Dear all,

I thank all of you who are still reading this. So many people have been commenting to me that they have followed and still do follow this blog. My sister-in-law was telling me about her co-workers who check up on me and talk to her about it. There are SO many people who are looking out for me because they care not only about me but my relatives who have been affected by all this as well.  My gratitude for your thoughts and wishes is boundless. My thanks for supporting those I love is….well, the lump in my throat doesn’t allow me to say how intensely I feel about it without totally cracking. Thank you.

Things are going alright. Last week I was able to spend a lot more time at work than I have previously and I am glad for that. Although being there reminds me of how much catching up there is left to do and so trying to move forward is like rolling up a steep incline  - laborious, challenging, and frustrating because I  see where I need to be and I know I could get there faster if I had the “tools”. But I’m doing the best I can.

Physically: My fluid management is getting better. My strength is improving. I miss my therapists at rehab though. My anterior pituitary decided it would listen to my hypothalamus and my ovary and uterus didn’t want to be left out and so now I get to experience some femalehood again. Although I have to admit that if it weren’t for the typically “brain symptoms” (moodiness, tiredness, etc…OK I’ll give in – crabbiness!!!), I wouldn’t have known it was coming. So, I can attest to the fact that PMS is not a figment of the female imagination!  Anyway, things are taking a bit longer but anything that was normal before is welcome back. Other things haven’t changed – my smell has not yet returned. Now my jasmine flowers are gone and that makes me sad. I hope that sense comes back soon – I really miss the scents of my kids and my husband. I believe that how I perceive my senses makes me feel alive. I guess since I can’t feel with most of my body, I just want to have that extra sense to be able to devour them as much as possible.  Fortunately, I have other senses to work with and so being able to hear them, see them, and hug them makes this tolerable.

Saturday was fun but in a bittersweet way. Jani and I took Rowan to Jumpin’ Monkey to wish Elliot a happy birthday and bid farewell to the Abbott family who is moving away this week. Of course we wish them the best and know they will be in good hands since they will be closer to family but we will miss them something fierce. Dr. Susan has looked after us as if we were kin. Good souls. 

Apparently this party was another example of how small my world is now.  My friend Cindy from Ionia Michigan who I have been in touch with a bit here and there and moreso lately (and just found out that her family is 3.5 hours away in SC!) sent me a note saying that she knew I was at that party because of friend of her husband’s was there too. Unfortunately, Eric Frank and I didn’t recognize each other (her and Karl were a few years ahead of us in high school) but hopefully I will get to see all of them in a few weeks!

Anyway, I have to run to get myself together and get to work but I just wanted you all to know that I am so glad that my heart and brain are doing what they used to. With the support and encouragement of so many fabulous people, more will heal. Please keep believing for me.

BTW - Yesterday, Khaled and Mervet celebrated their 9th wedding anniversary and their middle child Kyan turned 4 too! I love them so much.