so much better today.  She was in fact communicating.  I was trying to read her lips, and so were some other people.  It seems like she is asking for the rehabilitation people.  I put the kids’ pictures back on the wall and ceiling for her.  Oh, I almost forgot, I took Rowan in to see her today.  He wanted to go there again.  However, after three minutes he asked me to take him away from the room.  It was good for both of them to see each-other.  Jitka’s respiratory rate doubled when we walked in. 

Thank you doctors and nurses at the surgical ICU to “graduate” her from your department!  Really, THANK YOU!!  Clay, Omar, Adam, and all the others, you have done a hard and wonderful job.  I will never forget.

Hi all, this is Kal again.  Jani and I are taking turns. 

Unfortunately, it seems that Rowan has a bit of the stomach flu tonight and Jani had to stay with him.  I could hear the sadness in his voice when he told me he could not visit her at 8:30.  For some reason that is my favorite visit-I think that it is hers too.  Everything is quiet, and she always seemed a little better in the evenings.   I had to come back to MI for the week, but I left my heart there at her bedside.  I am anxious to get back there this weekend so that I can take some of the burden from Jani-not that he lets me do much.  I spoke with Jitka’s nurse, Omar just a few minutes ago,  He said she was doing fine.  She had some chest pain; but then again she has numerous fractured ribs, so that is to be expected.  She seems to be floating in and out a bit.  I can’t wait to see her again- and be seen back.  Jitka remains on the ventilator, on fairly minimal support, but she just can’t take that final step and be free of it.  I tell myself to be patient, but we have always held high expectations for eachother.  There is no doubt that she was always tougher than me.  She is going to make a miracle.

Our family sends our love to you all.  Goodnight.

This morning lab results show lower white cell count and higher red cell count.  That is great. Her temperature is normal.  She was more responsive today than she was yesterday.  I think she loves being seen, but prefers not too much being talked to.  I rub her face with baby lotion.  She liked that very much.  This update is just from the morning visit.  I hope to see even more improvements as the day goes on.  She is still on the vent.  Those numbers need to get a lot better before she can be sent off form the surgical ICU.  She has excellent care.  Thank you hospital staff!!

Irok egy par sort igy ekezetek nelkul.  Remelem segit.   Nehezen telnek a napok Jitkanak.  Ma sokkal faradtabbnak tunt.  Holnap lehet kellene neki veratomlesztes mert a vorosversejtek eltunoben vannak.  Bevittem Rorot ma hozza.  Mosolygott, de pillanatokon belul visszacsukta a szemet es ugy pihent.  Roro kerdezoskodott a kepernyok felol, stb.  Mondta maminak hogy jojjon haza mert hamar jobban lesz.  Remelem a legkozelebbi talalkozasuk jobban for sikerulni. 

Nincs nagy valtozas az allapotaban.  Talan a laza kevesebb mint 24 oraval ezelott.  a feherversejtek nem csokkentek.  Kap eleg morfiumot meg ahhoz hogy el tud aludni.  Remelem holnap jobb napja lesz.  Biztos lassan telik az ido a korhazi agyban.

Koszonjuk a sok erdeklodest es jokivansagot!  Nagyon jol esik.

Yesterday I ran out of all my 24 hrs around half way through my daily agenda, so here is a two day update. She had enough energy on Wednesday to show her thumb for OK, and frown for not-OK.  She was very thirsty.  I could have gotten away with probably everything on Earth for a glass of water.  I talked her into letting Rowan see her.  It looked she didn’t want Rowan to see her in this condition, but she wanted to see him, and Rowan wanted to see her.  So I promised the little 4yr old that if the hospital allows him in, he can see mommy.  And that was going to be the special moment for today.  However, Jitka’s energy goes hand-in-hand with her red b cell count….  Her count is down today, as I heard, and that might explain why she had no pretty brown eyes for us.  She opened her eyes for Roro,  she smiled.  But for the most part she was not really acknowledging us.  Roro now has an idea where and how mommy is.  I think it will help him.  I haven’t had a chance to speak with a doctor for two days.  I always need to leave to pick up the kids just before the opportunity is there to talk.  So I am not able to tell their thoughts.  I am going to try tomorrow again to ask someone.  We are a little concerned about the ongoing fever she has.  It would be nice to see it drop.  Her white cell count dropped only 200 as well.  

For those of you who are concerned about me…..all I can say Send Me Time!  Poor Jitka, time probably drags, and for me it is sprinting.   Thank you all for your nice letters, cards, visits, etc! 

Well, It was a terrific day for Jitka.  Jani has called me several times today to let me know that she is much more communicative.  She is smiling at his stupid jokes.  She is amazing!  To think that just last week, we were sick with worry that she might not live. She remains on the ventilator, but was able to sit up in a chair. Her fevers persist, though cultures have been negative, and her favorite thing now is the damp cloth that Jani places on her forehead.  Hopefully, she will make it out of the ICU soon.

Jani and I would like to thank everyone for their well wishes and prayers.  My inbox is full, and I have tried to answer as many e-mails as possible, but there are so many!  Jani and I would therefore like to express our extreme gratitude here on the blog so that you all know how much your messages have meant to all of us.  We are planning on printing them all and binding them and giving them to Jitka.  We have also started a scrap book in which the family has written and placed pictures to remind her of how far she has come.

It would seem that her life has been saved by this tremendous medical team at Pitt County Memorial, but she still has many obstacles.  Many of those obstacles will be emotional.  She will need the love and support of every single one of us on this tough road to recovery.  She will be so moved when we can actually show her how wonderful everyone has been.

Thank you, and good night.

Kal

I would like to let you know that Jitka has put on a few smiles today.  I have a feeling that they were put on just to make me feel better, and not because she was so joyful about her condition.  But smile is better than tears.  She had a tracheostomy done yesterday and she feels very uncomfortable about it.  It hurts her to move or cough.  The ventilator is still on PEEP 5 and 30% Oxygen. The last remaining 2 chest tubes were removed today and her chest X-ray seems OK.  Also, first time today the nurses put her in a position that more or less resembles sitting.  She did not look to happy about it.  I tried to make her head a little bit more comfortable.  Than she fell back asleep like that.  Her white blood cell count is at 19300.  We’ll see if it is still in the downward trend by tomorrow morning. She still has 38.5C fever.  Today the two wonderful nurses gave her a wash. I am sure Jitka was grateful for that.  Her left eye still had the contact lens in.  That was removed and after lubing the eye a bit she opened her beautiful big brown eyes all the way for a quick moment.  That is how she shows appreciation now.  I keep telling her I am not there to cheer her up with silly stuff.  I don’t think she has much energy for that.  It is just my guess.  She can totally comprehend everything that she hears, but it tires her out and she falls asleep.  I tell her I am there to pull through this horrible time together.  She gives me strength when she tries to communicate with her eyes. 

I am not sure, but have a feeling I made her wonder if all my bulbs are screwed in right when I talked to her about food…..   I got a dirty little look and a frown.  I do not want to taste the tube-feed for sure….

I am going to inform those here who asked about a trust fund that it is in the works very much.  It takes a little legal attention by two very kind and generous attorneys to make it just right for her situation.  They are working on the details how the trust can be used and and so on.  After it has to be given a federal ID #, and opened at a bank here.  The official name of the trust will be: Jitka Virag Recovery Fund Trust.  I personally not going to be contributing to it too much since I am not going to be able to work for a while, but if you wish, you can send a gift filled out to that name.  We will post the description and details of it here on this site when it is ready. 

Jitkát október 19-én pénteken este elütötte egy autó ahogy hazafelé ment biciklivel. A Traumatológián van, gépi lélegeztetésen, mellkascsövekkel, folyamatos altatásban. A baleset során bekövetkezett sérülések többek között agyvérömleny, többszörös bordatörés tüdözúzódással és légmellel, jobb felkartörés és ami a legrosszabb T4-5 csigolyatöréssel.
Az elmúlt tíz napban elöször javult aztán kissé rosszabodott az állapota, majd újra javult, tegnap pedig megmütötték, a T3-6 hátcsigolyákat két vaskapoccsal kétoldalról összefogva egyesítették. A sebész a mütét során a kemény-agyhártyán nem talált sérülést így két óra alatt végzett.
Jitkának a gépi lélegeztetés, a törések-zúzódások és a légmellek miatt tüdögyulladása van amit agresszíven kezelnek antibiotikumokkal. Saját maga lélegzik, a gép támogatásával.
Legutóbb a vér nátrium tartalma esett kritikusan alacsony szintre ami elöfordul fejsérülteknél epizód-szerüen, magas koncentrátumú só-infuzióval most a normális tartomány alatt van kicsivel.  A mai nap folyaman eltavolitottak a csoveket amelyek a szajan at voltak.  A hangszalagok maradando karosodasanak veszelye miatt.  Most a nyakan/torkan at van helyezve a lelegezteto.  Nagyon nehezen ebredezik, de ugy veszem eszre szereti amikor a fejere teszem a kezem es suttogok a fulebe.  Nem tudommit erez.  Valoszinu nem fog tudni beszelni meg 2 hetig.  Kerem hogy gondoljon mindig jo pillanatokra es probaljon lassan, melyen lelegezni.  Remeljuk erosodik valamennyit minden nap.  Nagyon koszonjuk a rengeteg jokivansagot, aggodalmat amit iranta kifejeznek.  Probalok en is energiat meriteni a sok joakaratbol.  Ezentul probalok irni ide minden nap egy keveset magyarul. Elnezest hogy eddig nem tettem.

Vince, you never let me down! Vince is the man in Winnipeg who set up this site for Jitka.  I am sure she would like to say say thanks to you for it.  So many people can read about her rocky road of recovery.  I have so much help offered to me.  There are some truly wonderful people out there helping me with the children.  Thank you so much.  I tell Jitka about it every day. I place a cold towel on her head and whisper into her ear.  She seems to love that.  I opened her eyelids today and showed her the pictures of the children.  Her tears came out.  I can’t imagine how much she misses them.  I think it is time for me to tell Rowan what happened.  I know it will hurt him to hear about his mommy being like this.  And I really don’t want that.  But I am tired of coming up with stories.  I hope we will get through it OK.  I tried to put them in a daycare today.  It was not the experience we were looking for…  I guess we are just all too fragile now.  And we are just all waiting for our little fragile flower to bloom again.  Someone stepped on my flower, but she will bloom again.  It is hard to feel pain, but now I find it harder to see it.  Thank you so much helping us get though it. 

Okay, sorry everyone, but yesterday was a busy day for us.  Jitka went to the operating room yesterday and had a fusion of her thoracic vertebrae with placement of harrington rods (rods that hold the vertebrae in line while the bone grafts heal and fuse the actual vertebrae).   Dr. Reeg, the surgeon, (whom, by the way, we were told by many that if they required surgery like this-he would be the man) told us that there is little hope that her spinal cord will recover function.  We have decided to plan for the worst and hope for the best.  With prayer, anything is possible.  She made it through the operation quickly and without complication.  Thank God. 

Jitka chooses something to test my coronary arteries daily. Today, she just did not want to wake up.  She was completely off sedation, but we could not get her to open her eyes and respond.  A CT scan of the head was repeated and we were very anxiously awaiting those results all day.  It showed only some mild interval improvement in the subarachnoid bleed.  Thank God again.  Finally, at the 4:30pm visitation she started to open her eyes a bit and respond to our voices by lifting her arms a bit and moving her face.  What a profound relief!

I would like to take a moment to describe her setting.  She is at Pitt County Memorial Hospital, a 750 bed, state of the art medical institution that serves more than 30 counties.  Both the facility and the care are world class.  Dr. Newell, the attending physician on the trauma team has been amazing.  Not only is he an excellent physician, but an outstanding human being.  Dr. Joe Goodwin is the trauma fellow.  He has kept his eye on Jitka and comforted me when my mind was riddled with countless, horrible scenarios.  There is a team of nurses, the names of whom I cannot mention because there are so many!  They are top notch, one after the other.  Simply said, there is nowhere else that I would rather my dear sister be.

Jani has been a rock for my sister.  I can’t imagine anyone else at her side.  He has been loving and compassionate and has the spirit to help her through this, and lift her when she may falter.  He has been an inspiration with his children, from whom they will both gain strength.  I find myself dreaming of the day when she will look on her babies again.  Just a few days ago, that was a dream that may not have come true. 

Finally, I would like to thank all of you again.  We have had friends who have displayed kindness and generosity that is beyond conceivable to me.  I dare not mention names, for fear of accidentally excluding someone. We are overwhelmed by the love and prayers that have come forth.

A good day!  Jitka is breathing on her own with some pressure support on the ventilator.  Her pulmonary function has dramatically improved.  She is scheduled to have her back surgery tomorrow morning at 7:30am.  She is still having fevers, but has any number of reasons for those, and is being treated for pneumonia.  This morning, her white blood cell count increased to 17k from 11k (a possible sign of ongoing or worsening infection), but all cultures (blood and urine placed on bacteria food so it can grow, if present in those fluids) other than sputum are negative.  She also developed hyponatremia (low sodium concentration in the blood) at 119meq/L (normal is 140) which we are in agreement is likely some degree of cerebral salt wasting (a disorder of salt wasting by the kidney caused by head injury; usually self-limited) .  She required a little bit of concentrated salt in the IV to stablize that, and I think that once they stabilize her T-spine we’ll do another CT scan of the head to make sure that nothing new has developed.  Neurologically, she is moving her arms and blinking her eyes. These Doctors are unbelievable-they have been absolutely wonderful.

The kids still don’t know, and so we have spoken to someone in the hospital who specializes in breaking bad news to kids.  I think it is going to be tough no matter what advice we get, but nonetheless, hopefully we can cushion the blow a little.  Everyone who knows little Ro Ro knows how sensitive he is about his mommy.  In the meantime, some of the local day care centers have been extraordinarily generous in helping us through this time.

We, again, cannot put into words how grateful we are to all of you for your tremendous support during this time.  Our friends have told us that the Jitka Virag Recovery Fund is off to a strong start, and that is so much appreciated!  I have been learning a little more about how the medical bills might roll in and they will likely be quite daunting.

We would like to thank all of the hundreds of people who have been praying day and night for our sweet Jitka.  Please keep it up because it is working!  We are encouraged with her progress, and we know that it will take everyones’ love and prayers to see her through this.

Hello again,

Today, our dear Jitka has been making steps forward.  She is being treated with antibiotics for her pneumonia and after the bronchoscopy yesterday, her right lung has remained inflated.  The tension pneumothorax on the left has imroved and has allowed for one of the three chest tubes to be removed.  Vent settings are improving slowly and she is now all the way down to 40% oxygen and 13 of PEEP.  Sorry, I include these little details for my auntie Jitka in the Czech republic and all of the clinicians that are reading this that need more specifics.

Many of Jika’s friends have offered to jump on a plane and come to see her.  This is terrifically appreciated.  The problem is that the ICU rules are strict and non-family members are not permitted.  Even we are quite restricted in our visitation priveleges, and it is for good reason.  She is so, so fragile right now.  Please save that plane ticket for when she is awake and alert and you can come and bring back that captivating smile to my sister’s face.

We have not activated the blog on the site because many folks would like to leave personal messages that they would not like read by everyone.  Most have been e-mailing Jani and myself (kal.ismail1@gmail.com).  We verbally take these messages to her, and will save them and print them up and give them to her when she can read them herself.

We are again grateful for the overwhelming upwelling of love and support.   Unfortunately, this will likely be more of a marathon, than a sprint-so stay with us!

Since the last update,  we just wanted to let you know about today.  It is amazing what can happen in a day.  Over the past 2 days, Jitka has been having some trouble oxygenating.  The Doctor’s were afraid that she might be developing ARDS (Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome-a severe inflammatory lung disease).  She was found, however, to have a worsening tension pneumothorax (air in the chest compressing the lung) on the left, which required a second and now a third chest tube to relieve it. In addition, she had collapsed her entire right lower and middle lobes with a mucous plug.  She has had bronchoscopies the last 2 days and she is now expanding that lung well.  We all prayed through the night that it would be something like this, that at least we can do something about.  She has also required a central line and arterial line.  I fail to believe it is my prayers, because  God owes me no favors.  But when so many of you wonderful people are in her corner asking God to help her; how can he not listen? We all think that today is the day that she will turn the corner that will stabilize her enough to go to the operating room for surgery on her spine.

With regards to the children, they are doing well.  They have no idea that mommy is fighting for her life 4 miles down the street.  I think Rowan is suspicious, because he knows that there is no way that mommy  would let us visit while she is away at a meeting, but something in him subconsciously tells him not to ask.  They are both as sweet as ever and play happily.  So many have come forward and offered to babysit for them.  We seem to be okay now, but please hold those thoughts because we may need you in the future!   Our deepest thanks, again to all those who have come forward with well wishes and hugs and offerings of food and extra hands. 

Dear all,

Apologies for the delay in this update, but as you know, things have been very unstable.

Jitka, as you know was hit by a car while bicycling home from work on friday, Oct. 19th.   She was hit from behind by a car that was travelling at roughly 50mph.  She is currently in the Intensive Care Unit under the care of the Trauma team who has been absolutely outstanding.   At this point, her injury list is extensive and includes a small subdural hematoma, a small subarachnoid bleed, bilateral ruptured lungs (which seem to be causing most of the immediate problems), bilateral lung contusions, ventilator-dependent respiratory failure, multiple fractured ribs, a fractured right arm, a fractured shoulder blade and worst of all, numerous fractured vertebrae with spinal cord injury at T4-5.  I know that I am likely forgetting something, but it seems there is a new injury every time we enter the room.

We would like to thank the community and all of our friends and neighbors for stepping up in our family’s time of need.  Words cannot express the gratitude that we feel for all of those who have sent well wishes and offered to baby sit or bring food to the house, or whatever we need.  God bless you all. 

With regards to flowers or gift packages, we would like to ask that flowers not be sent.  For all of you who know Jitka, you would know that she would rather something more useful be done with those resources.  Therefore, we would ask that you send whatever money that you planned to spend on flowers or candy to either the Christopher and Dana Reeves Foundation for Spinal Cord Research, or, Theresa and David Lever were kind enough to set up a “Jitka Virag Recovery Fund” to which donations may be sent and will be applied to medical bills or the support of her little children. I am told that this fund will be up and running by this Friday, and I will keep you posted with the address.

Thank you all very much for your support and compassion in this time of need.  We as a family send our love to you all.